What has happened to this happy site?

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-27-2002, 08:33 PM

GRRRRR.... I wish there was a way to easily put this whole thing to rest. Since there's not, lets try to work it out amicably (as I believe we have most all other disagreements on this board).

Some questions....

C@Y, you haven't posted again since you started this thread. Can you please provide some examples of what you were referring to in your initial post.

Quin, are you really saying you are leaving the board over this thread? If so, why? Since when does someone not liking the way you post get you so riled up? One thing that I think most people like about you is that you are willing to speak your mind regardless of whether or not others agree with your thoughts. While some may regard that as "too strong" of a personality. I believe that personalities (all types) are what make a great community. And that's really what this board is... a great community.

4Sum, in regards to the first paragraph of your post. If you let other people's opinions of your opinion count that much, then why have one. not trying to slam you here. But if you really have an opinion to share on other subjects, then share it. Don't let the fear of someone else disagreeing with you stop you from doing so. That goes for everyone.

CanadianCouple, Uriah has included his pics in his profile on Swing Lifestyle - <a href="http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com" target="_blank">http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com</a> , unfortunately he didn't include the headshot

If we all stopped posting because we feared someone else wouldn't like what we said then no one would post, and then what would the point of this place be?

The point of this site IS to share opinions and to give advice and to in general have a great community. Having a great community involves doing more than just focusing your attention on one topic (in this case swinging). But rather allowing ourselves to be more rounded and discuss other issues as well.

dave_susie2001 · 08-27-2002, 09:40 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

The point of this site IS to share opinions and to give advice and to in general have a great community. Having a great community involves doing more than just focusing your attention on one topic (in this case swinging). But rather allowing ourselves to be more rounded and discuss other issues as well.<hr /></blockquote>I stand behind you all the way on this opinion Julie.

"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here," But the reason that I like to come here and post opinions, offer advice, and read other opinions is this: I can't state the same opinions in my everyday life. Just like my "normal" friends and coworkers don't have the same outlook on life that I do.

We enjoy hanging out with our swing friends more than our straight friends. We don't have sex everytime we are with friends in the lifestyle. We enjoy thier company because we can be more open and be ourselves. And it's the same reason that we "hang out" here instead of some other forum.

Like the famous quote says, "I may not like what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your righ to say it." I have no issues with anyone here. IMHO, please everone continue to post what's on you mind. All I ask is that you use common sense and be at least semi polite. "But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

OhioCouple · 08-27-2002, 09:43 PM

I am going to try and keep this as brief as possible. This thread has caused more damage to this site than any other thread that I have ever read. I lurked for a long time before I signed up, digesting everything I could before getting the courage to join this board. Even then in the beginning I would not post. I will say tho, had it not been for this board for me to sound off to, seek advice and perhaps sometimes some solace, I am not sure where I would be today.

Certainly we have all disagreed at some point in our feelings or opinions, but it has always resolved itself by the end of the post and many gained a new respect for those whose opinions they opposed. Sometimes it has resulted in a differing opinion about what they believed in prior to the original post. (speaking only for myself)

Canadian Couple....you were right on target, I've witnessed it.

Lori

[ 08-27-2002, 09:50 PM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]

BradAndJanet · 08-27-2002, 09:44 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by OhioCouple:
I chose Julie's post to reply to as there are some very valid points here. If I am not mistaken Julie is the "2" member to be registered to this board in June of 2000. I registered in December of 2001, with a number of 1300 and something. Since I have registered, in a matter of eight months some 3400 more have registered. We are not even counting those who just come in and browse around or those who give a <just visiting> name so that they can make a post.

The popularity of this site has brought in a small handfull of people that have no business being here and a large number of people that do belong here. Unfortunately that small number can easily drive people away with their deception or ignorance. What you don't realize C@Y is that some of these people hiding behind ever changing screen names have driven and or almost driven even the most heartiest supporters in the swinging lifesyle away. They do it through their posts, PM's, AIM's and e-mails.

It upsets me, especially since I personally had to help convince another member of the board that they did indeed belong here and shouldn't feel intimidated by the slandering hurled at them by another, a couple of months ago.

Julie is right in the respect that everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt, as well should be. I for one tho am not going to sit back and let earnest people who are truly seeking advice or to give advice on this board be ran off by that small handfull of people. The benefits of their questions and insight outweigh the tolerance of the few.

