Taking a Break...

[Stratecpl]

We are taking a vacation from the on-line swinging scene for awhile. We have some great couples we enjoy the company of, as well as some select single men. We are not going to meet anyone else from the internet for now, though. We've grown so weary of trying to correspond with various people by way of e-mails, chat rooms, phone calls, meetings at restaurants.... courting everyone in respectful style, trying to appease the husband AND the wife, as well as the single male....

And when most of it is finished, they are "NO-SHOWS" anyhow. The absolute worst are the locals!!

Somehow, when you DO manage to get together with some scarce couple, it really wasn't worth all the BS you had to endure! We sit back now and watch people we regularly correspond with, in a dead run from bed to bed. We see people who scour the countryside for that possible evasive fling. We see bedpost after bedpost, getting notched by people who have grown cold and insensitive. It's recreation for them, nothing more than getting off.

We do not fit into that category! We always tried to make friends first, THEN playmates. A very few have remained as close friends and we're eternally grateful for that! I could write a small book full of names and internet handles of head-game players who have really soured us on this online stuff.

Two days ago we finally met a single man who we'd been corresponding with for some time. He was there, cordial, and very nice. He also had on a very nice wedding ring, and has seven very nice children and a loving wife at home. Needless to say we will not play with him....

Not to direct a slur towards the BI people, but here lately I get propositioned as much by the BI guys as my wife does by the bisexual ladies. Just not our bag. Some of our friends are Bi, and this statement need not create a ten-page controversy... LOL

How many of you reach some point where you want to just scream???? It's people who play the head games, people who never learned to read profiles, and people who want to use swinging to mask their cheating ways. We have never condoned cheating, but we think SHARING is great.
We would love to hear some of your rants or criticisms concerning this.

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Flori_DAMAN]

...we havent played in over 4 months. And all of last year I think we played about 4 times at most. We have dropped all of our adds and haven't even gone to a club in that time. I highly doubt that we will jump back in at least until this summer.

We also enjoy SINGLE males....although we enjoy a bit of bi mixed in. We have the same problems though. Many say they are bi just to have sex with her. Many are married and run like the wind when we demand them to prove it, it is the same everywhere.

It is an excersize in futility to expect to find the right combination without many trial and errors if you have any semblence of driscrimination. We have a great time just with the two of us getting into past experiences and fantasizing during sex anyhow...no biggie. We can both take it or leave it, but enjoy the liberated intelligence of the lifestyle whether we participate or not.

[MattLisa]

I can so understand people who can't read profiles. The places we have ads are VERY clear about what we want, and since I am actively looking for single men I do, of course, get lots of responses. About 90% of them don't fit our requests. We are both plus-sized and prefer that (not to knock everyone in shape, we just find we need to make *really* good friendships with people not in our size range to play and most people on the internet aren't looking for making long term friendships first...) and almost every reply I get is from Mr. Buff and beautiful. Great. I'll just make my husband feel inadquate with your six pack, buff arms and lack of any body fat. Just what I was looking for when I said "we are plus-sized people and looking for same".
Oh and how many married men come looking for a "discrete" relationship? Geez! I do play with one gentleman who is allowed to play with wife's permission, which is great, but I had my fill of sneaking around like a teenager, well when I was one. And how awful for the wife!
And I get *so* many responses from men who have never done this and it just "sounds interesting". Which hey can be great, but to me most of the time its "please I can't get laid and don't want to commit so I'm using swinging as an alternative".
Oh and the #1 thing that pisses me off. Responses from men that go something like this "me hung you sux me good and I do u all nite long u want to meet me alone". Like what I'm not even good enough for a description much less capitilization or puncutation? And um when an ad says "We do not in any circumstances play without each other" I didn't know it really meant that if some guy who can't be poliete, use periods or talk to me like I'm a human sends me an email I'll jump into his bed.
Hmmm interesting... But I haven't *quite* got to fed up totally mode. We've had lots of fun with other couples, single women and triads but my fantasy is two men on me all alone... Yum... that thought just keeps me going... and some of the men I meet online are very sweet and nice and intelligent.

