How Far Have You Come since you joined the Swingers Board?

[JustAskJulie]

Ok, here's my challenge, take a look at your profile and view the date you joined (this also shows up under your picture on each post you make), then post the following information:

Date You joined the Swingers Board:
Your Swinging status at the time (how long had you been swinging? Or were you a newbie?)

Then, post where you are today in regards to swinger status. Have you had any major changes in the time you've been a member here?

I realize for some new folks this won't work, but we have a lot of people who have been here for over a year, and some who have been around for several years.

[DBL D]

You know what? We still have strong discussions, but it isn't about our desire to be in the lifestyle anymore. It is usually about how one of us is dealing with e-mails and how we deal with the people we've met. We're still learning but have not stopped trying to make our way in this world of sex and intrigue.

Seems to be getting better. We can look at profiles together now.

The whole affair has gotten smoother.

Male D

[txduo2000]

Join Date: 6-15-05

Swinging Status: Active, Full-Swap Couple, on and off for about 4 years.

Changes/Current Climate:

LOTS of changes ... hubby and I were separated from Dec. 2004 thru April 2005. When we reconciled, I discovered that during our separation hubby had been swinging with a new girlfriend.

Prior to our separation, we had been out of the lifestyle for about 2 years, though I discovered, after our reconciliation, that hubby had maintained our profile on Swing Lifestyle and was casually still "perusing" the lifestyle, even if he wasn't actively participating.

When we reconciled, and upon my discovery of his activities with his girlfriend during our separation, I jumped headlong back into swinging, confused about the state of our relationship, thinking that's what he wanted so badly so let's do it, and just wanting to actually (and blatantly honestly) compete and WIN over his encounters he had had with the girlfriend. Yes, I know ... major ISSUES there.

Needless to say, we had a couple of disastrous encounters, many stressful and ambiguous feelings about it all, and just an overall unhealthy re-entry into the lifestyle ... for the wrong reasons altogether and far too soon after our separation/reconciliation. It did result in another brief respite from the lifestyle for us to kind of regroup and reconnect with each other and get comfortable with ourselves and each other.

Now, here we are ... both content with each other, our relationship. We have ironed out our difficulties, have complete and implicit trust in each other and are completely comfortable being in the lifestyle ... for the RIGHT reasons.

Being VERY honest here and disclosing MUCH more on the boards than I have since I have been a member, so I am sure many will think that it is still too soon for us to be back in ... BUT, we have always had a very concentrated and intense relationship and dramatic things happen and have always happened with us in very short timeframes. Hard to explain, but basically, we have experienced so very much in our 6.5 years together ... so much more than many people experience in a 20 year relationship/marriage. So for us, time is not as much a consideration as our level of commitment and respect for each other and trust in each other, which we have both come to have in a relatively short period of time.

Don't get me wrong, we still have jealousy issues ... but not within the lifestyle. I have always thought that was strange ... how we can be so jealous in our "real world" life and not have even a hint of it while we are swinging ... absolutely NONE. And what I mean by "jealous" is that little twinge you get when you feel that a person is attracted to your spouse, they are not in the lifestyle, and you kind of get this feeling that given the opportunity they would jump on the chance to cheat with your spouse. Not jealousy as far as uncertainty in our spouse's reaction to such a thing.

I include this descriptor simply because I am very annoyed by a woman who I believe pays WAY too much attention to my husband, in the form of text messages, voicemails and several times a week phone calls. This woman is the mother of a friend of our son, she doesn't speak to me and barely acknowledges my existence when we are in the presence of one another at football games, school events, etc. She is married, and her husband is also a friend of my husband's, but RARELY does her hubby call mine ... it's always her. And she has a very flirty nature about her. I have told my husband what I think of her, and I have no concerns that he would ever do anything with her. He knows and respects how I feel and maintains communication with her only as it relates to the kids.

I will also add that we are active, but not "hard-core" swingers. We do not spend every moment of our free time in swinging activities ... we do maintain a "real world" life, too. lol It's more of a hobby for us ... an enjoyable one, but a hobby more than a true lifestyle for us.

[valley]

does sex lasy night count?......With a new one?

(mmmmmmm...nice new one)

[TNT]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Date You joined the Swingers Board:
Your Swinging status at the time (how long had you been swinging? Or were you a newbie?)

Joined July 2001...we had been reading the board for quite a few months before joining.

Status: Swinging for a year and a half at the time.

Then, post where you are today in regards to swinger status. Have you had any major changes in the time you've been a member here?

That's a hard question. We are very relaxed and experienced after almost six years of swinging, we've been there done that on just about any scenario you can think of. About the only thing we have not experienced is swinging separately...we have done this in house party type settings. Separate rooms with each of us totally alone with someone else still does not hold much appeal to either of us at this time....although it has been discussed and we feel that it might come to pass at some point. The one thing we have learned throughout the years is never say never as that is the first thing that you will find yourself doing and in our case liking it a lot . We are very at ease with things, we don't take things seriously and we just go with the flow and enjoy whatever might come to pass.

Teresa

[northindycpl]

We joined almost a year ago; 11/2004. Our status at the time was mixed to a degree. We had had some experiences over the past 5 years, but were not actively swinging, or even really swinging. When we joined the board, we had been looking at for a few months, and had recently made the decision that we were going to actively swing. That we were going to make time for ourselves and get out there.

We have had tremendous changes in our swinging since we have been members of SB.

First and foremost, the way that we swing (with whom, where and why) has changed.
By working through an issue we were having with a couple we started to swing with initially, with our friends here, we were able to really clearly see the kind of swinging that worked best for us.