Lori

[ 08-27-2002, 07:40 AM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]<hr /></blockquote>Nail, hammer, head. There has truly been an explosion, relatively speaking, of new members in the past few months. So, go Julie!

But, as the popularity grows and word gets around, it also attracts the attention of those who would come here just to cause trouble, or those who won't take the time to read first and post later. If you believe that there's a certain percentage of people in every population who act badly, then it follows that more people = more incidents. Maybe that's what you're seeing C@YWMI.

For the record, I don't believe that anyone has acted terribly out of line here. Criticism has been given in a direct, but civil manner and those involved have been given fair chances to clear their names. That's a far cry from most boards, where the response is more like, "F you, F your F'in mother, go away!"

When we first started posting this month, no one accused us of anything; in fact we were given a warm welcome by many people. I think that's because we took the time to read many, many posts to see what the culture of this board was before we said anything. If you just come blasting in from the cold and fire away, you will always run the risk of upsetting the 'regulars' on ANY board.

Finally, Quin, don't go. We like you and like what you have to say. Sure, you're fiesty sometimes, but if people would take the time to read ALL your posts, they'd see you're a pretty decent person. And those are hard to find.

Quin · 08-27-2002, 10:01 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Quin, are you really saying you are leaving the board over this thread? If so, why? Since when does someone not liking the way you post get you so riled up? One thing that I think most people like about you is that you are willing to speak your mind regardless of whether or not others agree with your thoughts. While some may regard that as "too strong" of a personality. I believe that personalities (all types) are what make a great community. And that's really what this board is... a great community.
<hr /></blockquote>At the risk of getting my hands cyber slapped again by 4sum in PM for using the quote option, I am quoting this particular post as it is directly a question for me and am not responding to the whole post, only this part of the post. Hence, the use of the quote option.

I offered to leave if I was being disruptive and I'll even go so far as to say here, tho I didn't say it earlier, if I'm adding to the disruption of the board. As for not posting at this particular time, I simply have no desire to and am only posting this because of the question asked specifically to me. Maybe a move to *lurk* mode is called for, maybe not, we'll see. Whenever the desire returns, I'm sure I'll be posting. I won't leave ya hanging on Big Brother! Especially the week you're gone.

I don't necessarily know that what really riled me up was some poster(s) not liking my posts or posting. I think the original post that started this thread is very unfair to those that post here regularly. I think and feel that this particular poster on this particular subject is wrong. I'm extremely glad that you asked him, publically, for specifics. I hope you get the specifics and I do hope it's public, but something in my gut tells me this just isn't going to happen. My gut has been wrong many times and will probably be wrong many times in the future and I hope it's wrong about this.

BTW, the only bumper sticker I have ever allowed on any car I have owned is on my van right now and it says, 'Everyone is entitled to MY opinion.' Kinda Quin-ish I think! <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" />

Quin

Quin · 08-27-2002, 10:09 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Finally, Quin, don't go. We like you and like what you have to say. Sure, you're fiesty sometimes, but if people would take the time to read ALL your posts, they'd see you're a pretty decent person. And those are hard to find. <hr /></blockquote>Why thank you, BradandJanet. I like you two also very much!! And I'm not even going to mention your using my saying, 'nail, hammer, head'. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> I've never heard anyone use it before but me!

Quin

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-27-2002, 11:18 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I offered to leave if I was being disruptive and I'll even go so far as to say here, tho I didn't say it earlier, if I'm adding to the disruption of the board. As for not posting at this particular time, I simply have no desire to and am only posting this because of the question asked specifically to me. Maybe a move to *lurk* mode is called for, maybe not, we'll see. Whenever the desire returns, I'm sure I'll be posting. I won't leave ya hanging on Big Brother! Especially the week you're gone. <hr /></blockquote>BB is the least of my worries. I will say publicly again what I said to you privately. I feel that you are a valuable member of this board and therefore should stay. Don't allow a few people's descending opinion to change your attitude here on this board. There are a few very active members of this board, and many more not quite as active members, and waaaaay more lurkers. That breakdown is normal for any message board. But without the really active folks the board would be a very quiet place. It is those active posters who draw the quiet ones out of the corners and give them reason to post.

