Recurring Redundancy (is that redundant?)

[NandTfromCA]

I posted this in an answer to a recent question in the New Swingers area but I thought I would post it here too:

Does it make sense to have a thread titled "How to get my spouse to swing" and sticky note it to the top of the New Swingers area? That way people with that question can get their answer from the previous posts and it would be a solid compilation of advice around a question that is so common.

I almost feel silly responding to some of them now because the advice is so typically the same- "Let your feelings be known, then back off and respect your spouses answer."

[JnCC]

I think it's an excellent idea, since there are a lot of people who would consider swinging, if they only knew how to go about presenting the idea to their spouses without causing arguments.

[angelrose85053]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

I posted this in an answer to a recent question in the New Swingers area but I thought I would post it here too:

Does it make sense to have a thread titled "How to get my spouse to swing" and sticky note it to the top of the New Swingers area? That way people with that question can get their answer from the previous posts and it would be a solid compilation of advice around a question that is so common.

I almost feel silly responding to some of them now because the advice is so typically the same- "Let your feelings be known, then back off and respect your spouses answer."

I followed you on that last post and totally agree. *seconding the motion* heehee

[Lovinlife59912]

"Let your feelings be known, then back off and respect your spouses answer."

This advise worked with us and I got it from this board. Thanks

[justforfun2]

if you are worried that bringing up the idea of swinging to your spouse might bring up an argument , then my thought is that swinging isnt for you . your relationship must be very secure before you can begine to think about the idea of bringing in another partner . Any problems you might have will only be exagerated . You cannot force or otherwise make someone change their mind about getting involved . They have to want to do it on their own free will .But then again is just my opinion , feel free to have your own !

Mr.just4fun2

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

I posted this in an answer to a recent question in the New Swingers area but I thought I would post it here too:

Does it make sense to have a thread titled "How to get my spouse to swing" and sticky note it to the top of the New Swingers area? That way people with that question can get their answer from the previous posts and it would be a solid compilation of advice around a question that is so common.

I almost feel silly responding to some of them now because the advice is so typically the same- "Let your feelings be known, then back off and respect your spouses answer."

I don't know. You're right in one hand, we keep saying basically the same over and over.

In the other hand, we've been failing to make certain points, and worried about this is posted this thread some time ago.

Since every person have very aprticular issues and ways to (miss)understand what they read, I think we have better chances to address these issues case by case.

I'd agree with such an sticky post but not to avoid them to ask, instead to cover the very basics and INVITE them to ask about their particular case anyway. I'd like to know they didn't missunderstood nor gave something for granted that they shouldn't, and a sticky post would deprive us from a feedback from them.

And let's suppose we agree on having such an sticky post. Who's in charge to write it, decice what deserve to be there and what doesn't? Every member have a unique and valuable viewpoint, all of them deserve to be listened, the addition of experiences and advices is what makes a quality difference that we'd be risking to lose if we began syntesizing the forum contents (a task that again, should be done by just few people following their own criteria, end even with the best will they may end up muting valuable things just because these aren't so baluable under such a criteria).

Besides, there's always people requiring an advice close to something that was already post in the forum. IMHO a forum purpose is to gather all the experience and information, and even when there exists redundancy, every topic could deserve a sticky post, and between all these sitcky posts we'd have to cover the entire forum contents. These ones who ask questions already answered usually didn't took the time to search the forum, so they may not even read these sticky posts at all.

So, I think there are several arguments against your idea, and I don't know if the motivations for such a sticky post would worth the price.

[JustAskJulie]

As I posted to the other thread. That question is answered in the FAQ (as well as many other frequent questions), it also has an archive dedicated to it (as do most of the commonly asked questions). I can write up FAQs all day long and try to organize the archives as best possible but I can't make people read them. Some people just aren't going to dig before they ask a question, they are either just in too much of a hurry or too lazy sometimes or who knows what.

That said, two things to consider.

1. I know we get tired of answering the same questions over and over, so if you don't want to answer the same question, DON'T. Typically a mod will reply with a reference to the FAQ or archive where a topic can be found. Leave it at that. If you feel like you want to respond then go for it, but remember to treat every member with the same respect you would want to be given. Remember, you were new here once too and at that time you hadn't read 10 topics on that same question, and may have had the same question, or some other basic question that you've since realized is the most commonly asked question on the board - but you may have also asked it, not taking the time to dig through what's already here.

When new people come in it is important to be encouraging to them, to let them ask questions and let them feel comfortable. Those early basic questions are what will give them that feeling of comfort and acceptance. If we slam them down on their first post telling them how dumb they are for not reading what is already here, then likely they will run to the hills and never read anything let alone post again. That's not the attitude we want to display here.

Take some time and familiarize yourselves with the FAQ and what is available there, as well as with the many MANY topics available in the archives, that way when you see these common questions come up and you feel the need to reply but don't feel like repeating what's already there you can just refer them to said FAQ or archive.

[NandTfromCA]

I hear ya Julie. AND just to be clear, you have created a fantastic resource for tons of people. THANK YOU.

Of course, if we don't want to answer a question, we DON'T. I think the question in mention is a valid and extremely common one.

I am not passionate about the idea so I have no problem letting it die. My thought was that it is such a common question that people would find their answer more easily if there was a single thread to review.

That said, I will read the FAQ and Archives again and will likely reference those in my posts more.

Until I have my next bright idea ,

Mr.