Cheating...

[Livin24nic8]

I know the swinging lifestyle is all about being with someone and having sex with others at the same time, but does anyone find it hot to cheat or sneak around? I know it's fucked up and destructive, but I am just trying to be honest.

[jennandjamesinm]

Just do a search for cheating etc. You will find that on this board, there is little tolerance for cheating.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Livin24nic8

I know it's fucked up and destructive

Sure is...

Oft' discussed topics. Cheating is not swinging. You'll find many of us have a high respect for marriage - which makes our swinging possible...

Spoomonkey

[Livin24nic8]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Sure is...

Oft' discussed topics. Cheating is not swinging. You'll find many of us have a high respect for marriage - which makes our swinging possible...

Spoomonkey

Yes... I actually never done it, but I do find myself thinking of it being hot because it's so bad to do...

Last night, I saw the movie "Sideways".... There is a scene where a waitress who was just a normal girl bangs one of the characters in the movie and the hubby catches her cheating... Then later, he is banging her and talking dirty to her calling her a slut for cheating. Crazy but I admit I found it hot.

Again, never done it... Just got turned on by the idea.

[curiousagain]

Some people certainly do get off on it. Those of us that don't try to avoid them. To each his own. As a rule, it's not tolerated in swinging any more and maybe even less than in the vanilla world.

I think that is because so much of success at swinging depends on honesty and trust and well........not much of that is involved in cheating.

[Spoomonkey]

You'll find that the issue of swinging is a hot one - and one that doesn't go over very well at all.

The scene you describe is hot, but it is something that happens to a safer degree under the swinging umbrella all the time. It is called hot wife or cuckolding. Wife goes out - has some fun - comes home to hubby who gets a charge out of the experience. Of course, this falls within the boundaries of the couple.

Spoomonkey

[Livin24nic8]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

You'll find that the issue of swinging is a hot one - and one that doesn't go over very well at all.

The scene you describe is hot, but it is something that happens to a safer degree under the swinging umbrella all the time. It is called hot wife or cuckolding. Wife goes out - has some fun - comes home to hubby who gets a charge out of the experience. Of course, this falls within the boundaries of the couple.

Spoomonkey

yeah.... thats also as hot I guess.

[sexyshelby]

I agree with Spoo. I think having sex with other people is hot, but it's only hot if I can share my experience with my boyfriend.

~SS

[pumpkins1970]

Cheating to us isn't hot or sexy, it's hurtful. There is no room in our marriage for it what-so-ever. We have both been hurt by other SO's in our lives before we got together, so we both know the pain it can bring.

Originally Posted by pumpkins1970

Cheating to us isn't hot or sexy, it's hurtful. There is no room in our marriage for it what-so-ever. We have both been hurt by other SO's in our lives before we got together, so we both know the pain it can bring.

I agree with Pumpkins here! MrVan and I have been in previous marriages where this has happened to us. It is very painful and is something that I would never fantasize about. For those who think of cheating and get turned on by it to me it sounds as if you have some insecurities in your own relationship but instead of working on them or talking about the problems with your SO, you are trying to find a way out..Wrong way to go!

Cheating is wrong! Swinging is about sharing things with your SO and fulfilling fantasies you never thought could be fulfilled. Cheating is not one of them. We have been contacted by men who say they are single but come to find out they are married and that is a huge turn off for us. Too much baggage for us.

No one can stop you hear on the board to make whatever decision you choose but just remember that cheating is NOT swinging and is not accepted on the board.

MrsVan

[VancouverCouple]

Well this is my first post but I thought I'd share as this is a topic I find interesting.... not because of something I did but rather what happened to me..

A long, long time ago, my wife had an affair. It lasted about 2 months I guess and then she told me about it. It was still going on and she didn't know what to do (stay or leave or whatever).

Anyway the night she told me and "some" of the details, I found myself really horny (and obviously very upset). I could tell she was really wet/hot herself. At the time I was so pissed off I didn't sleep with her as I just didn't think it was right.

Then over the years I have read about how our DNA is wired such that men are arosed by their wives infidelity, it has to do with your sperm kicking the ass out of Mr. Xs sperm.

I have always wondered if this is why swinging is such a turn on as people are leveraging this cheating DNA thing.

We are still married today. We don't swing (yet) but I find it a very curious subject and think about it more and more......

Mr VC

[sexyshelby]

Interesting theory.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by VancouverCouple

Then over the years I have read about how our DNA is wired such that men are arosed by their wives infidelity, it has to do with your sperm kicking the ass out of Mr. Xs sperm.

I have always wondered if this is why swinging is such a turn on as people are leveraging this cheating DNA thing.

This is an interesting theory, and one that goes to the basic hardwiring of human nature. I definitely love to have sex with Mrs. WS after she has been done really well by someone else (which supports this theory being an unconcious response), and once in awhile I like to send her on little "missions" alone, but I love watching her with someone else even more, and visa-versa. With her there is no one sperm kicking the hell out of the other sperm response going on, either.

And as others have said, within the swinging community cheating is very frowned upon. So many married men looking to cheat think hooking-up with a swinger couple would be easy, but it's not.

Mr. WS

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by VancouverCouple

over the years I have read about how our DNA is wired such that men are arosed by their wives infidelity, it has to do with your sperm kicking the ass out of Mr. Xs sperm.

I have always wondered if this is why swinging is such a turn on as people are leveraging this cheating DNA thing.

I think Desmond Morris covered this subject in his "The Human Sexes" series a few years ago. As I recall, men cum both more forcefully, and in greater volume, when the opportunity for her to have another lover is present.

In other words, you don't have to know she had sex with another man...all you need to know is that she could have had sex with another man...for the orgasms to be stronger.

I know that as a single guy, I have much more intense orgasms with women who are seeing other men, than I do with ones who want to play "lap dog."

It's the exact opposite of what "conventional wisdom" tells us about male sexuality.

[TerryforSex]

Its not cheating whn you and your spouse are in agreement on the matters of having sex with other people...either at a club or with friends when they are not around.