How about that anonymity?!

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-12-2004, 08:29 PM

I'm curious to know how many here share this board with their swinging friends? From talking to a few people and some posts I have seen, it seems that most don't simply because they feel it will take away from their anonymity they have here to ask any question they might have or relay any particular situation they may encounter.

Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?

09-12-2004, 08:40 PM

Quote:

From talking to a few people and some posts I have seen, it seems that most don't simply because they feel it will take away from their anonymity they have here to ask any question they might have or relay any particular situation they may encounter.

Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?

We use to have our SLS link in our profile but took it out. We do like the anonymity. We have met a couple thru this board before and it did not turn out good and we got virtualy stalked by them. They thought EVERY post we put in that had ANYTHING negative about it was about them. Even if we were talking about things that had nothing to do with the time we spent with them. It was not fun.

On the other side,some people on this board do "Know" us in a virtual sense and we plan on meeting a few if we can get our schedules together but as a whole we like remaining in the shadows.

**LikeMinds321** · 09-12-2004, 09:14 PM

Anonymity is important to me.

I won't mention the board to my swinger friends, unless they are people who I would never swing with. Even then, I would not reveal my User Name.

I want to feel I can ask the boards advice on anything. I want to share my concerns about the lifestyle. If my playmates can follow my posts it would jeopardize my freedom of speech - I'm sounding political and I hate politics.

It could also cause problems with my playmates, as Mr&Mrs Naughty stated.

I use a different handle on all of our swinger ad sites to help maintain anonymity.

LM

DBL D · 09-12-2004, 10:08 PM

Hi Julie (& Mr. & Mrs. Naughty too!)

Fair Question. We do value our anonimity but if you're gonna be in the lifestyle AND be on a board with your SLS link listed then you should expect to lose some of that. So far, we haven't had a problem that we know of and frankly, I don't (really) give a damn. Being in the lifestyle means you will probably be taking chances here and there just by where you meet people and whom one may run into during the meeting. We are willing to take that chance for the thrill of it sometimes. (Some of you may have heard about the foot in my crotch story. A little TOO much thrill there!)

I know what you mean, Mrs. Naughty, about the stalking thing. Hopefully some of these people will realize that the board just dispenses information on what it's all about. Then, and only then, will they have a chance to recognize their behavior flaws.

Most of the time we are pretty careful. By that I mean how we relate to people we know in the vanilla world. We've always tried to live an honest life and we don't want to have to compromise that for some adult fun; So...With Swingers, we are much more open to exposing ourselves.

(So, Uh, Julie? I'll be in touch about changing our user name!

?)

Male D

**LikeMinds321** · 09-12-2004, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?

I realized I hadn't addressed these questions in my first post.

No, I don't worry about others I swing with finding me here. If it happens, it happens, but I've taken precautions to avoid this.

I also will do my best to post in a way that would not offend them if they were to find out. That could be a challenge, but I'm not going to worry about it.

LM

jim&carol · 09-12-2004, 11:12 PM

Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?[/quote]

I used to irc quite a bit. The freedom of anonymity disappears as soon as you become intimate with someone "in the group". And yet, it is the "un-protected" comments that are so appealing and attracts me to others.... The old "Just tell me what you really think" thing that is so difficult in "real life" and yet the norm here.

**TNT** · 09-12-2004, 11:41 PM

We actually do recommend the board to our swinger friends, some have come here to look around and some have came and stayed and some have never taken the time to visit at all. So we don't really worry about our anonymity.

TNT

biblonde · 09-12-2004, 11:57 PM

we dont tell people that we are on this board and we have different names on all sites we are on. I kinda got stocked by someone from sls so I feel it is better if they dont know I am here! Although I have given my sls ID to some on this site and I am not worried about those that I have given it to. It is rare that I let anyone know from site to site who we are. But I am trusting those I did tell...lol lol

anyway that is my 2 cents for the day!

WesternSwing · 09-13-2004, 09:17 AM

Really good question since this has come up recently with us (if you're reading this you know who you are

)

A couple contacted us realizing we were local. We have since met them and they are super people.

Our SLS link is not on our profile, but they put it together between SLS and Swingersboard by the "online now" status.

Which brings up another question, how does SLS know I'm online if I'm not logged into the website??? Cookies? I can't remember an occasion I've been on both at the same time.

