Ok to swing without wife?

K-NUCK · 02-28-2005, 02:08 PM

I'm 31,married,male & would like to try swinging. My wife doesn't. Is it O.K. to try it w/o her?

invisibletouch · 02-28-2005, 02:24 PM

Depends, does she know that you want to swing and says go ahead without her? Or would this be without her knowledge or agreement?

If she knows and agrees that it's ok-then yes I think it's ok to swing single.

If you're going to swing in secret-then I call that cheating.

Most but not all swingers don't play with cheaters.

Just my opinions,

K-NUCK · 02-28-2005, 02:33 PM

She knowsand says it's O.K., but I think it would be more fun w/her

Spoomonkey · 02-28-2005, 07:40 PM

You're right - it would be more fun with her; not to mention the fact that your chances will sky rocket with a gorgeous woman on your arm.

Married men playing alone carry a lot of stigma. Even if your wife gives you permission, lots of couples won't be interested (us included). There are just a lot of "pitfalls" to such a situation.

However, if your wife is okay with you playing, you certainly have the right to take your shot. It is a tough, tough way to go for single guys, though. Much tougher with the extra baggage of a "no play" spouse.

Spoomonkey

DBL D · 02-28-2005, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-NUCK

She knowsand says it's O.K., but I think it would be more fun w/her

I agree that it can be done but...where are you gonna pin her note?

Male D

findtime · 02-28-2005, 10:55 PM

I think you're playing with fire.

Even if your wife knows about it and gives you permission, it sounds like it would probably be under duress. Something to make you happy.

It isn't likely to last.

HotMoCpl · 03-01-2005, 06:21 AM

Hey, keep the honesty flowing. Manitain and keep talking to her. You would probably benefit more if you two "fly" together. :rollseyes

(I'm just saying what the Spoomonkey said because I know he's right.

)

a_couple_in_pa · 03-01-2005, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-NUCK

I'm 31,married,male & would like to try swinging. My wife doesn't. Is it O.K. to try it w/o her?

The only way we would possibly consider playing with only 1/2 of a couple was if we could meet with the other half before hand and verify with them that they are truly ok with it.

Would your wife do that?

***JustAskJulie*** · 03-01-2005, 02:14 PM

It can be done, and some will be ok with it. However, it will not be easy. It's quite hard for a SINGLE guy to become active in the lifestyle, it's even hader for a married one who is playing single. Most couples won't go for it, and most who will will quite literrally want a note from your wife (or to meet her and hear it from the horses mouth - so to speak - that it is ok). There are some out there, tho, who don't care and will be happy to meet with you regardless.

What it really comes down to is - is it really something you want to do? You said yourself you think it would be more fun WITH her, and you are most likely right. So why take the chance of going off and doing it without her and risk her being upset by it?

**Alura** · 03-01-2005, 05:45 PM

The only time we ever played with a man without his wife was when she called and asked us if we'd invite him over for a threesome because she was away on business and he was horney. It gave us a chance to try an MFM. Mrs. Alura loved it! His wife "caught up" when she got home.

Of course, they were our usual playcouple. I doubt we'd have done it otherwise.

Mr. Alura

Mrs Spoomonkey · 03-01-2005, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by a_couple_in_pa

The only way we would possibly consider playing with only 1/2 of a couple was if we could meet with the other half before hand and verify with them that they are truly ok with it.

Would your wife do that?

This is probably what most couples will request of you and your wife if they are okay with playing with you alone. Here's the other problem with that. . . just to swing with a true single male there are the emails, then the meet for drinks etc. or take the even easier route and go to the club and meet a single there. With a married male there is the added hassel of meeting with the wife to be sure she gives her blessing but then the concern that we could end up in a marital mess if she has second thoughts.

Like everyone said, yes you can swing as a married single but your chances are narrowed by the very nature of it.

Mrs Spoomonkey

WesternSwing · 03-01-2005, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-NUCK

I'm 31,married,male & would like to try swinging. My wife doesn't. Is it O.K. to try it w/o her?

If she's okay with it, sure. But you'd be hard-pressed to find another couple that doesn't think you're cheating, which could limit your activities. And doing it without her consent will just lead you to divorce court.

