how to tell my wife that I have a fantasy of seeing her with another man

One of my most secrete fantasies is to have a threesome with my wife and another man. I would really like to tell my wife about my fantasy but am afraid to bring it up. You may remember that we are only "swing-curious" - never been with another couple or individual. We have discussed a threesome with another woman and couple play but never a m/f/m threesome.

One of my problems is I am not sure of my own feelings. The sight of a man's body doesn't turn me on at all like a woman's does but once aroused, thoughts of contact with another man in the presence of my wife, really excites me.

(Sorry I just had to edit my post... it was a little to personal to be comfortable. (Ln)

[ 05-16-2002, 06:49 PM: Message edited by: L & D ]

[sexypairca]

If you guys are into videos, try renting a bi video and see what her reaction is. She may find the visual of two men together (in a MFM) erotic and that could be an opportunity to explore the subject. You might be surprised at the number of women that find bi male activity arousing.

Just a thought,
"A" the wife.

[M&B]

If you do try the video, watch out!!

We bought a video with bi-male action and B, the she, went wild! Still does, in fact.

Seriously, if this is a fantasy that you want to explore, do try the video idea and ask her, while you are watching and if she is turned on by it, what she thinks about it. Ease into asking how she feels about your feelings. She may surprise you.

M

[anandjeff2]

L&D
let me see if I have this straight..you want to try a MFM but are you thinking about a bi encounter for yourself or is it just the thought of the two of you with your wife that arouses you??If so that is normal..men are very hgihly aroused by visual images and the vision of that is highly erotic. If you think that by being aroused in that type of situation is wierd not really its a sexual charge..

Now if yuo are thinking about doing more with the fella then you prob are acting on a bicuriousity..also normal..although a lot of men think its creepy, men who are truly at home with their sexuality and enjoy the thought/sight of bisexual fmale activity should not be surprised if male activity of the same sort arouses them.. curiosity until satisfied can be a mind boggling thing. So go wirth the flow whatever it is explore these thoughts with your spouse and see what comes of them..VBG

An

[ 05-16-2002, 09:45 PM: Message edited by: anandjeff2 ]

quote:

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Originally posted by anandjeff2:
[
let me see if I have this straight...[/qb]

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I guess in a nut shell what I am really asking is: (1)Is it normal or common for a guy who is not sexually aroused at all by the sight of another man to be very aroused by the thought of another man joining him and his wife in bed for MMF as well as MFM. (2) How should he (if at all) bring this up with his wife.

I think question (2) has been answered but I am not sure of question (1). Guess I am confused and a little scared of my own feelings.

Let me put it this way: I would have no interest at all in going to see a male stripper at a club but if one were to join my wife and me in bed, I would probably want to join her in going down on him. Am I weird or what?

[ 05-16-2002, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: L & D ]

[anandjeff2]

No you're not wierd at all! Just sexual..if you take sexuality in all its context many species will pratcie bisexual acts..so is man any different?Nope.. I think though that you have to talk a bit with your wife and see hwo her reaction would be about the joining in on her games with the other male, but other than that the thougths and feeling are perfectly normal...

An

[M&B]

Len,

Don't torchure yourself over this any more. As said in th post above, you're not weird. You are sexual.

Don't surprised if your wife feels the same way. If she doesn't, then your relationship should be such that you both are able to laugh it off and move on.

Like I said in my earlier reply, my wife saw a video and now its a part of her fantasy! To top it off, she's got me thinking of it, too. So, if you're weird, then so am I!! You'd better not be weird, then. LOL

M

This is one of the greatest message boards I have seen thank you all for your kind words.