However it does make you think about what you would post because you know they are going to read it. It takes away a bit of the safety net of being anonymous. I think that if any situation ever arose that I'd be uncomfortable with them knowing about I'd just create a new user ID so I could do it anonymously (that and change my writing style

). BUT, I think the shear fact that they were here looking for answers and sharing opinions says something good about these people (plus the fact they thought enough of my posts to make them want to meet us). Maybe it's that they take this whole thing seriously in regards to their relationship, and that is comforting for our relationship. I can't quite put my finger on it yet, but when I do I'll let you know.

Mr. WS

ALilOEverything · 09-13-2004, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I'm curious to know how many here share this board with their swinging friends? From talking to a few people and some posts I have seen, it seems that most don't simply because they feel it will take away from their anonymity they have here to ask any question they might have or relay any particular situation they may encounter.

Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?

I mention that I post on a forum about swinging but I've never given the link and they've never asked. I do wonder if anyone will find me here and I'm just usually careful about what I post. I did post once about my worst experience and if they read that they would know who I was I'm sure and that's okay, maybe he'd learn something from it

As a general rule I'm very positive about swinging and our experiences so hopefully if they did think a post was about them they would find it a compliment. If I had a real issue (for situational help) that I wouldn't wany any our our swinging friends to find out about I would probably post anonymously.

**LikeMinds321** · 09-13-2004, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

. . . I do wonder if anyone will find me here and I'm just usually careful about what I post. I did post once about my worst experience and if they read that they would know who I was I'm sure and that's okay, maybe he'd learn something from it

As a general rule I'm very positive about swinging and our experiences so hopefully if they did think a post was about them they would find it a compliment. If I had a real issue (for situational help) that I wouldn't wany any our our swinging friends to find out about I would probably post anonymously.

I haven't posted about a bad experience, but I'm sure there will be a time in the future to relay one.

ALilOEverything, you've said what I could have said as well...I hope whatever I would post would either compliment people I've met or would help them learn from the not-so-good experience I've shared.

If I really have a doozy of a situation I need help with, I'll consider posting anonymously.

LM

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-13-2004, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Which brings up another question, how does SLS know I'm online if I'm not logged into the website??? Cookies? I can't remember an occasion I've been on both at the same time.

I would imagine they have the same setup we do here, which is cookies. Typically the cookies are set up so that if you don't actually Log Out that it continues to show you as logged in for X minutes (on this site X=15) of inactivity.

Dave_kat · 09-13-2004, 12:40 PM

Gosh, back to our strange actions. For the most part we for some reason don't emd up meeting people from online, we tend to meet them from open-minded (read gay) clubs where we go. Either that or Swing Clubs. Very few we meet are actually online. But still, with the exception of trying to get help with a specific instance, we do our best to keep our business to ourselves. If someone came online and saw what we have written, it won't as well have been something we haven't told them in person.

**good times** · 09-13-2004, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I'm curious to know how many here share this board with their swinging friends?

We have told a few people about it but I don't know of any that actually followed that up by coming here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here?

Not much, I have had instances were I modified a story slightly in case the person I was referring to should happen to read it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?

I wouldn't say I worry about it, we don't name names after all, but it has crossed my mind. It's funny, I'm less worried they might figure out it is them, than I am that they will find out what my inner thoughts were at the time. Sometimes things that cross your mind about an experiance could be hurtfull or missunderstood if the party you were thinking about knew what you were thinking.

misterbates · 09-13-2004, 03:53 PM

I enjoy being anonymous on this board..even though it goes against my nature..LOL!!!

We have been in the lifestyle a long time and there are people on here we know personally..so in that respect i like the fact that i can speak my mind without having to worry about getting in a pissing contest with someone when you see them in the real world....

Mr B facelick

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09-12-2004, 08:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	How about that anonymity?! I'm curious to know how many here share this board with their swinging friends? From talking to a few people and some posts I have seen, it seems that most don't simply because they feel it will take away from their anonymity they have here to ask any question they might have or relay any particular situation they may encounter. Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?

09-12-2004, 09:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Let's get comfortable... Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,547 Location: On the couch Status: Married to Mr LM	Re: How about that anonymity?! Anonymity is important to me. I won't mention the board to my swinger friends, unless they are people who I would never swing with. Even then, I would not reveal my User Name. I want to feel I can ask the boards advice on anything. I want to share my concerns about the lifestyle. If my playmates can follow my posts it would jeopardize my freedom of speech - I'm sounding political and I hate politics. It could also cause problems with my playmates, as Mr&Mrs Naughty stated. I use a different handle on all of our swinger ad sites to help maintain anonymity. LM

