cheating help

[curiousagain]

Is there a link that could just be posted to a cheating thread that would provide links to all of the threads about it?

I'm getting pretty fucking tired of it having to be explained over and over and over and over.

PS. I woke up to an empty coffe cannister this morning so that may be affecting my "I am fucking fed up" attitude today.

[WesternSwing]

That is a good idea, maybe in the Swinger Advice section?

Cory

[curiousagain]

I think it would help. It seems that people just wanting to get into swinging don't realize that the linchpin of successful swinging is trust and most, not all, but most, don't want anything to do with cheaters.

[WesternSwing]

As I thought more about this it would help explain, in one place, why many swingers do not condone cheating, and will not play with cheaters. I think it would help thwart some rather heated threads. Arguments over cheating has lost good folk from the board, like Mr&Mrs-naughty.

Cory

[TNT]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

PS. I woke up to an empty coffe cannister this morning so that may be affecting my "I am fucking fed up" attitude today.

"Fed up attitude", does not cover what happens around here when there is no coffee in the mornings....it's more 'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE" ...momma's out of coffee.

Teresa

[good times]

Originally Posted by TNT

"Fed up attitude", does not cover what happens around here when there is no coffee in the mornings....it's more 'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE" ...momma's out of coffee.

Teresa

I can relate, at our house the secret to our 20 years of marital bliss has been for me to stay safely in bed until after the first cup of coffee. Even our dog (miniature schnauzer) learned this early in life and prefers to spend Mrs. GT's first coffee time curled up in bed with me.

[JustAskJulie]

Sounds like something that needs to be written. Who's up for it?

[intuition897]

OMG, I think we've all explained it in minute detail at least a dozen times each. If we get a link to an FAQ on Cheating vs. Swinging, I'm putting it in my signature!

Who's up for it? I dunno... part of me really wants to volunteer for this, but between thinking that that's pretty presumptuous of me, and the general weariness of having to explain yet again (!)... But at least if we do it up right, we don't have to explain it ever again; we just post a link.

If no one else wants the job, I'll do it. But I know there are some really intelligent folks on here with some hard-hitting insights into it. I feel really strongly about it, and I'm sure that would come across in anything I write about cheating, despite my best attempts to remain objective. If someone else feels they could be more rational and objective (I actually get pissed off a little at the whole issue), and if that's the track we want to follow, then it would probably be best for someone else to do it.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Sounds like something that needs to be written. Who's up for it?

What's the consensus?

I mean - I've been embarrassingly verbous about the issue - but I'm just a monkey... I actually thought about collecting the posts I liked the most in a word document so I could just cut and paste the links whenever the subject came up...

Framkly, I think the one person who has been the most "on point" with this has probably been Vegas Lee. Very "to the point" wisdom - and it agrees with me

Spoomonkey

[intuition897]

Good call Spoo. Dito! He's always been to the point and concise (something I REEEALLY struggle with ) and has been in the game long enough to have seen just about everything. I might really want to write something like that, but that's just because I love to hear myself talk. Lee would definitely be an excellent choice.

So is this something that would be updated/added to the FAQ's? Or would it be an entirely new forum? I think there's certainly enough material on the topic for a new forum, and it would be a very ACTIVE forum, but the concern might be that when it's given its own forum, would it be possible that the arguments might spin out of control there? Almost like members are being given license to argue?

Another trend I'm noticing is spiritual concerns. Although I have strong spiritual beliefs, I realize that my views might not be welcome on the general board, even though I do my best to not discomfit anyone. Others seem to have an interest in spiritual matters, too. We can, of course, just refer Christians with inner conflict to libchrist.com, but resolving those conflicts is essential for those of us who are so inclined if we hope to swing successfully. Otherwise, we are engaging in something that we feel is unhealthy or sinful. A forum dedicated solely to that might be a good idea, a place where discussions of this nature are welcome. Perhaps in the FAQ, or Lounge? Just a thought...

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by intuition897

We can, of course, just refer Christians with inner conflict to libchrist.com.

No offense to that site, but I tend to think their work is presented a bit sloppily. The research is often choppy and the arguements unconvincing.

I am working on a longer "paper" on it as an "assignment" from the mentor forum, but I tend to be a perfectionist with ADD, so most of my projects are doomed to linger forever...

I almost feel like a few of these topics should be "locked" a redirected to a "statement". At least for a time to let things kind of go back to normal. Man, I'd love it if a friendly topic (Like LM's masturbation thread) would take off with the fury of these others...

Spoomonkey

[WesternSwing]

I think Vegas Lee would be an excellent choice. Also, as Spoo said there are a great number of threads that exist on this subject that portions of posts could be cut and paste into, or used to create a document on this. I think it should be an addition to the FAQ or as an article in the Swinger Advice area, because like Intuition says, although a great forum section, it may turn into just one big argument. So maybe just a statement about how cheating is viewed in the Lifestyle is sufficient and we can see from there we want to open up a new forum based on the response.

Cory

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by good times

Even our dog (miniature schnauzer) learned this early in life and prefers to spend Mrs. GT's first coffee time curled up in bed with me.

Hot damn!!!

(totally off the subject )

I know a LOT of swingers who have mini schnauzers. I had two, Confunktion has one, that lawyer, Randy (can never remember his user name ), has two... and a few other people I've met out & about have them.

They make the best pets.

*edit

I think you would do a fabulous job, Intuition, writing an article on cheating. Even if the subject angers you, you do present yourself in a kind- hearted manner.

[intuition897]

Thanks for the compliment Ves, but I think if Vegas Lee will do it, I'll leave that article up to him.

And totally off topic, too...

I can't even think of what a schnauzer looks like. We have two hunting dogs: a lab/husky cross, and a very old beagle. I'm looking forward to eventually having a pet-hair-free home. I've never lived in one. I'll bet it's nice.

[JustAskJulie]

If one of you will locate a good post of VegasLee's that deals with this I will just request to copy it and put it in the Swinger Advice section, then create an auto link for the word cheating or whatever phrase we agree is best.