Secondly, we have also had the opportunity to meet with experienced swingers, that we met through the board, and I think that has been wonderful. It was sorta like seeing the pro's in action. While noticing how they have fine-tuned their swinging ways, it has helped us to fine tune ours. (things like signals, etc)

Lastly, I think the community that is felt here is awesome. This tends to be the first place I turn to get advice when needed. It is also great to be a mentor and have the ability to advise others.

I have referred so many people here, for so many reasons, and I cannot see that changing in the future.

[Pepper & Drew]

We joined in June 2004. Actually, we'd created another profile the year before, right after our first experience. But, things happened and we didn't swing for a year, and I completely forgot the name of the profile. Anywho, in June 2004, we'd just gotten back into swinging and signed up again. Now, our status is still the same, but we're a lot more savvy now than we were then. We've learned how to talk more frankly, we've learned what our comfort levels are, and we've gotten better at spotting couples we need to avoid. Mostly, though, playing in the last 16 months has opened the door to our sexual exploration with each other. We've tried things that we now really enjoy that we probably wouldn't have without being in the lifestyle, and in some cases, without this board. It's been a great journey so far.

Pepper

[bear_and_babe]

Join date: Dec 2003

Swing status then: We had just had our first swing experience and were still so new to everything. We were still trying to figure out our rules and trying to figure out what we wanted from the lifestyle. Finding couples was hard for us, so we decided to try going to a club. We kind of hit the ground running. Like kids in a candy store, we were playing almost every time we went. We wanted to try everything and sorry to say we were not really picky about who we tried it with.

Status now: We still go to the club, almost every week, but experience has shown us that we don’t have to play every time. Now we go to the club to dance and have fun with each other. If we happen to hook up, then that is great, if we don’t hook up, then we had a great time either way. We have taken several breaks from the lifestyle. Taking breaks helps us take a look back and figure where things are going. For us, the lifestyle has really helped us better communicate with each other. Not just about lifestyle things, but everyday things. We tend to listen to each other a little more closely now. So I guess you can say that we have come a long way since we joined here.

[meandher2go]

join date : : :

did our first MFF the week before i think.
in the next few months found a great couple to play with.
a few months after that, found a guy for a MFM
then found another couple to play with.
and just recently found a perfect guy for the with to have another MFM.

and as always, STILL looking for a BI female to join us. and also another great couple.

[curiousagain]

When I joined, I had been swinging for about 6 months and was just beginning to be a "regular" at it I think. Someone once said that swinging was like having a new toy, that when you first start, you swing a lot, then you kind of taper off, then just swing once in a while. That is pretty much where I am now. For a while I was swinging with a lot of different people, some regularly and some just once, some here in my town and doing some traveling. I was just starting to rethink all of it due to some jealousy issues with couples when we had a death in the family and I didn't swing at all or go out or anything for a long time. I was pretty depressed. If I did go out, it was with old friends or one regular FB I had.

I have just recently been getting "back in the swing of things" so to speak. I have a close circle of friends I swing with occasionally and occasionally with new people. I find myself saying no more often then yes now days. Let's face it, there are only 24 hours in a day and you have to work, see your family and friends, do your chores and errands. Usually, time spent swinging is time not spent dating. What I ultimately would like is to meet someone I have chemistry and compatibility with and swing as a couple. I'm not going to meet them while swinging with couples most likely. Of course, I'm not likely to meet them while hooking up for booty calls with my FBs either, maybe I need to rethink all of this.

I think I am in some transition phase in a lot of ways right now. I'm just hanging out and having fun until the right person comes along. Swinging is a part of it but not to the extent, time wise it was at one time. I like to think I am experienced enough at it by this time to choose quality over quanity and do it with adequate knowledge (read as bad experiences) to make good decisions about it.

[De and Ci]

We joined 11-10-2002

We were rank newbies we had been going to clubs for about 8 months, but hadn't swung yet. Our first experience was weird and I gave a detailed account of that incident "did we really swing?". Its still on this board, I also feel kinda sad as well, the male half of the other couple was later killed in a private airplane crash. In retrospect-I guess we got "into the swing of things" pretty easily. I guess we would now consider ourselves experienced. Several of our current buddies are couples we met in the lifestyle.
I guess we're different than many couples in that we've never gone out with the exclusive goal of hooking up with another couple. We don't do personal ads though we might in the future. We like to go to clubs sometimes with friends and other times by ourselves. We drink, dance and have a good time, if we meet another couple or couples and the mood is right-then sometimes it happens. Other times we just enjoy ourselves and we go home alone.

[LadyCleo]

I joined 6/17/03 as a newbie.

We were very involved in the local lifestyle groups (clubs etc) for about a year. Last October tho, we dropped out of the lifestyle. The local club that we went to closed it's doors. Life got in the way and fastforward to today...

We are not actively seeking partners. We are keeping in touch with old ones. Altho, we are not playing with any of them. And haven't since October of last year.

I cannot give a reason why we dropped out. There are no bad feelings or anything like that.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it... LOL

[good times]

join date = 07-23-2002

At the time we were just starting our research into the world of swinging. Shortly after that we made a bunch of rules and went to our first club.

Now we have been activly swinging for almost 3 years and have dropped most of our rules. Still learning though.

[Carol_Danny]

Joined: August 22nd, 2005

....and we've only had sex with others twice since then!!

Oh No! This site is ruining our Lifestyles Sex Life!!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Carol_Danny

Joined: August 22nd, 2005

....and we've only had sex with others twice since then!!

Oh No! This site is ruining our Lifestyles Sex Life!!

You really gotta work on that! LOL