[ 05-16-2002, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: L & D ]

[Mike and Jan]

Len, first of all quite a few of us men are curious about the other men's cocks. And, from the responses we've had on our stories about this a lot of the wives are very turned on to seeing their hubby's experiment. Secondly, I agree that a movie or even one of the stories about the subject shared with your wife would be a great way to bring it up..., pun intended! Ok, lastly, you've already said almost exactly who the two of you are already..., so, it's a bit late to hide. LOL! And, wouldn't it be wonderful if the person reading this (who knows you) might just be that couple who you both know, like, and fantasize about already? You know, the ones you'd never have the guts to approach, or they you? Well, now! That's always been one of my fantasies with writing the stories for this site. That friends of ours would read them, recognize us in them, and feel comfortable to come forward and approach us! Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out for you. I'm just waiting, with permission, for that perfect situation to experiment myself!

[R&J]

L&D,

First I'd like to state the fact that by no means I am an authority on the subject. Hell I'm still trying to get my GF to open up to the idea of discussing it outside of the bedroom (she only talks about it during sex), but regardless I have my opinion so I'm going to share it.

I believe things should be done in baby steps. First introduce the idea of MFM through a video, it should not be too difficult since she is already curious about swinging. Once she is comfortable with that idea (maybe even after you have actually done a MFM) introduce the MMF fantasy, again maybe through a video and just watch her reaction and take it from there.

Too much information at once may freak her out. Leave her time for her own sexuality to open up to the idea. Maybe even to the point that she comes to that conclusion without you even stating it (nor making it obvious), basically your just leading the way and giving her time to actually fantisize about it.

R

[ 08-09-2002, 05:29 PM: Message edited by: R&J ]

[Maimas]

Hi, my Name is Jon......long time reader, first time replyer. I am trying to get more info on this subject. I am not married, but I do live with my GF. For quite some time now, I have been wanting to watch her have sex with another man. Not to become swingers or to share each other with other couples or anything like that. I just want to watch her have sex with another man. A stranger preferably, someone that can have her for one night, and poof, be gone forever. How do I approach this and try to persuade her into going out with me and picking up a guy she would like to have sex with, and having a one night stand with him while I watch. The thought of watching another mans cock go in and out of my GF and hearing her moan and seeing it all happen drives me crazy - how do I make it a reality >?

[sexualhealingmn]

Jon -- welcome to our world!

Most people I talk to say its taken Y E A R S to convince their better half (female) to engage in a MFM threesome.

It is my experience that the turning point is when the wife/gf discovers that SEX=LOVE isn't the only formula ...

SEX=ENTERTAINMENT
SEX=ADVENTURE
SEX=INTELLECTUAL STIMULATION

are just some of the equations that, once they discover work well for them, gives them an entirely new perspective on screwing

if your GF is sexually liberated, maybe she already appreciates the other equations. but if she's still focused on SEX=LOVE, then you've got some work ahead of you.

if i was starting over again, i would concentrate on discovering which formula she has in her head, and then introducing her to the others is a safe environment (videos, 'pillow talk', etc.) you'll know when she's ready

good luck.

Mr. S.H.

Cool, thanks for the advice. I don't really want to "enter" any kind of lifestyle or anything, I just want her to be pleased by another man. Maybe I am being selfish, in thinking that it would make me cum harder or something, but maybe she has no interest at all, regardless of the equasion she has in her head. To make a long story short, I just want to watch another mans cock slide in and out of her while she sucks on me. Watching her strecth around another mans hard dick makes me so horny. I want him to get her good and cum inside her.

[youngish56]

Great advice on this thread. Especially the advice about the wife not equating sex with love, necessarily. This was my wife's biggest hangup. Now she admits her feelings that she had repressed and denied for 40 years. She rarely orgasms with another man but she does enjoy and get aroused for my satisfying her. Our first success was a mfm with our best friend who had been without for a while and was easy to recruit.

Now we act like kids. Three of us in a pickup truck with her tits out and her hand on each of our dicks. A quick suck for each of us in a dark restaurant parking lot after dinner. Get the idea, its worth the effort. There is nothing boring anymore, and our relationship isore solid than ever. Go for it, dude.