Does it bother you if you can't see/touch your partner?

[LikeMinds321]

How many of you "same-room swing" couples get antsy if, during play, your spouse heads off to the bathroom to take a shower with the other woman?

Or maybe your spouse is not in view during play because he's on the floor with the other woman while you're on the bed?

And I'm even curious about when they are in view, but not near enough to touch, does that bring on discomfort for one of the couple you're playing with?

Anybody see this happening with their playpartners, or find this happening with themselves while playing?

LM

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

How many of you "same-room swing" couples get antsy if, during play, your spouse heads off to the bathroom to take a shower with the other woman?

For us, this doesn't happen. We actually discussed the "shower" scenario and weren't comfortable with it. We all play/stay in the same room.

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Or maybe your spouse is not in view during play because he's on the floor with the other woman while you're on the bed?

If you are having sex with someone, you are going to focus on them. Glancing over at Mrs Spoo, catching her twinkling eyes and seeing her "damn, I'm having fun" smile, are incredible. But, it is not like I stare at ther the entire time I'm with a playmate.

You could poke the wrong thing doing that...

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

And I'm even curious about when they are in view, but not near enough to touch, does that bring on discomfort for one of the couple you're playing with?

No. We will play on seperate beds - or other assorted pieces of furniture. Touching is really nice, but it isn't always practical.

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Anybody see this happening with their playpartners, or find this happening with themselves while playing?

We are probably the oddballs. We always do same room - for the very reason that doing this together is the turn on for us. But we have never had an experience where the couple we were with didn't pay attention to us. And, I would venture a guess that the couples that we have played with were quite satisfied by the amount of attention we paid them.

Spoomonkey

[MrXxotic]

We are always same room but are ok if we are out of touch/sight. We don't stop playing if one of us gets up to go to the bathroom or refill the ice bucket. Many times the girls have continued playing or taken a shower together while the guys "recharged" or went out for drinks. What we won't do is "You two go in there and fuck while we go in here and fuck".

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by MrXxotic

...Many times the girls have continued playing or taken a shower together while the guys "recharged" or went out for drinks. What we won't do is "You two go in there and fuck while we go in here and fuck".

So what you are saying is that it's okay if the women fuck out of sight, but not male/female fucking? This is were I'm somewhat perplexed. What is the concern or should I use a stronger word "threat" if the man and woman are together then?

Is there a perceived safety of no relationship developing when two woman play?

Is there a perceived worry that if a man and woman play they will develop too close a relationship?

My questions aren't designed to imply there is anything wrongn with your choice, I'm just trying to understand that thinking.

LM

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

For us, this doesn't happen. We actually discussed the "shower" scenario and weren't comfortable with it. We all play/stay in the same room.

I like you to elaborate on this rule, if you can.

LM

[TNT]

Even though we are basically "same room play", it doesn't really bother us if the other is not within sight range or touch range and with same room play, it's kind of hard to be out of hearing range.

The last two play sessions we had were in separate rooms...which even though was not planned just worked out that way and didn't bother either of us. I will add that both times were with a couple we are extremely close to, so that did play a part in it...with a couple we didn't know well, separate room play probably is not going to be an option.

We perfer same room in that we greatly enjoy listening, seeing and touching each other but...it's not always a necessity as we have recently found. We've discovered that even if we can't see, touch or hear each other...we are greatly connected in our minds no matter the distance involved.


Teresa

[MrXxotic]

Likeminds,

It isn't a security issue at all. There have been times I have left Angel alone with a guy/couple while I went for ice, return an important phone call, check in with the sitter, etc. She has surprised a single male while he was in the shower and I was watching TV. We want to be able to see each other and join in if we want to. We actually prefer the group thing with everyone in the same bed but realize that this is not always possible. We definately do not seperate and play behind closed doors. Neither one want to be excluded from the others play.

[good times]

Originally Posted by TNT

We've discovered that even if we can't see, touch or hear each other...we are greatly connected in our minds no matter the distance involved.

Dito Teresa, we have found the same thing.

