I walked in on my Husband Kissing the girl we sometimes have threesome

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I think it would bother me to walk in on Mr Spoo kissing someone even if we had played with them and vice-versa.

In Terrileex's situation:
The party group was non-swingers - that is a big red flag and a for us. She is right, what if someone else had walked in on them. How would you explain it short of exposing your lifestyle? No, we're not ashamed but we are also professionals that don't want work, family and the world to know either.

I also agree that Terrileex needs to move on past this but only after the two of them have come to an understanding of how you feel about it and have a new rule that prevents it from happening again. If it had not been discussed previously then it was an honest lifestlye error and you just need to decide what to do in the future.

We had a similar situation only at a club. We had not discussed kissing when alone with someone we had or were getting ready to be with. We had been talking with this couple most of the evening and had arm touchs and hugs during this time. We had decided to start moving upstairs to a room and had stopped to watch a someone was getting on the couch. Mr Spoo had to go back downstairs for a minute and the Mr. of the couple motioned me close (to see the better) and then put his arm around my waist and leaned over and kissed me (his Mrs was on his other side). Anyway Mr Spoo walked back upstairs to see me kissing him. He politely excused us from the other couple and we went downstairs and talked about how it bothered him. I had not realized since we were getting ready to play that it would be something that was bothersome. After talking about it I realized I wouldn't have wanted it to be a reverse situation because I would have felt the same way. So now we both agreed that we don't do things like that with our 'friends' if we're alone.

For us we have set rules ahead of time with the stipulation that they are subject to change as we meet new people. There are some that are in stone (we always play same room,etc) but as you go along different things can come up and one or the other isn't comfortable with the situation and you have to change or create new boundaries. We go with the same rule that applies to lifestylers over all, (when playing with a couple you go with the one who has the smallest comfort zone) so if one or the other of us is uncomfortable with a person, act or situation then it is changed or even eliminated from our play. Sometimes that means we don't play with a single or couple again (which we have had to do that too with a single that crossed some boundaries that had been previously expressed to him). Swinging is for us as a couple and we both need to be comfortable, thoughtful of each others feelings and always, always, always communicate.

Mrs. Spoomonkey