Quality, even though I'm married?

[dialtone]

Will there be any quality folks who would want to meet with me? I am doing this without my wife's knowledge. I understand the couples who are into this and seem to have such open communication. We have a good relationship - not without it's rocks - but communication about sex has always been squelched on her end. I am very driven sexually, so I see this as a possible outlet. I am considered attractive to some, decent shape, etc. Any ideas?
Please be honest! I know that is in abundance here.

Thanks!

[mrbandsatl]

Generally speaking, you will not be very welcomed in the swinging community. Cheating is greatly frowned upon and most will want nothing to do with your situation. There is an old addage that says, "swinging is not cheating and cheating is not swinging." You may find exceptions but our advice would be put your energy into fixing your marriage.

IMHO only of course...

Good luck to you,
Bob and Sandy

[dave110256]

Ditto to above...........might have better luck on a personals site, not here

[northindycpl]

Dito.

[starlinn]

Double Dito

[Vespertine]

Triple Dito

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Triple Dito

quad Dito

[Alura]

dialtone wrote:

...communication about sex has always been squelched on her end.

We think this is the root of your problem. Improving your communication is key; until that is done there can be no change. It's a huge mistake to try to solve your sexual problems without your wife. It will lead to disaster that will sadly eclipse the pleasure you might gain should you be one of the extremely rare cheaters who might be welcomed by swingers.

We think your best bet is to say, "Darling, I need to communicate with you about our sex life, but I feel you always shut down my efforts. It's very important to me; please open up and talk to me."

We're not big on conselors but there are some who might be able to help you and your wife open up to each other without injecting moral values which may not apply to y'all.

Alura

[dutch51]

We can't add much of anything new except to say that what you're considering doing is cheating, not swinging. Therefore, it'll be hard to find people willing to engage in a relationship with you. You mentioned open communication, and you're right, that is important in the lifestyle- we like for everyone to be involved, and all the parties who need to know what's going on, to know everything that's going on. I'm not sure you'll find any different sentiments on this board.

[C n' D 4playin]

we have nothing much to add to the above posts.......except perhaps, that by adding one more ditto to the list..... you would be getting a larger sampling of responses to your question.

NO WAY....NO HOW......not in our bedroom.

if you really want insight into our position.......
consider this....IF you would lie to or otherwise deceive your wife about your activities.......why in heavens name should we believe for a moment that you could / would be honest with us.

d

[confunktion]

I wish you the best of luck in opening up the doors of communication with your wife. I hope you find success in getting to know each other's deep fantasies and desires. And I hope that this new level of intimacy brings you to heights never before seen in your relationship together.

If you try anything to the contrary, I hope you fail...for both your sakes.

Mr. Funk
Spreading the word from the Mothership

[good times]

Originally Posted by dialtone

Will there be any quality folks who would want to meet with me?

I seriously doubt it. As others have said work on your relationship with your wife and forget about cheating on her, because once you go down that road you can't undo it very easily.

[DBL D]

We have to echo all the responses so far. (Not that you might have gotten PM'd by a lurker who wants to take you up on your offer.)

Swinging works Best when you two are on the same page, just like with a marriage. That is not to say you couldn't lie your way around and fool someone, but that's just it. You're fooling someone, and it may turn out to be yourself. I never thought Fem D would go for swinging so I brought up an open marriage type thing. Boy did she change my direction when she admitted that she had certain feelings as well. Only happened through tough, hard, difficult-at-times communication that we finally arrived at the point where we are today: Actively involved....TOGETHER!!! It may seem an insurmountable task just to sit down and have an objective discussion about Sex and Sharing, but if you are sexually charged then you have plenty of incentive.

Just remember that swinging doesn't fix things...it makes things better. facelick

Male D

[turnuptheheat]

To rephrase your question, "Would any quality individuals like to help me stab my wife in the heart?"
If you have a good relationship, you would not ask the question you asked.

[dialtone]

Wow. First let me say, thank you for all your replies. There were many more than I thought would appear. That is about as simple, direct advise as I have received in years. And about what I thought you would say, too. I have strayed in the past, and she suspects, but we have 2 small kids and really have a good relationship except for the 'unanswered question' swept under the rug. You all are exaclty right. I need to force the issue, have the 'difficult-at-times' conversation - that she is dying to have, really.

Thank you, again, for your candor and words of wisdom. Complete honesty, I know, will take us to a different place in our relationship. Having read dozens of threads, that is one common message that rings out.

Good luck to all who responded.

sd