Same room, separate room, it is all fun to us. In fact, that is why I did not answer this thread the first time I read it. After thinking about it though, I realized that we too have our limits. We would have to be within easy reach of each other. In other words, we would not play separate houses, or if one of us had to run out to the store, the other would not play until they came back. This is just a safety/comfort thing for us, in the unlikely event, that something should go wrong or get out of hand, we both want to be there.

[marybear]

I understand what everyone is saying. My question would be as a first timer is there a larger possability for jealousy issues is to come up?

[Lumina]

The Mr. and I discussed this the other day when I asked him about the baking cookies scenario brought up in the ED thread. At the moment it's just something he's not comfortable with. It's not about a relationship developing; it's that he's my protector. On the small chance the guy gets too rough with me, he wants to be there to kick ass. I hadn't thought of the bathroom thing, though. If he's not done and I gotta pee....

Even if safety weren't a concern, we'd probably still be same room. For all the reasons Spoo put so nicely.

[Lumina]

Originally Posted by marybear

I understand what everyone is saying. My question would be as a first timer is there a larger possability for jealousy issues is to come up?

I would expect so. I've read a lot of stories where this happened, anyway. Even if we were planning on separate room play, we'd start out in the same room first.

[intuition897]

We've done separate room play and it had its charms. I found it kinda kinky because it was left to your imagination what was going on in the next room. This could cause serious jealousy issues, though, if you're prone to it.

During that particular play session, we included both same and seaparate room. We don't have a preference; it doesn't make much difference to us. Just whatever strikes our fancy. Depends greatly on your partners, I think.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

How many of you "same-room swing" couples get antsy if, during play, your spouse heads off to the bathroom to take a shower with the other woman?

We wouldn't do that kind of thing unless we were totally comfortable with a couple in which case we wouldn't be antsy.

Or maybe your spouse is not in view during play because he's on the floor with the other woman while you're on the bed?

Thats not a issue really. Everyone is in 'earshot' so to speak.

And I'm even curious about when they are in view, but not near enough to touch, does that bring on discomfort for one of the couple you're playing with?

Never was an issue even from the beginning.

Anybody see this happening with their playpartners, or find this happening with themselves while playing?

LM

We used to be same room only, but have moved to seperate provided the couple in question are true friends. I think other than your first shower question, most well adjusted same room couples wouldn't have a problem. I'd be a little....umm...concerned if a couple felt they had to be in touching distance at all times or freak out.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I like you to elaborate on this rule, if you can.

It is really pretty simple - when Mrs Spoo and I take a shower together, there is always some level of play; usually light since there just isn't much appeal for us to have sex in the shower.

So - Mrs Spoo taking a shower with a playmate would mean - for us anyway - play. And since we always play together, and have a very small shower, we don't shower with our playmates.

You asked in another response what was the "threat". Honestly, I think that is very much the wrong term. I am not really threatened by her playing alone - I just don't enjoy it. Same with her. It would make us uncomfortable - but more importantly it just doesn't appeal to us.

I am not threatened that Mrs Spoo will "fall" for a playmate. I am very confident in our relationship. Despite a perception (posted a few times around here) that same room only couples are somewhat less evolved, mature or ready to move beyond "swinging 101" - swinging for us is about "us". Because of that we do what will make the experience exciting for "us". Why do anything any different? Why play in more "advanced" ways if it doesn't enhance your enjoyment of the sexual adventure?

As I have said before - I think "mature" swinging isn't being able to do certain things (like playing seperately). "Mature" swinging is the ability to know what you enjoy - what you are comfortable with; being able to communicate that effectively with your spouse; and then doing just that. "Mature" swingers make swinging work for them

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I think other than your first shower question, most well adjusted same room couples wouldn't have a problem.

Here's where the issue gets a little personal. What does it mean to be "well adjusted"? A couple who is same room only is less adjusted? How so? I would think a couple who is intimately in touch with their interests, comfort zones and partners would be quite well adjusted.

Is a base jumper any better adjusted than the run of the mill skydiver?

Spoomonkey