Why am I being hit on by cheaters??!!!

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by lickudry

What the hell is the difference? Whether the wife or husband is there if you are not doing it with your own wife or husband you are cheating on them. So what the f****. Maybe some of us married men would like to experience some sexual freedom, fulfill fantasies that our wives won't.

Oh, good dog...

I thought about responding, but the name alone dries up that desire, among other things. I have to wonder what's wrong with his salivary glands if he manages to lick someone dry.

Back to your regularly scheduled troll-fest.

[Thrax]

I have no idea if the OP's story is true or just a come-on. But what he says can happen: I've been hit on by two married women -- without their husbands' knowledge, from what they eventually told me -- since I started exploring swinging about six years ago. So, for me it's been extremely rare, but the attempts were there.

The first occurred about three or four years ago when the operator of a now-defunct PA on-premise club emailed me to tell me that a woman who had attended that club periodically was interested in contacting me. She and I had never met. But she had talked to him and his wife at one of the on-premise gatherings and told them how much she wanted to hookup with a single male. They thought of me and she approved of them sending me her Yahoo profile link.

The owner and wife did not mention that she was married. I can't remember if they knew. She listed herself as single in her Yahoo profile. It turned out that she wasn't. I had a long IM conversation with her and it turned out that her husband -- because of medical problems -- could not sexually satisfy her, so she was looking for a guy to hookup with occasionally. At least that was her story. I asked her if her husband was okay with this and she told me that she wasn't going to tell him. I told her that if I could meet him -- or talk to him on the phone and KNOW it was him -- and get his okay, then I would really consider it. I thought it was possible that some husbands might actually condone such a situation if he was sexually incapable but wanted her to have some sexual satisfaction. In my book, if they would BOTH be comfortable with such a setup, then I would consider it. She didn't like that reply and our conversation ended.

If her profile pic was accurate, she WAS a hottie. But the whole situation left me squirmingly uncomfortable, so I turned her down. I date in the vanilla world, and I get the occasional hookup in SwingWorld, but I'm not desparate enough to risk a situation like this. And if she's admitting that she'd be concealing this from her husband, then what else might she be concealing from me?

Bye-bye.

The second contact was through my Yahoo Profile, but I don't know if she found me through a Yahoo group I belong to or through this Board. She IM'd me and within a few minutes I established that she was exploring without her hubby's knowledge. I very politely told her I was not interested.

You know, I'm not trying to appear self-righteous here. I'm into this for a little kinky fun, as an enhancement to my "vanilla" sex life. I don't need the drama and potential danger of clandestine activity. I don't need the idea that I might be destroying a relationship, however one-sided. I'm not going to try to screw a married woman in the course of my vanilla dating activities, and I don't need it in this venue either. If other men -- single or married -- and some women (and obviously they are out there) want to cheat, then that's on their conscience(s). I don't want to deal with that.

And a last note, concerning profiles. When I started this I decided to initially just get out and meet people, so I went to some on-premise clubs that accepted single males, and I got involved in Yahoo Groups that did the same. I knew from a lot of research (that I did before I dipped my toe -- or whatever -- in the swinging waters) that many people regard single males very suspiciously (and in many cases there is good cause for SwingWorld's single male stereotype).

Consequently, I thought the best way for me to get involved was to actually try to meet people face-to-face first. It worked, so I've refrained from setting up profiles in too many places. The only profiles I maintain are in some Eastern Ohio and Western PA Yahoo Groups, plus the restricted members-only site of the on-premise club I belong to, and the limited profile on this Board. I am not on Swing Lifestyle, AFF, or similar sites, but if I get an inquiry from a couple or a single female, after some communication, if I think they/she are aboveboard, then I'm happy to provide more pics and information. And we can take it from there.

Questions?

Thrax

[ShellyM]

Official seal of Thrax?
Oh boy