THAT time of the month (ladies please)

[blondie77]

OK ladies...I've got a question for you. I am extremely irregular and only get my period a few times a year (long story), so I never know when it'll come. So my question is this: When and if I get my period before meeting a couple for actual sex, how do I tactfully postpone the date without upsetting anyone? I often won't know until the last minute, and I would hate to cancel on a date the day of and have them think I was just making excuses. I know maybe this is a silly topic, but it is a real concern for me. Anyone else have this problem, or anything embarrassing happen on a "date" during that time of the month? Or perhaps there is something I could take to stop it for a few days? Any help, advice, stories or ideas would be appriciated. Thanks!

[TLO7777]

Just be honest! It's nothing to be embarassed about.

Keep in mind that any couple you're meeting with is faced with the exact same circumstance on occasion so one would ever fault you for this.

[MoonLightKiss]

I agree with TLO7777, just be honest about it. If you start, you start. It can happen to anyone at anytime...and noone will hold it against you. Just tell them like you tell the husband, "sorry darlin, no can do..." I can almost promise you the response will be "sure no problem some other time, maybe next week?"

[The Fuse]

In a few other threads on this board (sorry, I don't have the time to look right now), there has been mention of a product called "Instead". It's pretty much a disposable diaphragm-like a softcup, but it's sold as an alternative to pads or tampons.

I'd like to emphasize that it is not for birth control and does not protect against disease. But it does catch mentrual fluid like a diaphragm would, and keeps it higher up than anywhere involved in sex , until you take it out later. I haven't used it yet, but I plan to during my next period.

I figure I'll put it in a few hours before going out, and then "get clean". Then I suppose for purposes of sex, it will be like I just finished my period. There is always the risk of leakage (one-size-fits-all), and I read online that there is a chance your partner could feel it if he's that long, and also a small risk that it could move and become uncomfortable. I hope none of that happens, but it's a risk I'm willing to take, after telling my partner of course.

You can buy it at most drugstores (I found it at Rite-Aid). It's with the maxipads and tampons. They say you can wear it for up to 12 hours, but I doubt I'd want to keep it in for that long.

Sorry for the rushed message-- I hope this helps or at least gives you some information.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by blondie77

So my question is this: When and if I get my period before meeting a couple for actual sex, how do I tactfully postpone the date without upsetting anyone?

I'd like to ask you this question. Would you be comfortable having sex during your period if your partner was okay with it?

There are men who have no problem with it as long as you are comfortable. Some women have said they enjoy sex more during their period.

I think what you do depends on how heavy your menstrual flow is and if you are open to considering play during that time. As it has been said, having your period arrive by surprise can happen to any woman, so first I think it's important to get comfy with viewing this as normal and part of what comes along when swinging.

If you have set a definite date to play I'd imagine you would know these people well enough already to sense how they will respond to a call explaining your 'surprise' situation. Be open and honest with them. You might even discuss this before it happens, that way you'll all be ready for how to handle it when it comes. You'll also be more relaxed, and that always makes sex better.

LM

[blue_eye_blonde]

I have to agree with the others and just be honest about it, I'm sure that they will understand. I am very irregular and never know till the day b4 when the cramping start, so I'll go on the birth control pill so I'll know when I'll be coming on my period and I'll be able to make plans around it with no worry.

[blondie77]

Thanks to all of you who answered! In answer to the question that was posed...I don't mind having sex on my period and my hubby doesn't either....but I have to assume that a couple we might play with, no matter how close we are, wouldn't want to...haha. I wil have to try the Instead...I haven't heard about that before. Doesn't hurt to try it anyways. I know that it might have been an obvious question...but unlike the ladies who get theirs every month, I just have no idea when it will start or end, so it's quite a pain. Anyways, thanks again.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

We used the "instead" cup for the first time this past weekend. We wanted to try it out because... well not even considering playmates, it can be a long few days to a week for us monkeys

Some things I have learned from personal use and recommending it to a friend...

1. It says you can leave it in for up to 12 hrs, however base it on what your flow is (heavy day/light day). My friend put it in, spent the day doing things then when she took it out she had a flooding mess. It does not absorb it dams it up so when you take it out anything it has been holding back comes flowing immediately

2. Make sure you put it in correctly. The box shows a sitting position but I couldn't get it in far enough and Spoo hit it with just his fingers. It still worked but made it a little uncomfortable and awkward. The second time I used it I stayed standing and made sure it was all the way in and out of reach. I couldn't feel it once it was in correctly and it didn't bother me during sex. Spoo could still feel it a little, but not with his fingers but it didn't interfer with any of our wild monkey sex

3. You can find it even at the grocery in with all the maxipads etc. or any drug store.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[hfire269]

You could also just do oral things to everyone else.. lol Most people would understand that Aunt Flow is showing her face again and let it at that. I am irregular as well and that works for us. Unless of course kissing and oral and touchy feelly things arent in your boundries.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

We used the "instead" cup for the first time this past weekend. We wanted to try it out because... well not even considering playmates, it can be a long few days to a week for us monkeys

Some things I have learned from personal use and recommending it to a friend...

1. It says you can leave it in for up to 12 hrs, however base it on what your flow is (heavy day/light day). My friend put it in, spent the day doing things then when she took it out she had a flooding mess. It does not absorb it dams it up so when you take it out anything it has been holding back comes flowing immediately

2. Make sure you put it in correctly. The box shows a sitting position but I couldn't get it in far enough and Spoo hit it with just his fingers. It still worked but made it a little uncomfortable and awkward. The second time I used it I stayed standing and made sure it was all the way in and out of reach. I couldn't feel it once it was in correctly and it didn't bother me during sex. Spoo could still feel it a little, but not with his fingers but it didn't interfer with any of our wild monkey sex

3. You can find it even at the grocery in with all the maxipads etc. or any drug store.

Mrs Spoomonkey

Mrs. Spoomonkey,

Thanks for the information!

[OttawaCuple]

Originally Posted by hfire269

You could also just do oral things to everyone else.. lol Most people would understand that Aunt Flow is showing her face again and let it at that. I am irregular as well and that works for us. Unless of course kissing and oral and touchy feelly things arent in your boundries.

That's what I'd suggest as well. I can't imagine anyone who'd be upset at being asked to lie back and just enjoy your oral attention

Mrs OttawaCuple

[DGrey]

I've used the Instead cup with great success. Even when it's inserted properly, it can still be felt by your partner. I've let the people we played with during its use know that it was there and it wasn't a big deal.

E