Hanging it up?

[Spoomonkey]

I am wondering - people in the lifestyle almost always talk about how great it is - but then there are a lot of couples who take breaks or leave alltogether because of issues.

What I'd like to know - either from people who have quit the lifestyle (and are still around or have come back) and from those who know people who have left the lifestyle - why quit?

And does quitting solve the problems that led you to quit?

I am curious because we just never hear about the ugly side of swinging, but it is clearly there.

What do you think?

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

I think most people that quit do so for reasons having nothing to do with swinging. Usually it's other life issues, whether it be kids taking up more time, relationship problems, family moving in or something else along those lines.

My ex and I quit swinging about a year before we split up because we realized there were other issues in our relationship that needed to be focused on and those issues (and our relationship) were more important than swinging was, so we opted to stop swinging until those issues could be solved. Obviously (since he's now my ex) we weren't able to solve all those issues. So to answer your question, no quitting swinging didn't solve the issues that led us to quit... but (at this point) I don't really think anything would have.

We havent quit but sometimes the shit we go thru to meet couples and the weeding out we have to do makes swinging not fun. Which completely undermines the entire reason we are in this lifestyle. FUN

Quit ? No. But sometimes the question does come up.

[jcbicouple]

We don't think people quit or take breaks from swinging because of swinging.
If there are things they need to work on in their relationship; You can't work out issues while you're having sex with other people on a regular basis. Minor squabbles, maybe, but not real issues. Plus, we think sometimes people just want time to themselves without others being involved.

[xxoticangel]

We are currently taking a hiatus from swinging ourselves. We had a very eventful, fun filled summer and need time to relax, recharge and reconnect. We made the decision last weekend while we were trying to workout a schedule that would allow us to meet our family obligations, meet a new couples, and still have time for our own relationship. I had a schedule change at work that has me working 5 nights a week and every weekend for the indefinite future. We decided to take a break unless there was no stress involved (i.e. meeting someone on Sunday afternoon when we were already planning on going out).

We havent quit but sometimes the shit we go thru to meet couples and the weeding out we have to do makes swinging not fun. Which completely undermines the entire reason we are in this lifestyle. FUN

Our thoughts exactly. The effort required to meet someone with our current schedule is not worth the potential reward.

[misterbates]

We take breaks all the time,and are seriously considering quitting altogether.
We've been in the lifestyle for eight years now and to be honest with you have yet to meet a couple (or single for that matter) that didnt develop "issues" after a few meetings...it is so frustrating meeting people, sharing things about yourself with them,...getting sexually involved and having them dissapear after 2 or 3 times together....(i know that's why some people go to clubs and just screw people and leave...but thats not us..never was never will be...)not to mention the liars, fakes, wannabe's and just plain old losers out there. It's getting to the point that swinging isnt any fun anymore.No problems in our relationship over it..just can't seem to find sincere people that we are compatible with.. So many times over and over..year after year....it's pathetic already....