How I found a way to bring up the subject

[RidesLikeNew]

Hubby and I have talked "around" the subject for years, maybe decades, in our 30 years together, but he always clams up when I ask him to tell me the details of his fantasies, or to talk about actually finding another couple.

I know it's usually the guys who have a hard time getting their wives to talk about it, but I think you could use this with a few modifications in the other direction....

Yesterday, though, I did two things --

1. I bought a "big giant book of erotic photographs of women" (I can't remember the title, but is what something like that, I bought it at Borders in Cincinnati for 19.99, and if you can get it in Cincy, you can get it anywhere) and sat with him and paged through it pointing out the ones I thought were hot. [Men: Try buying a book about sexy massage techniques and showing it to your wife.] I have discovered that there seem to be two questions that men never say no to: Want a blowjob? and Want to see some pictures of naked women? [For women, it's Would you like me to massage your feet while we're here on the couch watching TV? and I just so love the feel of your skin on my hands, will you let me just run my hands over you naked? If you're in a place with her where neither of these gets a yes, sorry to hear that...}

2. The big ice breaker--so I dropped easily into the game we play of "this hotel offers a blow job with morning coffee, would you like that service today?" [Men, try getting up early, making coffee before she wakes up, and offering massage with morning coffee at your hotel.] And when that progressed into more, I said, "Did you ask your wife if i was okay to fuck me?" and he said, "yeah, she's pretty broad-minded about this stuff." And I said, "My husband said it was fine for you to fuck me...but I imagine he's going to want to fuck your wife, is that okay?"

And, with that, we finally were able to talk about wanting to meet another couple, he, believe it or not, had no idea about the internet resources for doing that.

And even though we're in our 50s, we had three different lovemaking sessions that day, discussing plans to possibly meet someone tonight.

Cheers, RidesLikeNew

[ShellyM]

Congrats!! If the fantasy alone charges up your sex life and relationship I say go for it! That is wonderful to hear. For some the "fantasy" is enough. And thats great! Anything that enhances your relationship with your spouse and gives you that kind of spark is A-ok in my book.
Shelly

[likeitalot04]

What a great post Rides!

Finally, someone puts into words what has really worked for them...after reading disaster after disaster it is refreshing to read about someone that has thought it through...you related it in a way your mate could find logic in the thought process and at the same time gave him permission to proceed. OUTSTANDING! I see you as intelligent and sensitive.

Please keep updating this post as you and your husband work through the process from fantasy to reality...it will help all of us that are terrified at bringing the subject up...as you know it is difficult putting the genie back in the bottle!

The BEST of luck to you and yours in your new adventure...please tell us all about it in the same wonderful way you did in this post with emphasis on how you have solved the "problem areas" as they came up.

BTW Rides...I bet you DO ride like new! It is "Attitude, attitude, attitude!"

Hmmm...I find myself fantasizing about your husband and my wife having their first experience together...and you know what that would mean!

Likeitalot04

[SouthBond]

And it just keeps getting better and better. Just wait until you find that special couple to share your wildest dreams. You only thought that you knew about passion. In your 50s is the perfect time of your life to swing. The kids are probably out of the house. You are probably financial secure. You have a deep interest in reigniting the fires of love that you once knew when you first started dating. Now is the time to turn it loose. Help each other find the thrill that each of you seek. It's a fun ride.

[joaninla]

Getting there is three-forths of the fun. If you are like us, talking about the fantasy before, talking about it after it has occured, is almost as fun as the reality. And, all of this is even a little more fun than the foot massage!

[ViSexual]

Rideslikenew,

I'd think I had died and gone to heaven if my wife was more like you!

I'm in my fifties too and can appreciate a perfect wife!

[bethncole]

First of all, we think it's great that you guys have decided to give it a try. As long as you keep the communication open - you'll love it!

Secondly, it is funny now we both hear that it is women that are the ones initiating these "new changes" in their relationships where it used to be men. We think it's awesome.

Keep us posted and let us hear the hot stories :-)