Wife liked the fantasy, would she like the reality?

[njcple]

I finally approached the subject with my wife last night during sex. I covered her eyes and asked her if she liked it she said yes, and i said it was like having sex with a stranger and she went wild. I wispered in her ear how it felt to have someone else inside her and again she was loving it. then she said she enjoyed me inside her. so i was wondering if it was just a natural wife reaction? well thanks in advance for your help.

[Spoomonkey]

You have to realize that there is a big difference between fantasy and reality - even, ultimately, for you...

She may completely get off on you covering her eyes and telling her she is with someone else - but the idea of actually being with someone else is too far out there... No different than Mrs Spoo getting off on the idea of our neighbors hearing us - when the actual idea of neighbors hearing us would be mortifying...

Swinging is a HUGE step for most people. Most women realize just how big - and it scares them. Most men don't realize it - so they run over the cliff stupidly...

Just discuss it with her - listen to her - respect her - and understand that if she says "no" to the whole idea, she may very well be sparing you a world of heartache.

Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by njcple

I finally approached the subject with my wife last night during sex. I covered her eyes and asked her if she liked it she said yes, and i said it was like having sex with a stranger and she went wild. I wispered in her ear how it felt to have someone else inside her and again she was loving it. then she said she enjoyed me inside her. so i was wondering if it was just a natural wife reaction? well thanks in advance for your help.

I'm guessing it was just a natural reaction. It is one thing to play into fantasy with your spouse it's another to make that fantasy a reality. I'd be very careful. You might want to ask her about how she felt when you did that and see what she says.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[sexyshelby]

Dito to the Spoos.

Talk to her about the idea of swinging, when you two are not in the middle of sex. Listen to her and talk openly about it.

~SS

[meandher2go]

ditto to what sexyshelby said

[fun4Ds]

oh yes have to agree with everyone, in the bed play is one thing. but at the table sober,with eyes and ears wide open is going to be something you need to be able to do before swinging. at least you have started to explore the possibilities. be prepared to stop at any time thats the big picture. learn some of the rules and go slow.

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Swinging is a HUGE step for most people. Most women realize just how big - and it scares them. Most men don't realize it - so they run over the cliff stupidly...
Spoomonkey

Damn Spoo, I think you painted this picture extremely well. LMAO!

[nwpacouple16404]

There's always that chance of fantacy becoming reality. I'd say role play with her more. She's aware hopefully that it's just a fantacy for now, let her know that. She might broach the topic and you won't even have to suggest doing it in reality. Role playing is so much fun. I had a few guys do me while I was blindfolded and I loved it.

[WesternSwing]

I agree with the Spoo's and SexyShelby. There is a big difference of a fantasy when you are in safety of your own bed with your own spouse. But the reality can be very daunting. That is why such a small portion of the population is swingers. Many have the fantasy, few actually can effectively act it out.

Mr. WS

[njcple]

thanks for all the great advice!!!

[new2open]

i am new to the lifestyle as well, so please take my advice with a grain of salt

i would do the roleplaying thing again. dont do it late at night when you guys need to go to sleep, so it so conversation afterward can take as long as needed tell her that you noticed how much she was turned on by it, ask if she had considered going further. if she says no then that is exactly it

Worst case senario:
you may recieve some strong backlash for this. she may feel threatened or almost like she has been cheated on just for knowing you thought about this.

Slightly less bad senario
depending on how strong her reaction is this may ruin that roleplaying for her

if she does feel like yes this may be something to do, be open and honest about it.

being new i think that i do have a bit of advice that may seem to slip away to those that have been swinging for quite a while, when my wife and i first started we said that we would not be sucked into the lifestyle. but there is a big lifestyle change, we had always communicated well, but now we go out of our way more to be sure that we know how each other feel about things, swinging related and not.

if this is something that she is not going to be into do not force the issue, no amount of sex is worth the love of your life