How can I open her to the idea of swinging?

[Buck]

Originally posted by Shinjovial
[B
I know she has fantasies(black men, women) and I've made it clear that it doesn't threaten me and I'm willing to explore things with her. However, she seems content to keep that part of her secret, at least for now.
. [/b]

Shinjovial, it sounds like you have planted the seed of thought in her mind if nothing else. I agree with Julie, that maybe at this time it's best to back off and slow down a bit. Your wife is obviously thinking about your suggestions and she needs time to mull them over and think about them. Now, you said you know she has fantasies. How? Has she shared them with you? I might also suggest that you watch some porno movies with her....that could get a discussion going. She may get turned on by them. I can identify with you here. My wife is resistant to swinging but through sharing pornos (which she likes as much as I do) and fantasies, we have come to a state which I am satisfied with and I think she is too. At first, when I introduced the idea (years ago) she reacted much like your wife and as time wore on and she learned to TRUST me in that I would not coerce her into anything she didn't want to do she has loosened up on fantasizing about it. I'm in the "cruise mode" so to speak and at this point I know if she ever changes her mind she will bring it up to me, I won't have to bring it up to her. She knows I would go for it, but at the same time I will not push her toward it. I can live with it status quo at this point because I love her dearly and marriage does involve give and take. She's loosened up about fantasizing and I've not pushed her into amking swinging a reality. Nice compromise point at least for me. When I first started on this board about a year ago I had questions much like yours and the friendly people helped me to understand my situation better and become content about it. Good luck to you.

[frenzb4sex]

Hasn't anyone given any thought to the fact that ricndi and gonefishin is one and the same.....

Both are listed from PA, gonefishin has 1 post and it is very much in the writing style and rhetoric of ricndi....come on guys, don't fall prey to the "baiting", which is exactly what they are doing...


Or perhaps I am just reading too much into it LOL, but to me the writing is on the proverbial wall....


Tim

[Elusive BiFem]

Good point, Frenz...and I wondered, too, after someone else pointed it out to me. Could be....what...what-the-heck! - EBF

[windsor4fun2]

Originally posted by frenzb4sex
Hasn't anyone given any thought to the fact that ricndi and gonefishin is one and the same.....

That was my first thought also, but responding to her is like
head bang .

Jesse

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie
Personally, I think that at this point you've let her know your interest and your best bet is to leave it at that. Slow down to her pace and if it's going to come up again in conversation let her be the one to bring it up.

I couldn't agree with this more. Shinjovial, Mr. O first brought it up to me many years ago. At first I was taken aback. The subject was dropped but the thirst for more knowledge about it remained in my mind as I found the prospect enticing..tho I would never tell him that. Eventually (after a few years) I sought out information on my own and then I brought it back up to him. Imagine his surprise! At the time I only let him know it was a thought, not something I was ready to dive into. After much more searching for information, I found him a couple of sites that I had stumbled on and we began to talk about it more. And after a couple of years, we made the first step. In this case we moved at the pace of the slowest partner...which was me.

This isn't to say that your wife may change her mind later down the road, but you need to give her the space and time to discover if it is something that she might be interested in too. For some it may take weeks for others it may take years. For me it took years.

Good luck and I think you are moving at the right pace.

Mrs. O

PS: As for ricindi and gonefishing...none of that escaped me either. So much for creativity.

[wvcouple4fun03]

Welcome hey buck, maybe she is letting you know there is an interest in swinging and just wants to be sure you aren't going to get upset at her when she wants to further her exploration. it takes two to play as a couple and no room for jealousy, although you will have human and real feelings that you may have to overcome so you too can enjoy the real connection between yourself and your wife. maybe she is willing to allow you to explore your fantasies too and wants your input. not your fears. work it our and maybe you too will enjoy life before it gets away. life is too short to limit oneself to standards set by folks who have never given this lifestyle a chance to blossom. things are great if you share all your feelings and secret desires. every man entertains the thoughts of being with two women at the same time and many watching their wives with another woman or man. even men. many things to play around with together. and together is the key to it all. billy

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by frenzb4sex
Hasn't anyone given any thought to the fact that ricndi and gonefishin is one and the same.....

Indeed, it is very curious that they have the exact same IP address...

-B

[Alura]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
Indeed, it is very curious that they have the exact same IP address...

-B

Hell, I'm just a hick Okie, but it seems to me another Troll has been captured. Saddam on Sunday; a Troll on Tuesday. We're on a roll!

Mr. Alura

[wvcouple4fun03]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
Indeed, it is very curious that they have the exact same IP address...

-B

WOW DID YOU TELL US DUMMIES! HUH? HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN EXPRESS MY VIEWS ANTWAY, MAYBE IT STILL HELPED SOMEONE. Surrender

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
Indeed, it is very curious that they have the exact same IP address...

I never even thought to look at that! What a

Mr. Alura said it best:

...another Troll has been captured. Saddam on Sunday; a Troll on Tuesday. We're on a roll!

See ya around, ricindi and gonefishing...same place, new face...