[Stratecpl]

Michigancouple,

Thanks for your input. The ones who pose as married and run when you ask for the wife are some of our pet peeves too. Man, we've encountered many of those!! We can spot them easier than the absolute "No-Shows" though, because you really don't know until they have stood you up. It's the ones who try to make like cheating is swinging.... that give the lifestyle a bad rep. We play more often than four months, though. We might go for a couple of months, then play several different times inside a week. All great fun, all very exciting. I guess it's just the rigors of trying to meet anyone new that we wish to avoid for now. Maybe just enjoy each other's company to its fullest, because each other is all we really ever needed in the first place.

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[JustAskJulie]

We have never really focused our search online. We have never really spent a lot of energy searching for swinging partners or going to clubs, etc. It's a fun diversion for us, but we have other things to do as well, and by no means want our lives to revolve around swinging (they do enough in a way just with this site and my amateur site).

We have a couple of ads out there, but the funny thing is that all in all we get very few responses... and most of those that we do get, we get when we aren't in any way looking.

We do get tired of all the work and effort that goes into trying to meet new people in the lifestyle, but we always make it clear up front that we are after friendship first. If we meet someone and it seems like all that is on their mind is swinging/sex then chances are we wont' see them again. However, if we can sit down to dinner with them and spend the evening conversing as friends on multiple topics (which may or may not include sex) then chances are we will see them again... and a few time prior to anything sexual ever happening (if it ever does). We try not to arrange dates with the intent of sex happening... it just makes things awkward. If somethign happens it happens.. and we all have fun.

We too have gone through phases where we just aren't looking for anyone at all, and really aren't "playing" at all. Whether it's because we are just tired of the whole game and need a break or because we just have other things to do... either way it happens... and then when the time is right and we feel like we want to play... we play.

Everyone in this lifestyle is different in regards to what they are looking for. There are people who are here just for the sex, and others who are here for the open friendship and fun and the sex is a bonus. Whatever you are here for, you know it... and you have to stick to that.. and not let what others do lead you astray. It's not about what others do. If you aren't into what they do that's all good and fine, you don't have to do it... if you are.. great... you have someone to do it with...

Just don't let other people push you into doing things that you aren't comfortable with for any reason. Find your niche and stick to it.

[Stratecpl]

Lisa,

If I can quit laughing long enough to type here.... LMAO

Lisa, those men who are so sweet, considerate, and understanding online??? Just wait until you try to get them to come see you.... THEN you reach that realm of "totally outdone"
as they become the proverbial "No-Shows!!"

Really, I hope they don't. Two hot men would give you memories to last a lifetime!! Good luck!

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
<STRONG>We have never really focused our search online. We have never really spent a lot of energy searching for swinging partners or going to clubs, etc. It's a fun diversion for us, but we have other things to do as well, and by no means want our lives to revolve around swinging.....</STRONG>

Bingo, Julie!! That is our exact feeling! We have so many priorities ourselves, we can't just drop everything, leave the kids at school, leave the dogs hungry, etc., just so we can rush off to meet some traveling salesman in a hotel 50 miles away for a quickie!! They all seem to believe we will....

We just rejected some simpleton about ten minutes ago who obviously couldn't read on our profile which states that we're not seeking any new people at present. He wanted us to rush over to his hotel room for a quickie so he would enjoy traveling through here....

I doubt very seriously that anyone who even reads a profile totally understands what it means!! Boy, the quality of educations must be dwindling!! LOL

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Alura]

We'll definitely miss y'all if you stop posting on the Board. Y'all show wonderful insight in the wisdom behind your posts.

We do understand tiring of the phoneys out there. There seems to be a lot of them. A couple of weeks ago we answered an ad for the first time in a long time thinking,"Maybe we'll give it another shot. These folks sound ideal!"

