Setting boundaries on first experience

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by cyasoon

My question is, we have met a single male that my wife is attracted to. I personally don't mind who she picks as long as they are clean and civil. However this is where I run into my question. I thought our first experience would be with a couple. At least that is what I had planned on.

Hi Cyasoon,

I just wanted to briefly answer this part. In swinging, it's best if both of you are 100% on board with any partner(s) you choose. Deciding who you're going to include needs to be a joint decision. You said that you don't mind who she picks - but what about picking together?

You wish you could start out with a couple -- have you told your wife this? If you feel this way, tell her. There's nothing wrong with both of you getting what you want out of this. In fact, it's important that you do. Resentments, jealousy, feeling left out - these feelings can happen, and can cause problems between you, if you compromise and leave the decision-making to one spouse.

You could pursue a couple you're both attracted to for your first experience, and you could put the MFM on the back burner for a later date, if this feels right for you. Best wishes.

[Lovers4U]

Here again we think it is important to communicate openly with anyone who you expect to be intimate if there is any limits you desire. We try to play only with friends but we know that is not always possibly and then we say no or just let it happen. As someone stated. desires of some can be pushy and being uncomfortable is no way to be intimate with anyone. Again if the oral gets each excited that one wants intercourse and the comfort rises then go for it. The problem we see if the possible guilt feeling afterward when you realize the hormones overcame the limits. Decide and stick with the decision and hope the guy will want to play later after the comfort level rises.

[cyasoon]

UPDATE!!!!

Okay so here we are. We have together decided a single male, although fun just isn't for us right now. We are going to sit and find a couple who we may find attractive to us and see what happens. When I said "who she chooses" what I mean is I usually look around and find guys that I think she would be interested in and that I would agree to. So the part about as far as who she chooses means as long as we both agree and there may be a few to choose from then I don't care which one she chooses. I understand that women may find some guys more attractrive than others. Just like men do women. I know her taste is not mine and mine is not hers. She is actually surprised at some of the women I have looked at and says " I would have never of thought". But here we are back to square one. That's alright though. If for some reason we don't find what we are looking for than there is always tomorrow.

Thanks for all the input and your help.