Sexual Turn offs

[MrXxotic]

Saturday we celebrated Angel's birthday like we always do, with a MFM. We made arrangements with a single guy we have played with on other occasions but, due to scheduling conflicts, had not seen in over a year. Everything was set, we had a hotel room about half way between our homes, drinks on ice, some snacks for downtime, etc. We arrived in the late afternoon to give her time to bathe, shave, etc. He was due to arrive around 7 because we had to have the sitter back home by midnight. She and I teased and played around waiting for him to show. He called from the parking lot to get our room number and I could see the excitment in her eyes. I could see the excitment in her eyes and just hoped I was up to the challenge <EG>

Long story a little shorter, he walked in and I could see the dissappointment in her face. Angel has three definate turn offs one is facial hair, the other is shaved heads, the third is pot bellies. Anyway our friend, who was clean shaven and had longish curly dark hair the last time we saw him, had grown a goatee and shaved his head. She went ahead and played but she refused to kiss him, would not allow him to go down on her, and would only have sex with him doggy style. Our evening or pleasuring her turned into one round and her faking a phone call to get us out of there. On the way home she apologized said that she could not get over the way he looked. If he had not been a previous partner she would not have looked at him twice despite his other physical and personal attributes.

My question is...Is there anything so physically repulsive that you just can't get around it no matter how well everything else goes? Also, should we have told him what she was thinking or just gone through the motions like we did?

[DBL D]

I wonder about that myself. I move between a goatee and clean shaven. A completely different look. We'll be seeing a couple who's never seen me with out something on my face. I hope they are okay with it. We let everyone know in our profile the state of things but they aren't on our site. We'll know later this weekend.

Pays to keep in touch I guess. Send photos.

Male D

[curiousagain]

What is a turn on for one is a turn off for another, just a fact of life. This is a reminder to us all that if we haven't seen some one in quite a while to get a recent photo, and for us all to keep recent photos handy to send also.

[northindycpl]

If the woman isn't smooth. NO WAY! I cannot stand (to the point of feeling queezy) a woman that doesn't pay close attention to shaving her legs, pits or bush. It bothers me so much that before we even play with a couple, I will often run my hand up her leg, just to check

I hate the feeling of accidentally brushing against her in play and feeling that stubbly mess....

The other one is men that smell. And I don't mean just of BO. Men sometimes smell sweaty, or musty or have too much cologne on. Those are also no-go's.

I hope you atleast did everything you could to make your wifes birthday the best you could. I can understand her disappointment!

[BodyScape02]

Body odor, hairy balls and overly hairy men (hirsute)... ie back hair that goes down to and is on their derrière), big pot bellies ( little ones are ok with me) and too many tattoo's with evil themes... they all just turn my right off.

Oh and comb over’s... because I just can't quit laughing and seeing that pizza commercial for thin crust Digorno pizza in my mind)

For women... it is more about sensuality, so it is the crass aspect of talking like a truck driver or a biker that turns me off. I like sophisticated women, who take time to groom. Another physical turn off would be obesity... and big hairy pre- 70’s bushes...lol

We all have our little quirks... what turns me cold... makes someone else hot as hell.

[txduo2000]

Originally Posted by MrXxotic

Saturday we celebrated Angel's birthday like we always do, with a MFM. We made arrangements with a single guy we have played with on other occasions but, due to scheduling conflicts, had not seen in over a year. Everything was set, we had a hotel room about half way between our homes, drinks on ice, some snacks for downtime, etc. We arrived in the late afternoon to give her time to bathe, shave, etc. He was due to arrive around 7 because we had to have the sitter back home by midnight. She and I teased and played around waiting for him to show. He called from the parking lot to get our room number and I could see the excitment in her eyes. I could see the excitment in her eyes and just hoped I was up to the challenge <EG>

Long story a little shorter, he walked in and I could see the dissappointment in her face. Angel has three definate turn offs one is facial hair, the other is shaved heads, the third is pot bellies. Anyway our friend, who was clean shaven and had longish curly dark hair the last time we saw him, had grown a goatee and shaved his head. She went ahead and played but she refused to kiss him, would not allow him to go down on her, and would only have sex with him doggy style. Our evening or pleasuring her turned into one round and her faking a phone call to get us out of there. On the way home she apologized said that she could not get over the way he looked. If he had not been a previous partner she would not have looked at him twice despite his other physical and personal attributes.

My question is...Is there anything so physically repulsive that you just can't get around it no matter how well everything else goes? Also, should we have told him what she was thinking or just gone through the motions like we did?

