What is considered too personal?

[nc_couple_28304]

Hope this doesn't sound choppy not really sure how to word my thread right ..so here goes.

hubby and i went to a bar recently with another couple. We rode together and once we got into the parking lot and out of the car. The wife of the other couple grabbed my hubbys hand and proceeded to walk to the bar hand in hand with him.

Now we have known this couple for a while and consider them friends and well as more. However, this one simple gesture still seemed to "irk" me and yes that nasty green-eyed monster popped out his ugly head.

My hubby feels that kissing is too personal, yet i feel it is just another great part of sex. So I was really thrown by the g.e. monster on hand holding!

Of course once we got to the door, they stopped holding hands and we proceeded to enjoy the night and I have talked with hubby and we have decided to add that to our rules.

But since this is the first time this has ever come up with us I am curious on if other couples have other "rules" on specific touching or otherwise they consider should be kept between themselves.

[OhioCouple]

It is amazing how much I have learned (prior to having to deal with it, in the last couple of months) about personal boundries. I have learned that it would bother me for my husband or myself to 'cuddle' with the opposite partner after sex and I can say that it would bother me to have my husband hold hands with another woman. Now mind you, we can fuck, kiss and suck in every possible scenario and we can put our arms on the shoulders of, or even hook around their waists.... but cuddling (in like a going to sleep type scenario) and holding hands would bring up pangs of jealousy for me.

I see both cuddling and even the holding of hands (as if you were boyfriend/girlfriend) as ones of crossing my personal boundries.

Hey, BTW, welcome to the board! Thanks for bringing this question up!

[thump29]

Hi and welcome to the board! I have to agree with Ohio Couple on this, holding hands and cuddling after sex is way too personal for us. We always set rules before we do anything so it makes it easier but you never know when something like you said will come up and bother you. Like Ohio Couple stated we do everything from kissing and sucking and etc but somethings are just meant to be between the two of you.

[Roxysbayou]

I would have to say it goes with whatever makes you feel comfortable. I found myself feeling that way about a year ago. Hubby and I were out with a single female and she was "all over" my hubby at the bar that we were at. Others thought that he was her husband and I was just tagging along. I felt so bad that I ended up sitting at the bar by myself for a while. And a man came over to chat with me and was shocked when I said that I was with my husband. I was so embarrassed. I now have a big rule about public settings. I think it's about respect, at least for me. I took their actions as being disrespectful to me.

[fun_pairTX]

When someone wants to play with my heart instead of just my naughty bits...........................................

[naughty A]

I think it is better NOT to have public displays of affection like hand holding/kissing etc in public in NON swinger settings... after all you don't know who else might be seeing what is going on... sure it is risque and naughty but it is also uncomfortable if you run into a co-worker or your cousin.

too personal... for me.... attempts to draw me away privately or conversations that deliberately set out exclude the other person/s... although sometimes I have been guilty of this... especially when one half of a couple is saying one thing and the other half something else...

the other thing that is too personal... maybe more of a pet peeve... people who ask where do you work/what do you do immediately after meeting you.... hello? I'm not here to promote my business or to network for clients or to provide you with an easy way to blackmail me... if it comes up in conversation after I've known you more than ONE night than fine but it is not a good conversation starter in MY opinion.

[JustAskJulie]

Could it be that it wasn't so much the hand holding but the PDA (Public Display of Affection) that got you riled up? That she seemed to be saying IN PUBLIC "this is my guy"?

I've never taken issue with kissing... and even when saying goodbye depending on how daring we all feel it doesn't bother me if we all make our rounds so to speak. But I too would be uncomfortable if the male of another couple wanted to hold my hand or vice versa. THat would just be weird.

[nc_couple_28304]

Thank you for the warm welcome. Yes julie I definately think it was the PDA that caused the g.e.m to come out.

Otherwise i probably wouldn't have even given it a second thought.

Thanks for everyones great responses

[alabamafuntonig]

pda gem well hand holding is out for us also . were swinging not dating. but to each his own i guess . im sure the other women did not feel the same on this subject as you and thats not all that bad! she was just more comfortable with the thought of hand holding and a more intemite bond than you (i think) It sounds like you have a great couple to play with im sure if you and the lady friend have a small talk on what rules you try to follow future gem's will be some what avoided! kissing on the lips is out for us also .. some rules are hard to follow and sometimes the line gets crossed but if everone is comfortable with them the night is usualy more fun!

my 2 cents i got 98 more to spend on a nother reply!

[jen]

Bamma bam bam,

Lemme know when your .98 runs out, I'll give you a dollar if you promise to keep the funny parts in all of your responses.

You crack me up.

<img src="http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/otn/angels/littleangel.gif">

[Elusive BiFem]

Interesting...now see, hand holding wouldn't bother me in the least. I guess because I am a "hand holder" - old, young, men, women, children. Not with total strangers, but with people I know. I've never thought twice about it. Maybe I will now. But probably not. - EBF

[jewel2]

I would have to agree with the hand holding in public. We had a threesome with a single female at our home and she kept taking him to another room - away from me! It made both hubby and I uncomfortable. We were not sure what to say, so we just "winged it" and managed to have a great time anyway, but there were a few tense moments...

[alabamafuntonig]

everyone has there litle things that make them a little tense! i dont mind hugging but like i said kissing is out. so it only goes to show everone is a little weird in there own way..

[jen]

[quote]
everone is a little weird in there own way..

Bama bam bam,

This is so very true. Cept me of course, I'm completely normal, not at all weird, very much ordinary, is anyone convinced yet? Anyone...

About being too personal, I'd have to say (typing without experience) if they start wearing my panties, I think thats too personal. Or if they asked me to wear theirs....eewwww.

<img src="http://66.227.101.70/otn/angels/newangel.gif">

[thekolonel]

For us, anything goes in threesome situations. When we "date" a woman there's usually kissing, PDA, hand-holding, etc. going on, but we're careful to make sure the affection is spread evenly so no one gets the wrong idea. I like the PDA actually. People give us funny looks. In couples situations it usually stops at kissing in private, although we haven't ever really "dated" another couple so I don't know whether we'd feel comfortable with more.