If anyone holds back on their opinions for whatever reason, that is their choice and should not be blamed on other people. If you are scared of what others will think of your opinion, don't blame them. They had nothing to do with it. If you have an opinion, share it. If you don't want to share it, it's your choice and it's your fault, not someone else's.

BradAndJanet · 08-27-2002, 11:28 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Quin:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Finally, Quin, don't go. We like you and like what you have to say. Sure, you're fiesty sometimes, but if people would take the time to read ALL your posts, they'd see you're a pretty decent person. And those are hard to find. <hr /></blockquote>Why thank you, BradandJanet. I like you two also very much!! And I'm not even going to mention your using my saying, 'nail, hammer, head'. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> I've never heard anyone use it before but me!

Quin<hr /></blockquote>You know, I knew that I'd heard it before and liked it, but I didn't remember where <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" />

Thanks for loaning it to me, I'll now return it to it's rightful owner!

OhioCouple · 08-28-2002, 12:39 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Quin:
At the risk of getting my hands cyber slapped again by 4sum in PM for using the quote option, I am quoting this particular post as it is directly a question for me and am not responding to the whole post, only this part of the post. Hence, the use of the quote option.

I offered to leave if I was being disruptive and I'll even go so far as to say here, tho I didn't say it earlier, if I'm adding to the disruption of the board. As for not posting at this particular time, I simply have no desire to and am only posting this because of the question asked specifically to me. Maybe a move to *lurk* mode is called for, maybe not, we'll see. Whenever the desire returns, I'm sure I'll be posting. I won't leave ya hanging on Big Brother! Especially the week you're gone.

I don't necessarily know that what really riled me up was some poster(s) not liking my posts or posting. I think the original post that started this thread is very unfair to those that post here regularly. I think and feel that this particular poster on this particular subject is wrong. I'm extremely glad that you asked him, publically, for specifics. I hope you get the specifics and I do hope it's public, but something in my gut tells me this just isn't going to happen. My gut has been wrong many times and will probably be wrong many times in the future and I hope it's wrong about this.

BTW, the only bumper sticker I have ever allowed on any car I have owned is on my van right now and it says, 'Everyone is entitled to MY opinion.' Kinda Quin-ish I think! <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" />
<hr /></blockquote>Quin,

It is good to see you posting!

Didn't I hear you say five lines.... <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> Thank goodness this wasn't a history lesson, never was good in that subject, but then I am sure you will enlighten me over time. I think there is a subject awaiting you on St. Paul somewhere can't remember the thread.

Lori <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" />

4sum · 08-28-2002, 06:25 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />4Sum, in regards to the first paragraph of your post. If you let other people's opinions of your opinion count that much, then why have one. not trying to slam you here. But if you really have an opinion to share on other subjects, then share it. Don't let the fear of someone else disagreeing with you stop you from doing so. That goes for everyone. <hr /></blockquote>Julie,

It isn't that I let other peoples opinion of my opinion count that much, but I generally don't go looking for trouble, either. I don't intentionally try to create inflamatory situations. In general, I feel it's at my own discretion to post my opinion or not.

I feel that the main purpose of this board is to provide a resource for people, and thus we should try to be supportive of each other. There have been some situations in the past couple of months that while I may not have known what was going on behind the scenes, the appearance was one of exclusivity rather than inclusivity.

I've seen stuff like this unravel a group of people before, and just wanted to chime in in a cautionary way before we got too far down that slippery slope. I do feel that I've been singed a bit for that, and I feel that I've been taken out of context as well, and when that happens I feel that I need to defend myself and my opinion (delicate little thing that it is), and perhaps that's another reason that I don't post a lot. I don't want to get into a situation where I make a fairly innocuous comment and then spend the next few days defending myself.

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-28-2002, 01:17 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Other than Uriah, who are you referring to? I can't recall another recent incident where a newcomer has been hauled on the carpet for an apparent deception. <hr /></blockquote>Just wanted to clarify here that I wasn't referring to your skirmmish with Uriah here (I should have cleared this up earlier but didn't).

I was referring more to several others (including the one that that Quin mentioned, leftcoast9 and kspartycpl) who have only posted one or two times.

As for <A slut in DC> I consider her a drive-by as she has posted a handful of times but not registered. And as Quin said, her posts are usually on the level of slams rather than actual useful posts.