Mr. WS

SexyMe · 03-06-2005, 11:49 AM

Hi, my first time here so hope not over stepping but thought I would put my 2 cents in. I am a married woman who plays without my hubby (with his blessings) and I just want to say I have ran into all the problems mentioned. I/we have found it difficult to find playmates because he does not choose to play. But on the upside the ones I have met have been great and have turned out to be great friends in and out of bed.

tnohcpl · 03-06-2005, 12:14 PM

have you tried to use a fantasy about swinging in your sex with her?? if you have a open honest repore with your wife maybe she may consider soft swing same room. if she is open to that she may find it a enjoyable experience and want to pursue it further. slow and honesty is the key !

bigbreastedbabe · 03-14-2005, 03:27 PM

Give her some time. It took me time and lots of "NEVER!"s before a caved

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02-28-2005, 02:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
K-NUCK Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2 Location: middle Tn.	Ok to swing without wife? I'm 31,married,male & would like to try swinging. My wife doesn't. Is it O.K. to try it w/o her?

02-28-2005, 02:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
invisibletouch Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 58 Location: Paragould,AR Status: M.Female	Re: new from middle TN Depends, does she know that you want to swing and says go ahead without her? Or would this be without her knowledge or agreement? If she knows and agrees that it's ok-then yes I think it's ok to swing single. If you're going to swing in secret-then I call that cheating. Most but not all swingers don't play with cheaters. Just my opinions,

02-28-2005, 02:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
K-NUCK Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2 Location: middle Tn.	Re: new from middle TN She knowsand says it's O.K., but I think it would be more fun w/her

02-28-2005, 07:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: Ok to swing without wife? You're right - it would be more fun with her; not to mention the fact that your chances will sky rocket with a gorgeous woman on your arm. Married men playing alone carry a lot of stigma. Even if your wife gives you permission, lots of couples won't be interested (us included). There are just a lot of "pitfalls" to such a situation. However, if your wife is okay with you playing, you certainly have the right to take your shot. It is a tough, tough way to go for single guys, though. Much tougher with the extra baggage of a "no play" spouse. Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

02-28-2005, 10:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
findtime Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 73 Location: Canada Status: couple	Re: Ok to swing without wife? I think you're playing with fire. Even if your wife knows about it and gives you permission, it sounds like it would probably be under duress. Something to make you happy. It isn't likely to last.

03-01-2005, 06:21 AM	#7 (permalink)
HotMoCpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 402 Location: Missouri Status: Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:HotMo	Re: Ok to swing without wife? Hey, keep the honesty flowing. Manitain and keep talking to her. You would probably benefit more if you two "fly" together. :rollseyes (I'm just saying what the Spoomonkey said because I know he's right. )
	__________________ "Heros go to heaven, survivors go home."- Some damn ol' gunt.

03-01-2005, 02:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Ok to swing without wife? It can be done, and some will be ok with it. However, it will not be easy. It's quite hard for a SINGLE guy to become active in the lifestyle, it's even hader for a married one who is playing single. Most couples won't go for it, and most who will will quite literrally want a note from your wife (or to meet her and hear it from the horses mouth - so to speak - that it is ok). There are some out there, tho, who don't care and will be happy to meet with you regardless. What it really comes down to is - is it really something you want to do? You said yourself you think it would be more fun WITH her, and you are most likely right. So why take the chance of going off and doing it without her and risk her being upset by it?

03-01-2005, 05:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: Ok to swing without wife? The only time we ever played with a man without his wife was when she called and asked us if we'd invite him over for a threesome because she was away on business and he was horney. It gave us a chance to try an MFM. Mrs. Alura loved it! His wife "caught up" when she got home. Of course, they were our usual playcouple. I doubt we'd have done it otherwise. Mr. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

03-06-2005, 11:49 AM	#13 (permalink)
SexyMe Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1 Location: louisiana	Re: Ok to swing without wife? Hi, my first time here so hope not over stepping but thought I would put my 2 cents in. I am a married woman who plays without my hubby (with his blessings) and I just want to say I have ran into all the problems mentioned. I/we have found it difficult to find playmates because he does not choose to play. But on the upside the ones I have met have been great and have turned out to be great friends in and out of bed.

03-06-2005, 12:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
tnohcpl Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 70 Location: west tennessee Status: married couple	Re: Ok to swing without wife? have you tried to use a fantasy about swinging in your sex with her?? if you have a open honest repore with your wife maybe she may consider soft swing same room. if she is open to that she may find it a enjoyable experience and want to pursue it further. slow and honesty is the key !

03-14-2005, 03:27 PM	#15 (permalink)
bigbreastedbabe Registered Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3 Location: Southern USA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:BigBreastedBabe	Re: Ok to swing without wife? Give her some time. It took me time and lots of "NEVER!"s before a caved

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