Doing things with a swap partner that you don't do with your spouse

[graygo98]

"C" also. And, it might not just be technique that leads to the pleasurable experience, but a response triggered by being just really excited by the novely/eroticism of the situation. And that, after all, is why we do it. Because the situation is just such a thrill.

The other example, where the woman let the other man pleasure her orally but wouldn't let her husband? Does that really happen? There are women who won't let their man go down? Something that might be more common (cause its the theme of about 100,000 Literotica stories) is the wife who won't give her husband a blowjob going down on another man. I can imagine that because the lifestyle seems to really break down boundaries for folks once they start letting loose. Anyone seen that happen?

As to rules, yeah, I agree with the post above. Too many rules and its WTF? Rules that relate to how much risk you are willing to take on (rubbers, for example) or activities that you don't enjoy (anal, maybe) are understandable. But, kissing because its too intimate? Or stroking your partner's face while she performs oral on you? No disrespect to those who feel differently, but having sex with someone is a pretty intimate thing, unless its with a pro in some by-the-hour hotel.

[camelsmilk]

My issue is a little different. All of the things about and reasons for swapping are great. But sometimes I get the remark "he can do it well but you(we) should not try to recreate it". You should not try to be him.Which I'm not, but I can tell how much she enjoys it and would like to replicate/recreate in my way that same enjoyment. That's on her side. As for me, I try to give her all the information to do option "c" because its fun with others, but great with my SO.

[dutch51]

Originally Posted by graygo98
As to rules, yeah, I agree with the post above. Too many rules and its WTF? Rules that relate to how much risk you are willing to take on (rubbers, for example) or activities that you don't enjoy (anal, maybe) are understandable. But, kissing because its too intimate? Or stroking your partner's face while she performs oral on you? No disrespect to those who feel differently, but having sex with someone [B

is[/b] a pretty intimate thing, unless its with a pro in some by-the-hour hotel.

That's pretty much what we think. Personally, we don't play with couples who have the "no kissing" rule just because it seems like there are other issues that go along with it-we'd rather just avoid that. If you can't kiss someone, I don't see how you can possibly do anything else with them.

As for the OP, I don't think we worry too much about showing excitement. We can have a great, erotic evening with a couple, but we know no one else is going to make either of us feel the way our spouse does, so it's okay to just have some fun. We don't do anything with our swap partners that isn't allowed between us. There may be new techniques, or just things we haven't thought of, but those become great learning experiences we can always try later. There are things we do that we may not do with swap partners however. We would hope that as far as the other couple is concerned, they aren't doing anything with us that is forbidden or discouraged between them- that just seems like asking for trouble.

[JustAskJulie]

Why would you want to do something with a new partner that you Don't or Won't with your regular partner? Unless it's a situation where your regular partner doesn't want to but you do. But if you won't do something with your mate, why do it with a date?

I know of couples where say hubby loves butt sex but wifey won't do it, however he's allowed to do it with other women they swing with (if they are open to it, of course), and I know of couples where wifey WILL NOT let her husband come in her mouth and HOW DARE HE think he can do it to someone else. That last one bewilders me a bit, but hey, everyone's rules are different.

What it comes down to is that you need to set boundaries with YOUR partner so that you are both comfortable, then you need to make sure that those you intend to swing with are aware of those boundaries and that you are aware of theirs, and work within them.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by camelsmilk

The best example would be that the male doesn"t let his wife perform oral sex on him but allows a partners to do it or vice versa, is that kosher? or, if the husband reacts ecstatically to an act that the swing partner does with him, much differently than he reacts to the wife doing the same act with him

He's an ass, and if the roles were reversed my opinion would still be the same. Basically, he is saying to his partner, you don't know how to give head so rather than work with you and talk to you and tell you what I like and don't like about how you do it, I'm just going to make you sit by and watch while they do it.

He has no care for her feelings in this situation and is going out of his way to make her feel bad.