Uriah, has shown his true colors to some and I'm sure that if he keeps posting here he will eventually show his true colors to all. That's all I have to say about that.

08-28-2002, 01:38 PM

I would have to say this site is Very friendly. We've been lurking around for 2-3 months and have posted up a few questions that we've had about swinging and no ones attacked us for our ingnorance of this lifestyle or for any other reason.

Sure there's a little arguing, but it wouldn't be as fun if we all had the same opinions.

Although..... if you have a different opinion then me you must wrong!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

C@YWMI · 08-28-2002, 04:37 PM

Look guys @ gals this is what I mean if you read my first post. I had a concern about the well being of this forum. I'm not and will not point fingers at anybody. If somebody pisses me off I will tell them out right I'm not going to point fingers call names to me that is just childish. And nobody has to this point made me that mad. And now we have people speculating who the problem is or thinking they are the problem.

Ohio couple you are right this forum is not just about sex. I have learned alot about myself, and I have a better marriage because of this site and the advise that is freely given here good down to earth tried and true advise.

I'm what I call myself a blue collar professional I have most of my education thru hands on learning and life expierances. And I'm sure there more here like me . And it tends to be intimidating when you read post when other patrons are made fun of by there use of the english language. And quoting grammer rules that journalist would only use. That is why we have so many so called lurkers here. And the sad part of this is there are people that really could use your expierances and are just afraid to ask.
And this is the point I was trying to get across
I wasn't pointing finger at anybody. We all need to read carefully think what the post is saying then give our opinions or advise.

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-28-2002, 04:52 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> . And it tends to be intimidating when you read post when other patrons are made fun of by there use of the english language. And quoting grammer rules that journalist would only use. <hr /></blockquote>When has this happened? I have seen many people on here for whom English isn't even their first language and no one has said a word to them about improper grammer or spelling, etc. Nor have I seen it on those who's first language is English

The closest thing to that I've seen is people poking fun at their OWN spelling or other errors (specifically when we were discussing the "editing messages" issue).

Basically, you came in here and got things riled up with your post and now you refuse to even give some examples (we aren't asking you to put links to specific threads or to name names) of what you were referring to. You said if you had a problem with someone you would address it to them, yet you didn't do that. The same goes with this board, if you felt there was a problem here, why did you not address it to me?

No one can improve anything if they don't know what you are asking them to improve.

CanadianCouple · 08-28-2002, 06:50 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JustAskJulie:


CanadianCouple, Uriah has included his pics in his profile on Swing Lifestyle - <a href="http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com" target="_blank">http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com</a> , unfortunately he didn't include the headshot

<hr /></blockquote>Saw the site you included, thanks for posting it.

True story -- Some time ago Janette and I signed up for a membership with Swappernet. In fact, I believe that's where we ran across the URL for this board. Anyway, while looking through various ads, we came across one from a couple in Nova Scotia. For those of you, as Julie puts it, geographically challenged, Nova Scotia is an adjoining province to New Brunswick. Anyway, we wrote to them, since they weren't all that far away.

Their ad contained two pictures, one of each of them, but none of them together. Both pics had the heads cropped, the male's depicted a slim, athletic build, while the female's showed a woman laying in a bathtub. Again, no head, but an outstanding female figure.

We wrote to them, and received a short reply, not saying much about themselves except they have little experience. During the next couple of weeks, I made it a point to view as many couples ads as possible while our membership was still valid (and yes, being a man I concentrated on the ads with pictures). Well, lo and behold, after I clicked on a couple's ad from COLORADO, there's the very same picture of the woman in the tub!! Except this time, her face is clearly visible, and the picture was "flipped", or reversed from the one in Nova Scotia. But absolutely no doubt, the same picture. J and I even had both pics on the screen side by side for comparison. The Colorado ad included three other pictures, showing a couple more of her, all with her face showing. Janette and I had no doubt that THIS was the "real" woman in the ads, not our Canadian friends. I emailed both the Colorado couple and Swappernet support, and the Nova Scotia ad was gone the following day. We also received a very nice thank you email from the plagerized couple.

Moral of the story is -- on the internet, what seems to be, may not be after all.