We told "them" a little about ourselves, including our first names and asked them to respond in kind. We got a quick and enthusiastic e-mail that told us the same information that was in their ad, most of it not even reworded and signed it with their initials.

We replied saying, "Gosh, folks, we'd really like to know something more about you. Perhaps we could have a telephone conversation between the four of us and exchange more ideas. Would you be more comfortable with that?"

No answer. No "Great idea!" No, "Fuck you very much!" Nothing.

GEEEEZZZZZ!

Alura

PS: Don't go away, Ron. We like you!

[Stratecpl]

Alura,

We're not leaving this board THAT easy!! LOL We enjoy it here. I guess my post was kind of misleading, the way I said it. I meant, we were going to avoid meeting new people over the internet for swinging. We certainly appreciate your kind thoughts!

We have heard so many stories from so many people, it would be very entertaining. This one guy (a local)called and said he was on his way, come hell or high water. We waited... 6PM... 8PM... 10PM... finally we went to bed at 1AM, with not one word from this bum. I took a day off of work and we did a lot of preparations for his visit. That was January of last year, and he still hasn't arrived. We saw him online the next morning and he totally ignored us. We won't forget him...

Another single guy (again, a LOCAL) was supposed to arrive at 7PM. He never showed either, but we got an e-mail the next morning saying he'd had a wreck in the rain. He was supposed to contact us later when he had his car fixed, but never did. We checked all the traffic reports for that area and there were none....

Hey, it just gets under my skin. We try to always look for the good qualities in people, to believe in them as being truthful. Of course, we get shot down often. The few friends who come back, whether to sit and talk, grill, go to the movies, or play, are golden. We really like this kind of people, and would love to have more friends just like them!!

Anyone else have some gripes they would love to share with us? This is fun!!

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl]

Hell yeah! I got a beef I want to add..LOL One of the reasons I have agreed with Ron on stopping meeting new people on the net for awhile is LEG HUMPERS!!!! You know the guys who can't read profiles and message you wanting to cyber or phone sex...or they hit you with private messages in a chatroom...wanting to cyber.....even AFTER I TOLD them NO I don't cyber! They come up with crap like "oh I understand I won't do that then..let's just chat"...then in the next sentence they type it's..."What are you wearing right now??" Or "Tell me what turns you on"

I need a break from I-D-I-O-T-S!!


Connie (the annoying half of Stratecpl) LOL

[Alura]

Okay! I get it! We're telling each other what pisses us off! Right?

Some of you may have noticed my wife"s treatise on "deep throat" on the Sex/STDs page... She worked really hard on that and then asked me to edit it for continuity and flow; the point being that we both worked hard on it.

What did we get? Direct e-mails from single men! Lots of them! Real suave stuff like, "Wow! That made me sooooo hard!" and "I'll be cumming through Oklahoma..." and "You're not really serious about not playing with single guys, are you?" and "My cock is three feet long, do you think you can...?"

The first e-mail we got was from a fairly sincere sounding guy who seemed to be asking how he could get involved in swinging. To insulate my wife, I answered it as best I could and forwarded a copy to Julie. Her answer (to us) seemed to marvel at our naivete. From then on, we just deleted them.

I know there are some decent people, much like us out there; I know there are... I know there are... I know there are...

Husband of Alura

[invictus]

What a great topic string!!

We personally have only met other swingers at nudist resorts and one visit to an on-site club. We have been experimenting with the idea of meeting people online.

We posted a topic about online swinging but did not get half of the info this line provides. It mostly confirms our own brief experimentation with online ads and our own concerns.

For example:
Step #1 Find very compatible profile.
Step #2 Hi, you look compatible, drop us a line.
Step #3 Reply from "couple". Hi, love to get together but my wife is out of town that week. Hope that is OK. I also have a huge dick.

