Declined to play with a cheater, then accused of a double standard

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Alura

If Mrs. Alura and I ever agreed to a situation like that, it'd be my luck to be squarely in the saddle of the "sorta-single" woman when her husband finally tracked her down. I'd hate to try to "keep it up" while looking down the barrel of a Colt .45.
Mr. Alura

Murphy's Law, Alura. Ain't it always the way?

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by Alura

Without even considering the moral question of cheating, y'all did the right thing.

Agreed. You followed your instincts, which is the best that anyone can do in this situation.

[curiousagain]

Bigbird: Ya did the right thing. Don't look back. If they don't understand the difference between swinging and cheating that is their problem.

[PackageDeal]

Bigbird, You did the right thing simply because that is what you felt was right. What anyone else thinks is secondary to your feelings. It's quite clear that we all agree with you but even if we didn't thats irrelevant. You should never go forward with any situation you aren't comfortable with. Any couple that try's to pressure you into something you don't want to do is someone you shouldn't be playing with anyway!

I'll step down off the soapbox now...LOL

[Latino_M_7]

hi......good question ....interesting topic......but u are playing a double standard........she is a grown up and altough we do not agree with her cheating it is still her life and responsibility.......the consequences she will have to face not us......so if she wants sex.........that is her business and she will get burned for it.......enjoy

[Bigbird]

wow, thanks for all the responces. I didn't expect this kinda of responce but it is nice to know that we did the right thing....well I knew that already so it is nice to get comfirmation....lol

Happy Holidays everyone

[WesternSwing]

You completely did the right thing. If she has been having an affair what makes anyone think she really has the blessings of her husband to go have sex with couples? We won't help others cheat either. It's just our choice. Besides, this is a trainwreck waiting to happen. Imagine if she is lying and the husband found out. Bad things could ensue.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Latino_M_7

hi......good question ....interesting topic......but u are playing a double standard........she is a grown up and altough we do not agree with her cheating it is still her life and responsibility.......the consequences she will have to face not us......so if she wants sex.........that is her business and she will get burned for it.......enjoy

How is it a double standard? They are swinging with their spouse, not having sex with others without their spouse's consent. Now if someone was cheating and passing judgement on someone else for cheating, that would be a double standard. But that is not what Bigbird is doing.

Mr. WS

[DBL D]

Some folks have a real need to involve others in "the crime". Not sure why they reacted that way if they felt otherwise. No means No...No discussion necessary.

One might think that they'd be happy with the idea that at least they wouldn't be playing alone. Oh well, better start e-mailing so you guys will have someone to play with!

Male D

[Chemistry_0518]

We agree with all the others here so far. You are right. Stick to your guns. If it is not comfortable for you, it would make little sense in going against your sensibilities. Mrs Chemistry and I have a rule that prohibits "Doing it for the team". If it doesn't work for one then it doesn't work for US. We are in this for our mutual enjoyment because we found that to be the best possible arrangement that fits who we are. Going against our principles wouldn't work for either of us.

Bravo for you!