Do you take breaks from the lifestyle?

[DBL D]

Some of us take breaks or slow down in the lifestyle during the holidays due to lots going on with family and all.

For the people that have been in the lifestyle for a while, Why do you take breaks and how long do they last in general?

Fem D

[Chicup]

We take breaks all the time. We were going full out in the early fall, and now haven't been to an event or the like since Halloween. Swinging is not our lives, nor do we want it to be 100% of our social life, plus if we do it all the time it just gets old. Breaks are good.

[Sweet_Candy]

Yes we do. We 've been in lifestyle for 1 yr now and took 3 months off, was fun going back out again.

[hilltop]

I've been in the lifestyle off and on since the late 70's and the breaks have been numerous and for a variety of reasons. Anything from being in a committed vanilla relationship to just not having the time or interest.

I've recently (the last 12 months) been away because I moved and have spent all my time and energy getting settled in to a new routine.

I'm looking forward to reconnecting in my area in the near future and making swinging a part of my life again.

This board has been an outstanding way to stay connected to the community!

[DBL D]

It's nice to hear that others take breaks. Just a few weeks ago we decided to take a break but didn't say how long it would be at the time. Now, We only average about once a month ( not much ) but comfortable for me.
So......me asking for a break again in the last few days of about 3 months I thought was enough time to kinda recharge and reconnect with my hubby. We have had some communication problems in the past so I thought it would be a postive thing for us. I am now finding out from Male D that this might be too hard for him. As of this morning it looks like we might be doing that .For some reason he feels like is not going to take care of our problem and perhaps we should think out getting out all together.
It has taken me a few years to to feel comfy with the lifestyle and I know it has been hard on him. He has been a few pages ahead of me and I think this might help me turn my pages.
We are both a bit upset and having a hard time. In MY mind a break is a GOOD thing.

Fem D

[biblonde]

Breaks are a good thing. It gives you time to reflect on what is going on in your life and some time to yourselves for just each other. Over the last 3 years we have taken breaks some short some longer. We take them because we are just so busy with our boys that we dont have alone time and dont want to give that up for other couples. We have taken them because we get tired of meeting people that just want more and more drama and it wears on us.

Fem D I am sorry you guys are having a hard time but knowing you two you will work it out. Whatever you guys decide to do I wish you the best.

[WesternSwing]

We do take breaks. They may not be long ones, but we were just talking this morning that after all the Halloween and Christmas parties we need some time to ourselves. So we'll probably slow down for the next month and not go out with anyone new. We do have some friends we swing with, but we do other stuff with them too. Our relationship doesn't revolve around the sex. When it happens it's cool, though. So that would be the exception to our break.

Mr. WS

[Spoomonkey]

We have one coming up...

Actually - it starts last weekend. It is for some medical reasons that will take about two months to resolve. Mrs Spoo is pretty bummed about it. She keeps trying to push our "return to action" date earlier...

I hope it works out the way she has it planned

Spoomonkey

[bear_and_babe]

We have taken breaks for all sorts of reasons. Some breaks I asked for and some that Bear asked for. We both find that taking breaks from the lifestyle is a good thing, it helps us take a step back and look at where we are and where we want to go in the future. I thought we were going to have a break coming up the next few months. But we are a host couple for our club, and they asked us to host a little more then we were planing on. We really enjoy hosting, so we will just go to the club on our hosting nights and not any extras.

[jcbicouple]

We take breaks too. Breaks are a good thing. There's no one specific reason that we take them....other than "life". Sometimes we just want to enjoy each other and no one else, and that might be a weekend, a month or six months. Sometimes we're fighting (even though that's not often, we are both human). Sometimes it's just work, or the house, medical reasons, or too much to do, etc. etc. The relationship and life that a couple has together should always be more important than playing with others. That means that breaks are going to happen for everyone. We think it's a sign of a healthy careing relationship.
DBL D: Hang in there. You and Mr. D will get through this. The two of you and your life are more important than this. You're going to be ok, and maybe after some band aides and healing time, you'll be back to playing. If not, you've learned a lot about each other to help you build your relationship stronger than ever!
There are several of us here that have taken breaks because of hurt feelings, etc. from playing....it happens. A break is a great thing for you right now to give yourselves time to focus on the people that matter the most. We'll be thinking of you!

[WildMiCouple]

We've taken the last couple summers off to enjoy the weekends on our lake. But we only visit playmates or go to socials about once a month anyway.....so we get month long breaks all the time

What's nice about a break is, it doesn't have to be permanent if you don't want it to be

Brett

[bill&sabrina]

We don't actually take breaks. Swinging is actually one of the activities we enjoy when we take a break from our regular schedule, which doens't give us many breaks to begin with. With our oldest child only in 1st grade it will be a while before we have time to devote to much of it to swinging.

[DBL D]

Well................Here is an up date.

When Male D said we could take a break, He was really thinking it's all OVER.
He decided that with out even telling me until this weekend. When he told me he understood why I needed a break he had already told himself WE are NOT going back to the lifestyle. I guess he was trying to make me feel better or worse, I don't know. He has been asking me for more communication and NOW I get this kind if treatement. This is not communication from HIM.
I guess asking for a break was just TOOOOO hard for him. I DON"T UNDERSTAND.
I've noticed he has not been on the board for the last few weeks or not as often anyway. I didn't ask him to take a total break, just no play for for a few months. It's been very hard for me to except everything the lifestyle has to offer so I am taking little steps to get cought up. I just needed some time and now this......I am VERY sad and hurt by his actions.

Fem D

[xxoticangel]

Ms. D, I'm sorry to hear about your situation and hope that everything works itself out so that everyone is happy.
Our swinging season closely matches baseball season. We usually start spring training about March by renewing our ads, visiting club chat rooms, and generally getting in the mood. By then I have lost the weight I put on during the holidays and am comfortable enough to wear my club clothes. By June, when my children are spending the summer with their father, we are in "full swing" (pardon the pun). We make dates, go to the area clubs, and spend at least one weekend a month at Pleasure Grove. We start tapering off around Labor Day ending with my birthday or Halloween. After that we take a break for the holidays to reconnect to each other and spend time with family.