09-12-2004, 10:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
DBL D Oh...Why not?... Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,312 Location: Northern Call-ee-forn-ee-ah Status: Married Couple	How [B]About[/B] that anonymity?! Hi Julie (& Mr. & Mrs. Naughty too!) Fair Question. We do value our anonimity but if you're gonna be in the lifestyle AND be on a board with your SLS link listed then you should expect to lose some of that. So far, we haven't had a problem that we know of and frankly, I don't (really) give a damn. Being in the lifestyle means you will probably be taking chances here and there just by where you meet people and whom one may run into during the meeting. We are willing to take that chance for the thrill of it sometimes. (Some of you may have heard about the foot in my crotch story. A little TOO much thrill there!) I know what you mean, Mrs. Naughty, about the stalking thing. Hopefully some of these people will realize that the board just dispenses information on what it's all about. Then, and only then, will they have a chance to recognize their behavior flaws. Most of the time we are pretty careful. By that I mean how we relate to people we know in the vanilla world. We've always tried to live an honest life and we don't want to have to compromise that for some adult fun; So...With Swingers, we are much more open to exposing ourselves. (So, Uh, Julie? I'll be in touch about changing our user name! ?) Male D __________________ "Just nod if you can hear me..." David Gilmour

09-12-2004, 11:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
jim&carol Registered Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Northern Colorado Status: M. Male	Re: How about that anonymity?! Do you worry about others you swing with finding you here? Do you worry that someone might put two and two together and realize that the person you described in a post was them?[/quote] I used to irc quite a bit. The freedom of anonymity disappears as soon as you become intimate with someone "in the group". And yet, it is the "un-protected" comments that are so appealing and attracts me to others.... The old "Just tell me what you really think" thing that is so difficult in "real life" and yet the norm here.

09-12-2004, 11:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,195 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple SLS Name:tblonde312 Blog Entries: 31	Re: How about that anonymity?! We actually do recommend the board to our swinger friends, some have come here to look around and some have came and stayed and some have never taken the time to visit at all. So we don't really worry about our anonymity. TNT __________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

09-12-2004, 11:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
biblonde Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,020 Location: sacramento Status: couple SLS Name:curious1918	Re: How about that anonymity?! we dont tell people that we are on this board and we have different names on all sites we are on. I kinda got stocked by someone from sls so I feel it is better if they dont know I am here! Although I have given my sls ID to some on this site and I am not worried about those that I have given it to. It is rare that I let anyone know from site to site who we are. But I am trusting those I did tell...lol lol anyway that is my 2 cents for the day!

09-13-2004, 09:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,824 Location: Utah Status: Male half of married couple	Re: How about that anonymity?! Really good question since this has come up recently with us (if you're reading this you know who you are ) A couple contacted us realizing we were local. We have since met them and they are super people. Our SLS link is not on our profile, but they put it together between SLS and Swingersboard by the "online now" status. Which brings up another question, how does SLS know I'm online if I'm not logged into the website??? Cookies? I can't remember an occasion I've been on both at the same time. However it does make you think about what you would post because you know they are going to read it. It takes away a bit of the safety net of being anonymous. I think that if any situation ever arose that I'd be uncomfortable with them knowing about I'd just create a new user ID so I could do it anonymously (that and change my writing style ). BUT, I think the shear fact that they were here looking for answers and sharing opinions says something good about these people (plus the fact they thought enough of my posts to make them want to meet us). Maybe it's that they take this whole thing seriously in regards to their relationship, and that is comforting for our relationship. I can't quite put my finger on it yet, but when I do I'll let you know. Mr. WS __________________ "God created sex. Priests created marriage." ~ Voltaire

09-13-2004, 12:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
Dave_kat Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 181 Location: Savannah, Ga Status: couple SLS Name:Dave_kat	Re: How about that anonymity?! Gosh, back to our strange actions. For the most part we for some reason don't emd up meeting people from online, we tend to meet them from open-minded (read gay) clubs where we go. Either that or Swing Clubs. Very few we meet are actually online. But still, with the exception of trying to get help with a specific instance, we do our best to keep our business to ourselves. If someone came online and saw what we have written, it won't as well have been something we haven't told them in person. __________________ Reality is based on perception, therefore everyone has their own reality.

09-13-2004, 03:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
misterbates Here to Stay Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 87 Location: State of Confusion Status: M/Couple	Re: How about that anonymity?! I enjoy being anonymous on this board..even though it goes against my nature..LOL!!! We have been in the lifestyle a long time and there are people on here we know personally..so in that respect i like the fact that i can speak my mind without having to worry about getting in a pissing contest with someone when you see them in the real world.... Mr B facelick

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