Playing with cheaters

[Bama0468]

We had a cheater pose as a single male (succesfuly I might add) and the result was horendous, His house of cards fell when his Wife found out and called mine, all I can say is what a mess, so its married, Commited, and all parties in the know only for us now

[RandyKris]

My initial response is also Wont play with cheaters...

I have read the responses to this poll and am surprised at the number of people that can make a distinction. You are either in a relationship with someone or not. If you are and they don't know what you are doing you are cheating, and that goes against everything I know and believe of swinging. I hope I'm not insulting anyone - don't mean to.

The short of it is....no cheaters

[n2ez]

Originally Posted by RandyKris

My initial response is also Wont play with cheaters...

I have read the responses to this poll and am surprised at the number of people that can make a distinction. You are either in a relationship with someone or not. If you are and they don't know what you are doing you are cheating, and that goes against everything I know and believe of swinging. I hope I'm not insulting anyone - don't mean to.

The short of it is....no cheaters

Pleaseeeeeeeeee, you guys are trying to tell me that you would turn a cute little unicorn down if she was married and playing solo??? hmmmmm I guess married and having an affair applies only to men also? in the real world kids my guess is most married women playing solo would be more then welcome to most couples, but then again the double standard applies here as most married men might not be as accepted...guess I am lucky as the couple I play with want a married guy not some single bed hopper..hmmmmm go figure

[havefuninsun]

If only live were so simple that we could say, "I'm not happy. I choose to walk away."

Imagine this scenario. A woman, in her early late 30's/early 40's, who is the primary care giver of her ill live-in mother-in-law. She and her husband have decided that she should give up her nursing career to be the full-time care giver of his mother. They move mom in with them and their kids. She and her husband rarely have sex; he works all the time, which in turn, makes her feel guilty because she's not pulling her weight financially (which, we all know is bogus; she's taking care of her mother-in-law). So, her and her husband have a strained relationship, and are having trouble communicating through it. But both she and her husband feel that they have made the right decision regarding their family. She feels good being able to take care of her kids and her mother-in-law.

We can even make this scenario more simple ... imagine the everyday stay at home mom, the mom who is totally committed to raising her kids, and she and her husband put the needs of the kids in front of their own. Break up the family? They wouldn't dream of it.

(How many of us have BEEN in that situation? How many of us have stayed in marriage #1 for the kids' sake? Simply walk away? Ain't that simple).

She hungers for the touch of someone who desires her. She wants no strings; she doesn't want to be saved from her situation. She is committed to staying with her family and has never even thought of breaking it up. But she would love a lover who she could see occasionally, just for the passion that the rest of us here, understand.

Does this make her a bad person?

Does this make her a great unicorn?

Discretion is paramount. In my view, she'd be better off with a lifestyle couple who understands what she wants and needs. She's not wanting to replace any ONE in her relationship; she's looking to fulfill sexual desires.

My guess is that there are a lot of women like this in the lifestyle, either posing as singles or simply out with their story. Do I blame them? Not one bit. I can't imagine life without the wonderful sex life I have. I love my home sex life; I love my playtime. I love my husband for giving me all of that.

Life is too short. We'd have to think long and hard to have a relationship with someone like the above, as there are a lot of risks here (as Thrax said in one of his posts, he doesn't want a gun to his head). But would we begrudge her for wanting passion, not a chance. And I'm not going to judge couples who CHOOSE to play with her, either.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by n2ez

Pleaseeeeeeeeee, you guys are trying to tell me that you would turn a cute little unicorn down if she was married and playing solo??? In the real world kids my guess is most married women playing solo would be more then welcome to most couples.

We've heard many people make this assertion, but only in a hypothetical context. Frankly, we've never seen a real-life example of this double standard, nor have we heard of it second-hand from people we know. We are not suggesting that it never happens, but it must be a rare event, especially when you consider how rare the unicorn is, whatever her marital status may be.

[Bama0468]

Well I was going to quote the same one Gregg and Sheryl did, and say the same thing, and here is another part. Those of us who say no we would not, mean we would not KNOWINGLY do it, it has happened to us as we were lied to. So what you have to figure is those LONELY people you all are refering to CAN get caught by the spouse and then its a nightmare for the LS couple.
We have had them lie and say it was ok with the spouse ( wehen we were less experienced and more nieve and believed everyone you met in a LS site was honorable, SORRY but is not so hate to burst anyones Bubble!
how would you like the spouse calling your phone and saying WTF and drag you through their messy divorce, we were at least lucky and we don't know what he told her and we were left out of the mess.

Happened with a LS couple as well when she wanted me, but my wife did not want him, we had all hung out with groups and such, she approached and wanted to hook up I asked about her hubby, she said he was ok with it. We set up a time and place to meet.
We played at their place and after wards the phone rings and its her hubby, I was getting ready to say hey when she waved her hand and shushed me ... it was awkward and I felt as though I cheated.

those happened around the same time frame and now if some one says its ok with their spouse, we want to talk to them first.