How do I cheat on my wife and make sure I don't bring any STDs home?

[jpm2267]

I am a married 42 yo male going to Las Vegas on my own next week. I've been married for 20 years to a woman I love dearly but unfortunately her sex drive is quite low. I am thinking about going to the Green Door or a similar club while in Vegas. I want to have fun but do not want to risk my health or bring something back to the one I love. Any advice?

[JustAskJulie]

STD's should be the least of your concerns. Swinging isn't cheating. If you go and cheat on your wife and get an STD then you got what you deserve. Is it really what your wife deserves?

[SluttyWife]

Why don't you take wife-y over to Vegas and see if the excitement of it all makes the trip more of a mood maker for her?

This is The Swingers Board not Philanderers International.

Slutty Wife

[Spoomonkey]

Why is it always "her sex drive is low"? No men ever come here and say - I am considering stepping out because I can't ever remember flowers on special days or to do the little chores around the house that makes my wife go ga-ga...

The best way to stay safe at any swing club is to do the following:

1. Open your wife's car door the next time you guys go somewhere together.

2. Make that next place you go the grocery store... And insist on pushing the cart...

3. Grab a bag of her favorite candy as you walk by it...

4. Toss it in the cart and smile at her...

5. Repeat the action above with a bottle of wine...

6. Open her car door before you - yes, you by your big-boy self - load the groceries...

7. Carry the groceries in...

8. Help her make dinner while you both share the wine... And if you're not a cook, put the groceries away...

9. Light a candle when she says soup's on... No real reason... Just do it... It's cheesy but it works - the same as it did when you still did silly shit for her without having someone on a swing board tell you to...

10. Make HER dessert... Go down on her in the stairway before you even get to the room...

11. Talk to her after sex - and maybe even laugh a little... And if you really, really want to go to sleep right after sex, just get it up a second time... She likely won't mind then...

12. Repeat this process until you two are happy, horny and talking again...

13. Then - take Slutty Wife's expert advice and take your wife to Vegas...

14. Use condoms...

It's as simple as that! I've done this myself and have stayed disease free... Well - I do have high cholesterol, but safe sex has kept that from my play partners

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

Great post Spoo....

I get so sick of reading guys thinking they can go out and cheat on their wives and using the excuse of her not wanting sex.

If she doesn't want sex then chances are good that is only a small symptom of much bigger problems and maybe JUST MAYBE if you spent half as much time trying to talk to her and LISTEN and find out what those problems in your marriage ... oh yeah ... AND WORKING TO FIX THOSE PROBLEMS as you do trying to find ways to get her to have sex with you (or worse trying to figure out how to cheat on her)... then maybe just maybe.. the lack of sex would go away.

[Botcpl]

Originally posted by Spoomonkey
I do have high cholesterol, but safe sex has kept that from my play partners

Spoomonkey

You mean if I had used condoms I wouldn't have needed Liptor?

Wait a minute....

[Spoomonkey]

Botcpl

No... If you used condoms, your partner wouldn't need lipitor...

Of course - I am obviously not a doctor...

But - don't give up on statin drugs yet, rumor has it they help men get stronger erections... viva la lipitor!

Spoomonkey

PS Dito to Julie...

[GirlieZ]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Botcpl

No... If you used condoms, your partner wouldn't need lipitor...

Of course - I am obviously not a doctor...

But - don't give up on statin drugs yet, rumor has it they help men get stronger erections... viva la lipitor!

Spoomonkey

PS Dito to Julie...

Hey...statins help men get stronger erections??? I'm gonna get out the eggs and bacon.

Zgirl

[pairbond]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

If she doesn't want sex then chances are good that is only a small symptom of much bigger problems and maybe JUST MAYBE if you spent half as much time trying to talk to her and LISTEN and find out what those problems in your marriage ... oh yeah ... AND WORKING TO FIX THOSE PROBLEMS as you do trying to find ways to get her to have sex with you (or worse trying to figure out how to cheat on her)... then maybe just maybe.. the lack of sex would go away.