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08-27-2002, 08:33 PM	#16 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	GRRRRR.... I wish there was a way to easily put this whole thing to rest. Since there's not, lets try to work it out amicably (as I believe we have most all other disagreements on this board). Some questions.... C@Y, you haven't posted again since you started this thread. Can you please provide some examples of what you were referring to in your initial post. Quin, are you really saying you are leaving the board over this thread? If so, why? Since when does someone not liking the way you post get you so riled up? One thing that I think most people like about you is that you are willing to speak your mind regardless of whether or not others agree with your thoughts. While some may regard that as "too strong" of a personality. I believe that personalities (all types) are what make a great community. And that's really what this board is... a great community. 4Sum, in regards to the first paragraph of your post. If you let other people's opinions of your opinion count that much, then why have one. not trying to slam you here. But if you really have an opinion to share on other subjects, then share it. Don't let the fear of someone else disagreeing with you stop you from doing so. That goes for everyone. CanadianCouple, Uriah has included his pics in his profile on Swing Lifestyle - <a href="http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com" target="_blank">http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com</a> , unfortunately he didn't include the headshot If we all stopped posting because we feared someone else wouldn't like what we said then no one would post, and then what would the point of this place be? The point of this site IS to share opinions and to give advice and to in general have a great community. Having a great community involves doing more than just focusing your attention on one topic (in this case swinging). But rather allowing ourselves to be more rounded and discuss other issues as well. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

08-27-2002, 09:40 PM	#17 (permalink)
dave_susie2001 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 284 Location: Michigan Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by JustAskJulie: <strong> The point of this site IS to share opinions and to give advice and to in general have a great community. Having a great community involves doing more than just focusing your attention on one topic (in this case swinging). But rather allowing ourselves to be more rounded and discuss other issues as well.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I stand behind you all the way on this opinion Julie. "Now I don't want to get off on a rant here," But the reason that I like to come here and post opinions, offer advice, and read other opinions is this: I can't state the same opinions in my everyday life. Just like my "normal" friends and coworkers don't have the same outlook on life that I do. We enjoy hanging out with our swing friends more than our straight friends. We don't have sex everytime we are with friends in the lifestyle. We enjoy thier company because we can be more open and be ourselves. And it's the same reason that we "hang out" here instead of some other forum. Like the famous quote says, "I may not like what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your righ to say it." I have no issues with anyone here. IMHO, please everone continue to post what's on you mind. All I ask is that you use common sense and be at least semi polite. "But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

08-27-2002, 09:43 PM	#18 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	I am going to try and keep this as brief as possible. This thread has caused more damage to this site than any other thread that I have ever read. I lurked for a long time before I signed up, digesting everything I could before getting the courage to join this board. Even then in the beginning I would not post. I will say tho, had it not been for this board for me to sound off to, seek advice and perhaps sometimes some solace, I am not sure where I would be today. Certainly we have all disagreed at some point in our feelings or opinions, but it has always resolved itself by the end of the post and many gained a new respect for those whose opinions they opposed. Sometimes it has resulted in a differing opinion about what they believed in prior to the original post. (speaking only for myself) Canadian Couple....you were right on target, I've witnessed it. Lori <small>[ 08-27-2002, 09:50 PM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]</small> __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

