Strongly Considering Swinging in Indy without husband knowing

[jcbicouple]

You are NOT swinging! You are CHEATING! Period! If you want to have sex with other people get your husband involved. If you lie to him and go have sex with other people you are saying that your fantasies mean more to you than your husband and your marraige. Maybe you should ponder a moment on how you would feel if you found out he's been cheating on you? Sorry we aren't as nice about this as everyone else, but to us you are no different than the married cheating men that come on here. Just the fact that you made the statement "What he doesn't know won't hurt him" is quite appauling.

[Nymph an' Satyr]

I think that you would have more fun if your husband was there to share the experience. Think of what you risk- you have been married for quite a while.....

[jim-n-nicole]

Originally Posted by funnygirl1243

I'd also like to know if a pretty, 44-year old black woman, with a curvaceous, plump mom's body, would even get any action in one of those places? I'd really like a reality check.

Others have clearly stated the thoughts on cheating around here, so I'll comment on the two lines above...which only one person commented on that I saw.

Yes, a pretty, 44 yo black woman with a curvaceous plump mom's body will be in demand at any of those places. Smile, make eye contact, and say 'hi' and you'll do just fine.

But - please make sure you bring hubby along.

If the two of you decide to go, there are lots of places in Southern Calif to make your fantasies come true - however tame or wild they may be.

Jim.

[funnygirl1243]

Thanks to all of you who responded to my post. This is the most valuable sex-related site I've come across. Just being able to communicate to someone else the thoughts I've been having was a tremendous release. I was able to voice here things I thought I couldn't tell to another living soul.

Today, even before seeing your posts...I starting thinking more clearly. I "got" the distinction between swinging and cheating. I realized the cheating aspect would wreck the experience for me. There's no way I could enjoy it fully. Then I'd have a negative memory to deal with for the rest of my life.

The reality is that, even though I dated quite a bit before marriage, the best sex I've ever had has been with my husband -- because we hold nothing back from each other. So I'm going to continue in that vein and take the almost unanimous advice here. I'll continue to enjoy sex with my husband and start testing the waters with him on the subject of sexual exploration.

I must say that the caring nature of all your responses also reassures me that there when we do start swinging, there are really nice people out there who we can really like. That will make the very enjoyable indeed.

Thanks

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

You are NOT swinging! You are CHEATING! Period! If you want to have sex with other people get your husband involved. If you lie to him and go have sex with other people you are saying that your fantasies mean more to you than your husband and your marraige. Maybe you should ponder a moment on how you would feel if you found out he's been cheating on you? Sorry we aren't as nice about this as everyone else, but to us you are no different than the married cheating men that come on here. Just the fact that you made the statement "What he doesn't know won't hurt him" is quite appauling.

Take funnygirls post and switch the feminine pronouns to masculine.

Now read her post again.

Did it feel different?

It did to me. So much so, that I am certain my first post would not have been so understanding if funnygirl was funnyguy: a post by a married man.

I'm embarrassed that my initial post didn't contain the usual lashing I give married males looking to cheat. A married woman comes to this board and talks about having sex with men without her husband's consent. That's cheating, not swinging.

Thank you jcbicouple for bringing this to my attention through your post.

LM

[DBL D]

Why do I always get here for the end of the thread. (Well, maybe not.)

funnygirl1243, You have shown us some insight. Not only did you start a thread on a subject that I'm sure on one hand titillated you but also a site that you really didn't know much about. You did ask for help in confirming that your plan was safe. Yes, it was "safe", but like you said, you would be strapped in the future. You'd have that negative memory in your mind and it could never really become a good one. I think the general population thinks that Swinging is Cheating; so we'd all be for it in your mind, right, and give you the solution and confirmation to your dilemma. Sorry it didn't turn out like you planned...but it could be better!!!!

I was a bit surprised at the responses which told you that you would have no problems getting action, etc. Well, unfortunately they are correct. Because there are a lot of other cheaters out there and 95% of them aren't like you. They want to cheat. It's a hideous way of life for them and they know they only have deceit to look forward to each day of their lives. Imagine how their illicit affairs may affect their daily transactions.