You know, it occurs to me that you folks are making assumptions about jpm2267 and his relationship with his wife that might be unfounded. I don't think we know enough about him or his wife to just assume that her "lack of interest" is anything more than that. You COULD be right, and it might be due to her discontent with their relationship, but none of us KNOWS that!

After some of the things we've seen on this Board just this past week where people began bashing someone unfairly, I think we should all think twice before posting anything demeaning or critical of a situation we just don't know enough about to be making such harsh judgements.

And now I'll get down from my soapbox.

pairbond

[GirlieZ]

JPM, I need more information. When you say her sex drive is low~~how low is it? Is there a medical reason why it is so low? Is it simply because she doesn't enjoy sex.

Does she know that you are going to the Green Door? What would her reaction be if she didn't know that and found out?


Zgirl

[JustAskJulie]

Pairbond, take it as you will but ifyou read the initial post this is a thread started by a married male asking about cheating on his wife. That too me is a big sign that there is a problem in their relationship. This is a swingers board, not a cheaters board, we don't look too kindly to the cheaters here, as you will find.

[Brit_Pair]

A couple of things:

• I don't think it's likely that we'll be getting anymore details from JPM, since this was his one and only post on the board, and he hasn't logged on since 11 March 2004.
• Up to GirlieZ'S first post on this thread, all of the comments passed were made more than two months ago; so using them in the context of promoting greater board hamony in the face of recent events (a worthy enough intent) is neither that helpful or relevant.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by pairbond

After some of the things we've seen on this Board just this past week where people began bashing someone unfairly, I think we should all think twice before posting anything demeaning or critical of a situation we just don't know enough about to be making such harsh judgements.

This was posted quite a while before this week, but I stand by it, even in light of the recent "issues".

If you are in it to cheat - you shouldn't be in it. Stepping out is far easier than dealing with your problems at home. Men who choose to do that will find - and deserve to find - very little respect on this board. I am not sure that I see the tie in between this thread and the one to which you are possibly referring - but being straight up when people say that they are planning on cheating saves us a hell of a lot of time later. Be a man, be a husband and then (maybe) be a swinger. That's a pattern I strongly believe in.

Spoomonkey

[GirlieZ]

Dito
Amen to that. When I post, I don't really pay attention to the dates. I guess I should from now on.

Zgirl

[pairbond]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

If you are in it to cheat - you shouldn't be in it. Stepping out is far easier than dealing with your problems at home. Men who choose to do that will find - and deserve to find - very little respect on this board. I am not sure that I see the tie in between this thread and the one to which you are possibly referring - but being straight up when people say that they are planning on cheating saves us a hell of a lot of time later. Be a man, be a husband and then (maybe) be a swinger. That's a pattern I strongly believe in.Spoomonkey

Spoo, we most certainly don't condone cheating, which we define as doing anything behind the other's back and without their knowledge and "permission." But I was NOT referring to the cheating implied in his post. I was referring to the fact that suddenly responders started jumping to conclusions about his wife's "lack of interest" and blaming it on him. That could be true, but there is not a shred of evidence in his posting to back that up. Again, I certainly don't condone cheating, but neither do I condone creating a straw man out of thin air and then beating it for all it's worth.

And while cheaters may not and should not get a warm reception on this Board, that does not justify beating them up over issues OTHER THAN cheating, especially when those OTHER issues are a figment of our own imaginations.

If we're going to bash people in here, let's stick to the known facts. We can criticize him for the cheating issue, but that certainly doesn't entitle us to criticize him for the condition of his marriage without knowing anything about it.

It's even POSSIBLE that he tried all those things you listed in your post - to no avail. That doesn't justify cheating - he should deal with what's wrong that's causing his wife to have no interest, and marriage counseling may be needed, and if that doesn't work, he should (in our opinion) have the courage to end his marriage and move on instead of cheating.

But that STILL doesn't mean he hasn't tried all those things you listed. I'm not defending him, because I don't know any more about his and his wife's situation than you do. But I won't bash, either, BECAUSE I don't know the situation.

pairbond