Cheated then lied. sorry so long

[ShellyM]

I can relate to the safety issue. As I have said, Jay and I have agreed that we can play alone if ever we have the inclination. However, when it comes to me Jay insists that it be with a man we both know. And I will not play alone on alcohol. In truth it has happened to people. You get a horny aggressive man with alcohol. You are alone, and perhaps you get nervous and say no. I'm a small woman compared to a 250 pound man and would not be much good at fighting back. So I can relate to the safety issue being a factor.
Shelly

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- In the search for depth, breadth and meaning in her actions, have you simply considered she's a nitwit who got a cheap thrill from fucking some guy ? Again, let's emphasize that she's a nitwit incapable of really understanding her own actions. Write an apology letter ? Puhleeeze. You're just trying to get some control and understanding from someone unwilling/incapable of either. I still hope you work it out, but it may be less complex and more ridiculous than you think.

[girlsnboys]

I have to agree here w/ Susan, from what the OP has written the wife appears to have zero compassion for her mate. If this were a guy doing this to a woman, we'd be eviscerating him, and based on what's been written about her so far, she's got it coming. To be honest to the OP I think asking her write a you an apology letter isn't NEARLY enough after what has happened. I think she needs to understand how serious something this is. IMO saying "it was just sex, it didn't mean anything" is blowing it off, and shows very little respect for you, or the situation you're both in. Either that, or she's a complete nitwit. Regardless she will need more dramatic of an lesson than an apology letter. If there's more, please say so, but so far the picture you're painting of her isn't a good one.

[Confused In PA]

I really appreciate all the replies regarding my problem. Update:

I'm still not getting any answers and thought the "letter" would let her tell me something about the "Why?" I wasn't getting anywhere with the yelling and screaming and apparently the less aggravating appraoch isn't getting anywhere either. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm not getting an answer.

I'm going to get out of this mess while I'm still sane and let her screw up her own life because she is definately done screwing up mine. I'm sure someone out there will appreciate me more than she did/does and then I'll have the last laugh.

[ShellyM]

Pa,
I'm sorry that your marriage is ending this way. Please get counseling for yourself immediately. As soon as possible. I only hope that you heal and move on to a healthy relationship and happiness. Best of luck to you.
Shelly