Sorry to hear that, and I really hope that things get a lot better for you.Originally posted by Tarnished Halo
Having been in the position where my "introduction" was less than charming, loving and presented in a way that my heart almost leapt out of my chest, I would STRONGLY agree that to proceed with caution. A GREAT deal of caution. Had we (or he) done things a whole lot differently, I wouldn't be going through some of the mind bending things that I had to.
That's why I'm so glad that I found this board as the advice has been great. I can't imagine how people years ago without these resources got the help they needed.
[B}The bottom line (not to be mean) is that you do want to have sex with another woman, but hopefully, you can do so in a way that doesn't demoralize and endanger your relationship.[/B]
I had to think about this long and hard as I didn't want to come across wrongly. However, my coming across the book was just an occurance. Up to that time, I was not looking for variety in sexual partners nor was I even thinking about having sex with any other women. Sure the very fact of swinging means that this would/may occur and yes that sounds like a lot of fun, but it's not the primary reason that I have started to explore this. My No.1 reason would be for the potential benefits to our relationship as we become able to be erotic together and discuss anything and everything. The other reasons are the sense of community and belonging to a group of people who I would respect for their liberal views as well as the desire to see my wife experience untold joys and experience some myself. It's certainly not just about me having sex with other women.
Having been married for 20+ years, it is very important to let her know (assuming that she is important to you and you don't want to lose her or your relationship over being anxious to start swinging) that this is something that you BOTH can do, and there are benefits to her (I am still trying to figure that one out, I am very well aware of the benefits to my husband). Perhaps you can avoid the pit that I fell into.
If we couldn't do it together, I wouldn't want to do it at all. I haven't looked for any other sexual fulfillment in my life except with my wife and if it wasn't for reading that book I still wouldn't be. I genuinely believe there are benefits to both of a couple of getting rid of the dirty, naughty, wrong embarassing feelings of sex that I was certainly brought up with.
Yeah everyone....it's been a rough weekend so far. I just had to add my caution too.