How to ask my husband to swing ???

[Sara1234]

I am extremely intrested in swinging and know my husband would be to if I approach him in the right way. I don't want him to feel insecure.This is about my fantasies, but I feel that he may not see it that way.I see this as a better solution than cheating or lying. How did some of you bring the topic up tro your spouse's?

[Chip_n_Muffy]

Well, Muffy and I started by watching a few X-rated videos. She went from "Do people really do that?" to "I think I could do that." to "I want to do that!" It seemed like a natural evolution at the time. Looking back at it now, I think maybe I was hoodwinked. And all this time I thought it was my idea!!!

[LikeMinds321]

As I recall, I brought it up during a particularly hot night of sex. I mentioned my desire to know what it would be like to be with another man. I also told Mr LM that I wanted to hear him tell me about the sexual encounters he had had with women before we met.

From there, we talked more about sex, and the fun of it, and my desire spurred his interest, and from there we found the Swingers Board and read all about swinging.

Nine months later we had our first swing.

LM

[BiDrywallChick]

hmmm for me it was the other way around.. my husband brought it up to me. we were never mono while we were dating, so it wasnt a taboo topic in the beginning, it just wasnt in the fore front of my mind either. I think the whole topic came up for us after watching a show on swinging vs poly relationships. Hubby was honest about what he thought was arrousing about it all. I have always been open to new things.. so it was easier for us, i think, than for most. I would suggest warming him up to the idea with some adult movies that have a swinging theme.

[InterestingOnes]

One day I asked my husband if he ever fantasizes about having sex with other women; not any particular woman, but other women in general. He naturally said yes so I brought up swinging. We talked about it extensively and it is one of the best decisions we ever made. We absolutely love swinging. We did get lucky and met wonderful couples.

[SexhoundDog]

I guess the first thing I'd ask is "have either of you ever talked about your pasts with one another?" If he doesn't want to hear about yours, odds might be good that he would be a jealous type and not go for sharing his wife. If he prods you on, perhaps he's interested.

I agree with a few of the posts about watching a few adult movies together. When a good MFM type scene comes on, you could probably say something as simple as "Oooo, she sure looks like she's having fun" and see his reaction.

He may just surprise you. What are your fantasies anyway and have you ever discussed each other's fantasies

[michelle101]

My husband and I are very open with each other, so a few weeks ago when I stumbled across the swingers board, I asked him, Would you mind if I checked out this web sight. ( not asking permission, just showing respect. )
Of course he said he didn't mind and has started reading some threads already.( We haven't done any swinging yet.) I thought this was how I had brought up the subject,that is until he commented on your question.

He said you should do what I had done. A while ago we were in the middle of some hot and heavy sex when out of the blue, one of my biggest and most secret thoughts just popped right out of my mouth. I whispered to him, " I would love to see you do another woman from behind. " ( in slightly different words, but you get the point. ) I had no idea then, but he said just hearing me say that had made him orgasm. Apparently I had brought up the subject back then and not known it. It has to make me wonder if we are as open as I thought. We had a little chuckle over it.

Anyway he suggests the "whisper in the ear approach" says it worked with him. Good luck

[guitarlover]

I wish it had been my spouse who brought up the idea of swinging first, but, she has known my desires for some time. I sometime ago, finally got enough courage to whisper in her ear about sharing her and once the initial shock wore off, she admitted that the fantasy was indeed, exciting. When we found this board, even more communication opened up between us and now we discuss the possiblities nearly every day. We both are extremely turned on by the idea. In fact, while grocery shopping the other day, we were both having trouble focusing on the job at hand, because of our sex talks, and we laughed at how much fun it was.
I think that the knee jerk reaction to sharing sex with others is probably, "Why does he/she desire that? Does he/she just want to pass me off to somebody else, start over, etc.?" My answer to that is an emphatic NO NO NO! I love my spouse more than life itself, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But, pure and simple, I would just love to watch her fuck! She's sooo very hot when she's turned on, and I'd like to share that!
We're obviously, still swing virgins, but, I think if we take it slow and easy, we'll both get 'lucky' before too long.....

[tabu_couple]

My wife brought up the subject about 5 years ago, however we were on cam with other couples, and lucky enough we hit it off with our first. Try xrated videos, magazines, browse the internet for a swinger site and say honey look at this and get his reaction. It worked for us and have been having a blast ever since.

[northindycpl]

We also fantasized about it while we were having sex, often. The more we talked about him watching me have sex with another man the more I wanted to. One day I just blurted it out as we were driving down the raod and he said sure, lets do that.

The rest is history.

[hilltop]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

As I recall, I brought it up during a particularly hot night of sex. I mentioned my desire to know what it would be like to be with another man. I also told Mr LM that I wanted to hear him tell me about the sexual encounters he had had with women before we met. LM

.
Good advice that! It puts things on an even footing
Find a "natural" starting point for the conversation and let things go where they will.

[HotMoCpl]

I guess you need the right approach and that's up to you. But, I will say, if my wife had approached ME with the idea....whew! We'd be gone and running! Good luck.