Is it common to fade in and out of swinging?

[9plus]

question to anyone. I s it common to fade in and out of swinging in general after a while?

[flkeyscouple]

I'm not sure if it's really common, but you'll find a lot of people on this board that have said they 'took time off'.

I know that we did. We started 15 years ago, took some time off because our day to day life just didn't allow time or opportunity. We DID talk about the lifestyle often during the 'off' years. Then we had a chance to get involved again about 6 years ago - but it was for a short period of time. Then we started up again just a bit over a year ago. This time we are more comfortable 'living' the lifestyle, so we don't EXPECT we'll take time off again soon, but who knows. It's hard to predict the future!

Sarah

[ohash01]

I think it's common to fade in and out even if you haven't been swinging "a while". J. and I were busy little swingers last spring and early summer. We haven't even HUNG OUT with other swingers since my birthday (in September). It's not that we're not interested. We've been gone doing different things...him one weekend, me the next...I got a bunch of glass commissions, so all my spare time is spent in the garage working on that...J's "baby-momma" is very pregnant and cranky, so she's been sending his daughter over ALL the time...I work as what is essentially a glorified errand runner and Christmas time is INSANE for me.

I don't have the energy on top of everything else to swing right now. Maybe by spring. *sigh*

[prettylady]

Ohash...breath woman breath.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[havefuninsun]

we've done the same. We had a lot of fun this spring, but had a lot on our plate this summer; we're finally getting back into the swing of things -- pun COMPLETELY intended.

[Chicup]

I think its pretty common, at least amoung the younger couples as life is pretty variable with kids, job changes, etc.

[StacyCat]

It is common. And, one could argue, kinda essential. If your entire life is focused around sex with other people, you are kinda missing the point of a marriage. :-) And, its natural for sexual interest to wax and wane. Sometimes, everyone looks fuckable, other times you just want to cuddle.

[Abgirlie]

Things get busy and its hard to set up meet up's, especially if you travel to meet people, so in our experience its been normal for us to fade in and out of things when life gets busy

[BradAndJanet]

I suppose it is, yes. We're taking a hiatus right now, due to health reasons, but do plan to venture out again when the time is right.

Anyway, being a swinger is a state of mind, not of body.

-B

[WesternSwing]

I can say yes. We were really active up until maybe last June. Since then we've slowed down to the point of a virtually complete stop. We've been to several house parties and club parties, but haven't played. And even at that, the number of times we've been out is way down.

For us, as with many others, swinging is something we do as a hobby. It's not our life. There are other things are more important and those take precidence over hobbies. Sometimes life gets in the way of living for a while.

Mr. WS

[DGrey]

We're kind of in a fade out right now. We took the summer off for me to recover from my tonsillectomy and to take some time to reconnect with each other. Now, we're trying to get back into things but sitter issues abound and it's more difficult than ever to find time to go out. We haven't swung since the beginning of July.

E

[Spoomonkey]

We've never taken an "official" break - so we refer to our down times as "slumps". Why we have those slumps varies from us being busy to lightening just not striking.

I suppose you would never "slump" if swinging was your #1 priority and all that you ever did or thought about, but if you have a life that includes other interests and responsibilities, the occasional "slump" is inevitable and kind of refreshing

Spoomonkey

[curiousagain]

I take breaks sometimes. Life gets in the way so to speak and often these breaks are necessary because I'm dating someone who isn't into swinging. Swinging "on the side and down low" while trying to sort out a possible relationship is not on my to do list. At this point I mostly swing with people I know and they understand those breaks.

[Alura]

It has been for us.

Other than the obvious times that we stopped playing to have children, we've had extended periods in which we didn't have suitable partners. We've never really worked hard at finding playmates.

There are a lot of other things to do.

Mr. Alura

[EternallySingle]

As a single man, I rarely swing, especially since moving back to the midwest. Because its harder for me to find trustworthy couples and non-jaded single women who swing (don't flame me please LOL) who are open to single men, I push the relationship before sex just as I do when dating. Parties are a little different, but thats where the trustworthy couples part comes in. I'm now a little leerly of anyone that wants to know what I'm like in bed before they decide to become "emotionally invested" in me on any level, even if its just to be one of the first ten they call when they want a single man for the night.

Besides, its much easier for me to find single women for dating and just sex than it is to swing, so why should I put more effort into swinging than I do to date? Its been over a year since I seriously considered swinging and I don't even check profiles anymore online. IMHO, its too much work where I live. Because swinging was easier for me when I was on the west coast, I know much of it is expectation vs. availability, so I don't stress about it. I just try to have fun and live by my tag line.