No more monkeys jumpin' on the bed...

[Spoomonkey]

It looks like the 2004 swinging season is going to wind down a little sooner than we had hoped

Somewhere between work and life - the pursuit of fun-loving bed mates has gotten squeezed out. For the rest of the year, we are going to have to wrestle to stay connected with each other - and realize that swinging just might not fit in so well.

Why am I posting this?

Well - because since we started, this is our first "official" break... It is the first time the two of us sat down and said, "you know what... Things are nuts..." And we realized that with so much flying around us right now there is more chance of us being hasty and careless in our approach to the lifestyle and ending up with a bruise here and there...

And since we've never had bruises we weren't damn happy getting, we figured it was time to pack away the thongs and garters like one might pack away sweaters for summer.

One of the thrills of swinging, I would say, is the aspect of vulnerability. You trust your lover and the strength of your connection - but there is a vulnerability, nonetheless. But - in the same way - working too much makes you vulnerable. Getting too wrapped up in hobbies makes you vulnerable... Hell - it seems like the world conspires to make the most sacred connection more and more vulnerable all the time.

We see two months ahead of us that are absolutely riddled with vulnerability...

And we knew that we would have to manage every single step with great care - and squeeze the life out of every second we would have together... So - we are stepping back... In a great, wonderful, selfish decision - we are hanging up the gloves...

We'll still be here - of course... But our monkeyin' around will be about two people desperately trying to stay connected during a crazy time in their lives...

Hmmm...

Well - at least I know the sex will be great!!!



So - here I go...

Taking my seat on the bench...

Cheering on the rest of the team!

Spoomonkey

[good times]

Bummer dude, don't you hate it when lifes obligations get in the way of your monkey business (fun for the rest of us)? I know how it is though, it seems like the harder we work the behinder we get this year. If the club we go to wasn't a ten minute drive from the house I'm sure we would be joining you on the bench. Hope everything works out better for you in 2005. I hope you don't slack off to much here on the board, the ole place wouldn't be the same without you and Mrs. Spoo.

I hope you guys still find time to post here as often as you do now!!

We have been on bit of a break ourselves. Its been about 2 months since we have done any actual swinging. It wasn't a planned break. Just havent done it.

[EternallySingle]

I know how you feel. For the last 18 months I've had a hell of a time getting women who CHASED ME to commit to going out to shoot pool or have dinner because everyone I know is working a weekend job just to pay bills. Little time for fun, and then its with people you KNOW you're going to have fun with, not someone new. Swinging? Nothing but conversation. Almost joined a party at the beach this summer, but family obligations got in the way of that one. Maybe next year. Concentrating on winning my lawsuit and opening a record store.

On a related note, do you think leather chaps are appropriate for the apparel section or the area downstairs where I'm going to have the black light posters?

[Vespertine]

our monkeyin' around will be about two people desperately trying to stay connected during a crazy time in their lives...

Nothing wrong with that!

There is a time and a place for everything.

If ya'll are so busy that there isn't even enough "you" time, then you are very wise to put ANY hobby on hold. Be it sports, golfing, swinging, ect...

Vulnerable times should always be treated with extra special care.
Anything that detracts the special bond between a couple, should be placed on a back burner until the time is right again.

I admire your insight and keen judgment.
One more demonstration of how wise you two are.

Good luck and enjoy your "YOU" time!

[desert_dwellers]

I just want to say that I immensly enjoy your wit as much as your wisdom. Kinda new to the board but I have read many of your posts and your balanced approach to EVERY subject is what I aspire to do as well. Here's to seeing more of your posts!



-J

[Spoomonkey]

Thanks for the well wishes, guys!

Which is why I'll stick around here

I'd hate to head back into action with a little rust on the whistle!

Mrs Spoomonkey - who is a very, very bad monkey - is saying the we will take a couple of months off... I like the way she keeps me focused!

Spoomonkey

[TNT]

Years ago, before Ted and I even thought about getting into swinging we had a time where things in our lives were just so hectic that we totally lost connection with each other. Family, work, kids, you name it, seemed to be putting a wedge between us. We had become more like room mates, than husband and wife.

Luckily, we recognized what was happening and made a promise to each other that we would take one weekend a month, forget the world and concentrate on nothing but each other. It did not matter what was going on with the family, work, kids...NOTHING stopped us from this one weekend. It was the best thing we ever did...even when things were still hectic we always knew that weekend would be coming up and we looked forward to it.

Even to this day, we still take OUR time, away from the kids, work, family and swinging and nothing interferes with it.

Always remember to make each other the number one priority and you will be able to weather any storm that comes along.

Teresa

[WesternSwing]

I like your healthy approach to the lifestyle (or maybe I consider that because it matches ours much of the time???). Our thoughts on swinging is that it is a part of our life, not our life. So if it happens, great, if it doesn't, so what. We have what matters in our life inside the four walls of our house. Everything else is just frosting on the proverbial sugar cookie of life.

Mr. WS

[mrbandsatl]

Spoomonkey

From our experience, a rest will only bring good. We have taken numerous breaks over the years and each time lead us to a new and unexpected place in our life together. Each time we found ourselves stronger, closer and more focused. Each time we fell in love all over again and each time, we found a better place in the lifestyle.

Good luck to you both. Good to know you are sticking around -- we really enjoy your posts!

Bob (and Sandy)

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Everything else is just frosting on the proverbial sugar cookie of life.

Hmmm... So that's why Mrs Spoomonkey likes it so much...

Me - I am after the proverbial chocolate chunk cookie - actually, two of them, pressed together with a creamy filling...

It is nice to know that the great philosophical searches of life can be fulfilled with a cookie!



Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

BobandSandy & TNT

Thanks for the great advice and encouragement!

This may sound really weak, but since we don't have kids, every weekend is pretty much an us weekend... The conspiracies of the world that are "pulling us apart" would seem minor to those of you with more commitments. But - when you are used to 24 hours a day, you have to sometimes wrestle for 24 hours a day

Spoomonkey

[BradAndJanet]

Hey, you know what? We were all ready to go to the club last night, when the Mrs. said she really didn't feel like going. She was tired from a long week of work and back-to-school activities and just wanted to spend time with me. Was I upset? Hell no...I was flattered. I related your story to her and she nodded in agreement.

So, we went to dinner instead and spent the rest of the evening window shopping (there's a big clearance sale at The Garden next Saturday! ) As we kissed goodnight, she told me she felt 'recharged'.

There will be plenty of time for clubbing later. What's important is our relationship, hands down.

-B

[curiousagain]

Spoomonkeys: Congratulations on keeping your priority list in order!!!
I have always enjoyed your post and hopefully will continue to do so.

Curiousagain

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Our thoughts on swinging is that it is a part of our life, not our life. So if it happens, great, if it doesn't, so what. We have what matters in our life inside the four walls of our house. Everything else is just frosting on the proverbial sugar cookie of life.Mr. WS

Just wanted to put in my two cents worth and thank everyone for your positive responses. Just like WesternSwing this is part of our life, not our life.

I'm sure things will settled down with our schedule eventually and we be back at play with old and new friends but in the mean time we'll still be hanging out here on the board with all of you.

Mrs Spoomonkey