HUH??
Did you not see that we are soft swingers?? Did you not see that J is bi?? Did you not see that we always stay together in same room and the ad said couples only??

Yes we saw the picture you posted. Who was the girl?? Is the picture something you found on another site?? The picture is of a middle age white couple. The voice sounds like Redd Foxx at 70 years old. Give us a break. No we do not believe that is really you but she will also be out of town next weekend.

I am sure there are some great people to meet on the web but I have yet to figure out how to discern them from the idiots with computers. We are also at the point of just taking it when it happens and not spending too much effort to try and find it. Swinging is great fun but, we also will continue to have great sex ourselves if swinging never occurs again.

We would swing with the right people every weekend (or daily??) but will not do it just for the sake of new experiences.

We will just take it as it comes I guess.....

[Stratecpl]

Invictus,

These frustrations you tell about are very common occurrences. We think there are a lot of people out there who definitely are not who or what they say they are. Most swinger websites give you the chance to have a free trial membership for a few days before you have to pay for it.... meaning no credit cards, no parents knowing what their 16 year old son is doing on his computer upstairs.....

It's terribly disturbing when you weed through all of the game players and guys trying to cheat on their wives, to find one great-appearing couple. If they pass the test of the phone call (confirming that there are actually two of them) then you try to arrange a meeting. IF they actually show up, you might be shocked to find that the pic you saw of them was them, 20 years ago....

The internet is great for discussing our ideas and thoughts, but it is so easy for people to deceive you. No one really puts their right ages down, and even more list sexual preferences as imaginary ideas rather than what they really prefer. We've all met these types and we've all been disgusted with the results.

There are a lot of really GOOD folks out here, we know that. It's just trying to find who they are that's so difficult. The search sours many attitudes toward swinging. We just shut off the wrong source for awhile so we can recover our senses... LOL

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[kennlea]

well i'm glad that we haven't had the problems that all of you are describing, yes we have had the single/ married male thing but only a few times. the cpls that we have met over the net have been great (the screening process that we put them through is long and intense)since we also don't "cyber" that thins things out quite a bit. the best place we have made connections is the chat room here. (thanks julie) in fact we are going to our first social in years next weekend and met a cpl in the chat room that is going too. When looking at others adds we read the profile closely just because we don't want to lead people on or be led on ourselves. so i think that to meet "good" people online it just takes time. One good way to find out if a couple is for real is to have them take a pic with a sign that has your names on it, this is one way to find out if they are "real" and not a cheater or a 16 yo. just have to say good luck in finding what you are looking for and there is hope. Now if only the regular posters lived closer, most of you sem to be "real" and sound fun
Ken

[MattMann]

We have only met other couples online, we don't even know of a club anywhere near us we could go to, so online ads have been our only source of meeting other swingers. We don't look for single men, so maybe that's why we have not had the problem with inappropriate responses that others have had. Still, we know what you mean about taking a break. In fact we decided to take a break for awhile and it lasted nearly 3 years and we only just got back into placing some ads late last year. Then after meeting a couple for a hike and never hearing back from them even though we tried to contact them, and then meeting with another couple who turned out to be just the sort of friends we were looking for, we seemed to have stopped again. Not because it was so difficult to meet other couples who are sincere, but just because of the incredible amount of work it takes us to be able to have the freedom to go and meet up with people. We don't leave our kids with sitters who aren't family, so we hate to burden our family members very often with watching them while we go out by ourselves and then there is all the explaining to them and the kids about what we are doing that we have to be without them. So once we meet a couple that we like, we don't feel the need to keep looking or have the energy to do it all over again, especially when it might take 2 or more meetings to find if we are compatible and we haven't had much luck just swinging on the first date so to speak. Sol, for those reasons we took down our ads and maybe won't put any back up for awhile, maybe in 10 years, when the last kid has left home, (is that why there are so many 50 and 60 year old swingers out there?).