I commend you for seeing the light and getting on the right track to true sexual freedom and happiness.

Male D

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by funnygirl1243

The reality is that, even though I dated quite a bit before marriage, the best sex I've ever had has been with my husband -- because we hold nothing back from each other. So I'm going to continue in that vein and take the almost unanimous advice here. I'll continue to enjoy sex with my husband and start testing the waters with him on the subject of sexual exploration.

Good on you Funnygirl! We are sure you won't regret taking that course - but be sure to introduce the idea to your husband gently and don't push too hard - it might take a while for the full implications (and possibilities) to sink in with your husband.

The fact that the best sex you have is with your husband is not only great but probably mandatory for getting the very best out of the lifestyle!

CB

[jcbicouple]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Take funnygirls post and switch the feminine pronouns to masculine.

Now read her post again.

Did it feel different?

It did to me. So much so, that I am certain my first post would not have been so understanding if funnygirl was funnyguy: a post by a married man.

I'm embarrassed that my initial post didn't contain the usual lashing I give married males looking to cheat. A married woman comes to this board and talks about having sex with men without her husband's consent. That's cheating, not swinging.

Thank you jcbicouple for bringing this to my attention through your post.

LM

Thank you for noticing. We repeatedly find ourselves appauled that people either think it's ok for a woman to cheat on her husband, or are nice to them even if they think it's wrong, but let a man even mention wanting another woman and the same people try to stone him to death.

funnygirl1243 we're very glad you have decided to leave cheating to the morons of the world. It sounds like you love your husband very much and we would hate to think that anyone would lose a relationship like yours just for sex. You may want to start with fantasing about the two of you doing what you see happening in the Porn movies. See how he responds to that, and if it's a turn on for him.....You're probably on your way to the wild time you're seeking minus the guilt of doing it without your husband, and you'll get an even larger thrill by having him involved. You may find that your sex with each other increases too.

[Alura]

DBL D wrote:

...there are a lot of other cheaters out there and 95% of them aren't like you. They want to cheat.

Thanks, D! Therein lies the difference between Funnygirl and the myriad of single but married honest cheaters we get so often here on the board.

Alura

[jim-n-nicole]

Originally Posted by DBL D

Well, unfortunately they are correct. Because there are a lot of other cheaters out there and 95% of them aren't like you. They want to cheat.

I guess I don't see your distinction. In her original post, she wanted to cheat and, in fact, said so.

I would bet that many of the married men who cheat would also be perfectly willing to swing instead if they could (a) get up the courage to discuss it with their wives and (b) their wives agreed.

More couples would probably end up swinging if the mate who originally was interested actually spoke to their spouse about it and then let the idea sink in with their spouse for a good long while before having having any further discussions.

[DBL D]

Just when I think I have said something really well I find that you have found flaws in it. Oh well...if that's my curse then I'll live with it.

I don't think she wanted to cheat. She wanted a sexual experience to see what it was all about or see how she might feel now that time has passed from her college days.

The "95%" I was speaking of (and of course it was just an outrageous guess to help her feel better- ) seem to live their lives so viscerally. That's all.

Male D

[dr_ron]

This thread is pretty deep...for the most part I have to agree with the consensus.

[Alura]

Male D wrote:

I don't think she wanted to cheat.

This is the crucial point, Male D; you said it well.

I also think FunnyGirl is destined to be known to her husband, if she isn't already, as "Dream Wife" (the same nickname I've given Mrs. Alura). I'll be interested in hearing how it goes.

Please keep us up-to-date, FunnyGirl!

Mr. Alura

[Alura]

FunnyGirl wrote:

I must say that the caring nature of all your responses also reassures me that there when we do start swinging, there are really nice people out there who we can really like. That will make the very enjoyable indeed.

Thanks, FunnyGirl! Rest assured there are a lot of folks like us in the lifestyle. And they do really care. But, then, I think you're one of us now. So stop by the SwingersBoard from time and give us your opinion on different threads. We can learn from each other.

Alura

[JustAskJulie]

I just find it sad that you'd rather cheat on your husband than have an open and honest discussion with him about your feelings and fantasies. That doesn't say much for your relationship.