08-27-2002, 09:44 PM	#19 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by OhioCouple: <strong>I chose Julie's post to reply to as there are some very valid points here. If I am not mistaken Julie is the "2" member to be registered to this board in June of 2000. I registered in December of 2001, with a number of 1300 and something. Since I have registered, in a matter of eight months some 3400 more have registered. We are not even counting those who just come in and browse around or those who give a <just visiting> name so that they can make a post. The popularity of this site has brought in a small handfull of people that have no business being here and a large number of people that do belong here. Unfortunately that small number can easily drive people away with their deception or ignorance. What you don't realize C@Y is that some of these people hiding behind ever changing screen names have driven and or almost driven even the most heartiest supporters in the swinging lifesyle away. They do it through their posts, PM's, AIM's and e-mails. It upsets me, especially since I personally had to help convince another member of the board that they did indeed belong here and shouldn't feel intimidated by the slandering hurled at them by another, a couple of months ago. Julie is right in the respect that everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt, as well should be. I for one tho am not going to sit back and let earnest people who are truly seeking advice or to give advice on this board be ran off by that small handfull of people. The benefits of their questions and insight outweigh the tolerance of the few. Lori <small>[ 08-27-2002, 07:40 AM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]</small></strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Nail, hammer, head. There has truly been an explosion, relatively speaking, of new members in the past few months. So, go Julie! But, as the popularity grows and word gets around, it also attracts the attention of those who would come here just to cause trouble, or those who won't take the time to read first and post later. If you believe that there's a certain percentage of people in every population who act badly, then it follows that more people = more incidents. Maybe that's what you're seeing C@YWMI. For the record, I don't believe that anyone has acted terribly out of line here. Criticism has been given in a direct, but civil manner and those involved have been given fair chances to clear their names. That's a far cry from most boards, where the response is more like, "F you, F your F'in mother, go away!" When we first started posting this month, no one accused us of anything; in fact we were given a warm welcome by many people. I think that's because we took the time to read many, many posts to see what the culture of this board was before we said anything. If you just come blasting in from the cold and fire away, you will always run the risk of upsetting the 'regulars' on ANY board. Finally, Quin, don't go. We like you and like what you have to say. Sure, you're fiesty sometimes, but if people would take the time to read ALL your posts, they'd see you're a pretty decent person. And those are hard to find. __________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

08-27-2002, 10:01 PM	#20 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Quin, are you really saying you are leaving the board over this thread? If so, why? Since when does someone not liking the way you post get you so riled up? One thing that I think most people like about you is that you are willing to speak your mind regardless of whether or not others agree with your thoughts. While some may regard that as "too strong" of a personality. I believe that personalities (all types) are what make a great community. And that's really what this board is... a great community. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">At the risk of getting my hands cyber slapped again by 4sum in PM for using the quote option, I am quoting this particular post as it is directly a question for me and am not responding to the whole post, only this part of the post. Hence, the use of the quote option. I offered to leave if I was being disruptive and I'll even go so far as to say here, tho I didn't say it earlier, if I'm adding to the disruption of the board. As for not posting at this particular time, I simply have no desire to and am only posting this because of the question asked specifically to me. Maybe a move to lurk mode is called for, maybe not, we'll see. Whenever the desire returns, I'm sure I'll be posting. I won't leave ya hanging on Big Brother! Especially the week you're gone. I don't necessarily know that what really riled me up was some poster(s) not liking my posts or posting. I think the original post that started this thread is very unfair to those that post here regularly. I think and feel that this particular poster on this particular subject is wrong. I'm extremely glad that you asked him, publically, for specifics. I hope you get the specifics and I do hope it's public, but something in my gut tells me this just isn't going to happen. My gut has been wrong many times and will probably be wrong many times in the future and I hope it's wrong about this. BTW, the only bumper sticker I have ever allowed on any car I have owned is on my van right now and it says, 'Everyone is entitled to MY opinion.' Kinda Quin-ish I think! <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Quin __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

08-27-2002, 10:09 PM	#21 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Finally, Quin, don't go. We like you and like what you have to say. Sure, you're fiesty sometimes, but if people would take the time to read ALL your posts, they'd see you're a pretty decent person. And those are hard to find. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Why thank you, BradandJanet. I like you two also very much!! And I'm not even going to mention your using my saying, 'nail, hammer, head'. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> I've never heard anyone use it before but me! Quin __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

08-27-2002, 11:18 PM	#22 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> I offered to leave if I was being disruptive and I'll even go so far as to say here, tho I didn't say it earlier, if I'm adding to the disruption of the board. As for not posting at this particular time, I simply have no desire to and am only posting this because of the question asked specifically to me. Maybe a move to lurk mode is called for, maybe not, we'll see. Whenever the desire returns, I'm sure I'll be posting. I won't leave ya hanging on Big Brother! Especially the week you're gone. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">BB is the least of my worries. I will say publicly again what I said to you privately. I feel that you are a valuable member of this board and therefore should stay. Don't allow a few people's descending opinion to change your attitude here on this board. There are a few very active members of this board, and many more not quite as active members, and waaaaay more lurkers. That breakdown is normal for any message board. But without the really active folks the board would be a very quiet place. It is those active posters who draw the quiet ones out of the corners and give them reason to post. If anyone holds back on their opinions for whatever reason, that is their choice and should not be blamed on other people. If you are scared of what others will think of your opinion, don't blame them. They had nothing to do with it. If you have an opinion, share it. If you don't want to share it, it's your choice and it's your fault, not someone else's. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

