Couple... Uh... I mean... Single...

[Spoomonkey]

Here's another patently stupid question:

Would anyone like to swing with me, even though my wife isn't into this yet? I mean, we ARE are couple, but I am just playing single...

Does anyone else run into this???

We get it all the time from "couples" who are really just some guy wanting to play while his "wife" finds her way to the lifestyle. It drives us bonkers...

We enjoy the occassional single guy and even seek them out from time to time. Mrs Spoomonkey really likes the attention. We would never play with a married guy who is cheating on his wife, but respect the fact that they are at least honest about that up front so we don't have to be unwittingly dragged into their personal drama.

But what is often beneath contempt for us is the guy who says he's part of a couple - posts an ad as a couple - even puts up pics of his wife (which, if she is not involved in the lifestyle is just as creepy as putting up your kids pics) - but then proceeds to tell us why he is playing alone...

Come on guys!

Either (a) you are a single guy who knows that the competition is fierce so you think you've found a way to cheat the system or (b) you're a married guy who is using an unsuspecting wife as bait. Either way, you start out with the huge mark against you: liar. That's tough to over come. No matter how witty and wonderful you are in your correspondence, you will never get over the stigma of being insincere and untrustworthy. In a lifestyle based on trust, this is faux pas of the most ignorant kind...

Anyway - just wanted to vent...

Perhaps it will help some desperate single guy see the light and try a little honesty in his approach. The honest guys out there are winning

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

Is that something like, play with me while we figure out how to convince my wife that she wants to join?

[biblonde]

We have ran into this more than once. And it is sooooo annoying! Or the ones that say wife doesnt care if i sleep around, which i rarely believe. We dont really want to play with single guys but even more against Married ones trying to cheat or those that are trying to force the woman into the lifestyle. The other one that is a real turn off is saying they are a married couple then after talking to them for a while finding out that they are both married but not to each other. Those get me worse than anything because not only are they cheating with each other but want to pull others into that game. And boy do I let them know about that! lol

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Either (a) you are a single guy who knows that the competition is fierce so you think you've found a way to cheat the system or (b) you're a married guy who is using an unsuspecting wife as bait.

We think you pretty much nailed it! Although there may be some married men out there who play solo with the consent of their wives, we guess that would be the exception rather than the rule. One way to verify this would be to meet both of them (at the same time), but we doubt it would be worth the effort.

[good times]

This one gets us too. We have run into all of these, in fact just a couple of weeks ago we ran into one of the "we are maried but not to each other" ones. It is interesting to see here that this isn't as unusual as I thought it was at the time.

The one that surprised me most though was the guy who posted pictures of his "Wife" but later turned out he didn't have one, seems the girl in the pictures was his imaginary wife. How he figured this would work I have no idea. I had a good laugh picturing the guy showing up to the meet with his imaginary wife in his brief case ready to be blown up later.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by biblonde

The other one that is a real turn off is saying they are a married couple then after talking to them for a while finding out that they are both married but not to each other.

We haven't run into this yet, but I am sure we'd feel the same... On the other hand - at least HE has a woman... Better than Mr Good Times "briefcase bride" That killed me...

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Greg & Sheryl

One way to verify this would be to meet both of them (at the same time), but we doubt it would be worth the effort.

Exactly! I mean why jump through hoops and drama when there are plenty of decent single guys out there... Okay... Maybe not "plenty", but you know what I mean.

Spoomonkey

[LikeMinds321]

And what about those men who write from a "couples" profile and say,

"We live in other states but she'll be in town in two weeks. We'd like to get together with you then."

or

"I swing alone. My wife can't know about this. Discretion is a must."

I found one guy who was on two swinger sites. He was single on one and married on the other.

LM

[jcbicouple]

Kind of funny: This is our reply to a guy that we received a message from on Swing Lifestyle yesterday. Sorry, Not into meeting half of a couple or individuals that are posing as a couple. We aren't sure which one of those categories you fall into, but your e mail reads as a single male and your profile says you are a couple even though it reads as though you are a single.
We usually just send one that says: "Sorry, Not interested in playing with half of a couple" or if we are in a crappy mood and tired of the people that don't read as well as they write, we reply with a "Not sure if you noticed but our ad/profile clearly states that we aren't interested in half of a couple"

[frenzb4sex]

Originally Posted by biblonde

We have ran into this more than once. And it is sooooo annoying! Or the ones that say wife doesnt care if i sleep around, which i rarely believe. We dont really want to play with single guys but even more against Married ones trying to cheat or those that are trying to force the woman into the lifestyle. The other one that is a real turn off is saying they are a married couple then after talking to them for a while finding out that they are both married but not to each other. Those get me worse than anything because not only are they cheating with each other but want to pull others into that game. And boy do I let them know about that! lol

This is kind of like the line from Johnny Dangerously.."My sister kicked me in the balls once......ONCE!"

This happened to us, and we were totally taken, until during a conversation we were having that she slipped and said that she enjoyed being married for 5 years, when in fact they told us they had been together about a year...After some gumshoe work, we got to the bottom of it. I think that the combination of two "cheating" people is deadly for not only themselves, but the people playing with them....knowingly or unknowingly.

Tim

[EternallySingle]

Here's a twist I ran into. I wrote to a woman who was listed as single since she lived in a nearby town. Got the "must be discreet because of family" line, and I was like "another married woman. How come couples don't meet them online?" Well, I went to her town for a totally unrelated reason (needed sealer for a handicap ramp) and saw her with three really cute kids between 2 and 5, and a man the hardware store clerk called her husband. They even invited him to a cookout. Then she saw me and blushed. He said "another one of your pals from the chatroom?" He didn't look happy when he said it.

Well, these things only happen to me so...

[TNT]

ES honey, I swear your luck with these things just kills me ...if you ever make it down to Florida, please look us up...we have to get together and discuss your adventures in more depth (possibly taping them for an HBO comedy special) . Between a woman jumping out of your car, one calling the cops on you and this one...you have the worst luck...come visit us and lets see if we can change it to the good.

Teresa

[EternallySingle]

Oh, I didn't tell you about the woman who tried to bean me with a baseball bat because she saw me talking to my cousin, who happens to be extremely attractive? Or the woman who just...

I have a million of them, hence my screen name. But thats what happens when you lower your standards. Oh, well.