08-27-2002, 11:28 PM	#23 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Quin: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Finally, Quin, don't go. We like you and like what you have to say. Sure, you're fiesty sometimes, but if people would take the time to read ALL your posts, they'd see you're a pretty decent person. And those are hard to find. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Why thank you, BradandJanet. I like you two also very much!! And I'm not even going to mention your using my saying, 'nail, hammer, head'. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> I've never heard anyone use it before but me! Quin</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You know, I knew that I'd heard it before and liked it, but I didn't remember where <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Thanks for loaning it to me, I'll now return it to it's rightful owner! __________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

08-28-2002, 12:39 AM	#24 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Quin: <strong>At the risk of getting my hands cyber slapped again by 4sum in PM for using the quote option, I am quoting this particular post as it is directly a question for me and am not responding to the whole post, only this part of the post. Hence, the use of the quote option. I offered to leave if I was being disruptive and I'll even go so far as to say here, tho I didn't say it earlier, if I'm adding to the disruption of the board. As for not posting at this particular time, I simply have no desire to and am only posting this because of the question asked specifically to me. Maybe a move to lurk mode is called for, maybe not, we'll see. Whenever the desire returns, I'm sure I'll be posting. I won't leave ya hanging on Big Brother! Especially the week you're gone. I don't necessarily know that what really riled me up was some poster(s) not liking my posts or posting. I think the original post that started this thread is very unfair to those that post here regularly. I think and feel that this particular poster on this particular subject is wrong. I'm extremely glad that you asked him, publically, for specifics. I hope you get the specifics and I do hope it's public, but something in my gut tells me this just isn't going to happen. My gut has been wrong many times and will probably be wrong many times in the future and I hope it's wrong about this. BTW, the only bumper sticker I have ever allowed on any car I have owned is on my van right now and it says, 'Everyone is entitled to MY opinion.' Kinda Quin-ish I think! <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Quin, It is good to see you posting! Didn't I hear you say five lines.... <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> Thank goodness this wasn't a history lesson, never was good in that subject, but then I am sure you will enlighten me over time. I think there is a subject awaiting you on St. Paul somewhere can't remember the thread. Lori <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" /> __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

08-28-2002, 06:25 AM	#25 (permalink)
4sum Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 92 Location: CT Status: Fourple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">4Sum, in regards to the first paragraph of your post. If you let other people's opinions of your opinion count that much, then why have one. not trying to slam you here. But if you really have an opinion to share on other subjects, then share it. Don't let the fear of someone else disagreeing with you stop you from doing so. That goes for everyone. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Julie, It isn't that I let other peoples opinion of my opinion count that much, but I generally don't go looking for trouble, either. I don't intentionally try to create inflamatory situations. In general, I feel it's at my own discretion to post my opinion or not. I feel that the main purpose of this board is to provide a resource for people, and thus we should try to be supportive of each other. There have been some situations in the past couple of months that while I may not have known what was going on behind the scenes, the appearance was one of exclusivity rather than inclusivity. I've seen stuff like this unravel a group of people before, and just wanted to chime in in a cautionary way before we got too far down that slippery slope. I do feel that I've been singed a bit for that, and I feel that I've been taken out of context as well, and when that happens I feel that I need to defend myself and my opinion (delicate little thing that it is), and perhaps that's another reason that I don't post a lot. I don't want to get into a situation where I make a fairly innocuous comment and then spend the next few days defending myself. __________________ Champagne for my true friends! And true pain for my sham friends! ~ Oscar Wilde

08-28-2002, 01:17 PM	#26 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Other than Uriah, who are you referring to? I can't recall another recent incident where a newcomer has been hauled on the carpet for an apparent deception. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Just wanted to clarify here that I wasn't referring to your skirmmish with Uriah here (I should have cleared this up earlier but didn't). I was referring more to several others (including the one that that Quin mentioned, leftcoast9 and kspartycpl) who have only posted one or two times. As for <A slut in DC> I consider her a drive-by as she has posted a handful of times but not registered. And as Quin said, her posts are usually on the level of slams rather than actual useful posts. Uriah, has shown his true colors to some and I'm sure that if he keeps posting here he will eventually show his true colors to all. That's all I have to say about that. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

08-28-2002, 01:38 PM	#27 (permalink)
everlast Posts: n/a	I would have to say this site is Very friendly. We've been lurking around for 2-3 months and have posted up a few questions that we've had about swinging and no ones attacked us for our ingnorance of this lifestyle or for any other reason. Sure there's a little arguing, but it wouldn't be as fun if we all had the same opinions. Although..... if you have a different opinion then me you must wrong!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

08-28-2002, 04:37 PM	#28 (permalink)
C@YWMI Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 224 Location: West Michigan Status: couple	Look guys @ gals this is what I mean if you read my first post. I had a concern about the well being of this forum. I'm not and will not point fingers at anybody. If somebody pisses me off I will tell them out right I'm not going to point fingers call names to me that is just childish. And nobody has to this point made me that mad. And now we have people speculating who the problem is or thinking they are the problem. Ohio couple you are right this forum is not just about sex. I have learned alot about myself, and I have a better marriage because of this site and the advise that is freely given here good down to earth tried and true advise. I'm what I call myself a blue collar professional I have most of my education thru hands on learning and life expierances. And I'm sure there more here like me . And it tends to be intimidating when you read post when other patrons are made fun of by there use of the english language. And quoting grammer rules that journalist would only use. That is why we have so many so called lurkers here. And the sad part of this is there are people that really could use your expierances and are just afraid to ask. And this is the point I was trying to get across I wasn't pointing finger at anybody. We all need to read carefully think what the post is saying then give our opinions or advise. __________________ Nothing fails like success. Gerald Nachman

08-28-2002, 04:52 PM	#29 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> . And it tends to be intimidating when you read post when other patrons are made fun of by there use of the english language. And quoting grammer rules that journalist would only use. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">When has this happened? I have seen many people on here for whom English isn't even their first language and no one has said a word to them about improper grammer or spelling, etc. Nor have I seen it on those who's first language is English The closest thing to that I've seen is people poking fun at their OWN spelling or other errors (specifically when we were discussing the "editing messages" issue). Basically, you came in here and got things riled up with your post and now you refuse to even give some examples (we aren't asking you to put links to specific threads or to name names) of what you were referring to. You said if you had a problem with someone you would address it to them, yet you didn't do that. The same goes with this board, if you felt there was a problem here, why did you not address it to me? No one can improve anything if they don't know what you are asking them to improve. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

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08-28-2002, 06:50 PM	#30 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by JustAskJulie: <strong> CanadianCouple, Uriah has included his pics in his profile on Swing Lifestyle - <a href="http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com" target="_blank">http://uriah.swinglifestyle.com</a> , unfortunately he didn't include the headshot </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Saw the site you included, thanks for posting it. True story -- Some time ago Janette and I signed up for a membership with Swappernet. In fact, I believe that's where we ran across the URL for this board. Anyway, while looking through various ads, we came across one from a couple in Nova Scotia. For those of you, as Julie puts it, geographically challenged, Nova Scotia is an adjoining province to New Brunswick. Anyway, we wrote to them, since they weren't all that far away. Their ad contained two pictures, one of each of them, but none of them together. Both pics had the heads cropped, the male's depicted a slim, athletic build, while the female's showed a woman laying in a bathtub. Again, no head, but an outstanding female figure. We wrote to them, and received a short reply, not saying much about themselves except they have little experience. During the next couple of weeks, I made it a point to view as many couples ads as possible while our membership was still valid (and yes, being a man I concentrated on the ads with pictures). Well, lo and behold, after I clicked on a couple's ad from COLORADO, there's the very same picture of the woman in the tub!! Except this time, her face is clearly visible, and the picture was "flipped", or reversed from the one in Nova Scotia. But absolutely no doubt, the same picture. J and I even had both pics on the screen side by side for comparison. The Colorado ad included three other pictures, showing a couple more of her, all with her face showing. Janette and I had no doubt that THIS was the "real" woman in the ads, not our Canadian friends. I emailed both the Colorado couple and Swappernet support, and the Nova Scotia ad was gone the following day. We also received a very nice thank you email from the plagerized couple. Moral of the story is -- on the internet, what seems to be, may not be after all.

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