I know you are asking about everyone's turn-offs here and not looking for comments or opinions on the situation you described with your wife's birthday "party" .... but please forgive me if I do ask a couple questions, just out of curiosity. And please feel free to tell me if you don't care to answer my questions because it's none of my damn business .... lol.

Had you guys played with this guy on many occasions previously? What I am getting at, was there some type of "established" relationship? Some sort of relationship even resembling friendship or was this guy simply a "single guy toy"?

We have a single guy that we have known for a couple years. And I just luv him to death! He is sweet, kind, respectful, knows his boundaries, errs on the side of caution when in doubt of anything, and just overall a very even-tempered, mild-mannered guy.

When we first met him about 3 years ago, it was at a house party, and he was totally HOT! Clean-shaven, slender build, classy dresser. We only played with him that one time at the party where we all met, though we did keep in occasional touch through online chat, before hubby and I went on an extended break from the lifestyle.

When we re-entered the lifestyle earlier this year, we looked him up and arranged for a get-together at our home ... easy because he lives in our town. I barely recognized him, partly due to it being so long since we had seen him last and also because his appearance had changed a bit. Granted, he did still have an active profile up on sls and sdc, and they both had recent pics of him, so it wasn't like a total shock like what your wife apparently experienced. But, it was still like looking at a stranger ... he had gained a little weight (not much really, but noticeable), was now sporting this weird little chin-only-beard thingy (lol), and his hair seemed to be lighter (though it was still there, and the same length ... lol). It was a casual meeting, not a party environment, so he was dressed more casually when we had first met, so that's not really an issue.

What I am saying is that we like this guy as a PERSON ... for so much more than his appearance and his abilities. Granted, I will admit that if he had changed SUBSTANTIALLY ... like gained 100 pounds, had grown long hair (a MAJOR turn-off for me) and was sporting a Grizzly Adams style beard, then I would probably have given pause and consideration as to whether I wanted to actually maintain a play relationship. But the subtle changes didn't impede his attractiveness to me at all.

Were the changes to this guy's appearance VERY substantial, or would any change(s) that included any of your wife's turn-offs been cause for her to end the play relationship?

Like I said, just curious.


With all that said, my turn-offs are:

1. Disrespectful or lecherous behavior, including a total disregard for his partner if he has one.
2. Long hair or comb-overs (I am so with ya, Cat!)
3. Flabby, sloppy overweight
4. Short men (shorter than 5'10")
5. Small penis (less than 6")
6. Body odor (of course)
7. Excessive body hair and general lack of hygiene
8. Bad teeth
9. Over 10 years older than I am
10. Excessive tattoos and/or piercings (i.e., more than two or three tasteful tattoos and no penis, anal, scrotum, lip, eyebrow or nose piercings.)
11. MAN PANTIES ...
12. No one with a heavy accent or the complete inability to speak English.
13. Philanderers
14. Excessive use of alcohol or drugs

I guess I might be particularly picky, but I figure many of those on my list kind of are universal among many women and should go without saying. Others are simply my personal preference.

[JustAskJulie]

Ya know, I can't say that I have any flat out turn-offs. There are things that in general are turn-offs but when presented on the right person it's like they are non-factors.

That said there are plenty of reasons that someone would simply be a no-go for me, but it pretty much comes on a case by case basis - if I'm not into it/them it's not going to happen.

Even body odor can be cured with a bath, provided they are typically a clean person and not just someone with overly bad hygiene - in which case I'd probably never get close enough to them to let the other things compensate for their shortcoming.

[xxoticangel]

Had you guys played with this guy on many occasions previously? What I am getting at, was there some type of "established" relationship? Some sort of relationship even resembling friendship or was this guy simply a "single guy toy"?

The three of us have played twice before. The first time was spring 2004 and again in August. Other than general emails we have no other relationship with him other than the times we have hooked up to play. I would not refer to him as a "single guy toy" but we don't socialize or meet-up except to play. Due to distance (about 150 miles) we do not run in the same circles or have any opportunity to meet for a quick drink or coffee just to say "Hi". He is a nice guy and we have a lot in common but our lives are too different to develop any type of bond.

Were the changes to this guy's appearance VERY substantial, or would any change(s) that included any of your wife's turn-offs been cause for her to end the play relationship?

I consider smooth shaven with wavy hair that I could run my fingers through turning into someone that reminded me of the elf from the Rudolph animation a very substantial change. He had a funny shapped head and an evil satanic goatee....Ick. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. I can't stand facial hair or men that shave their heads. I would rather a guy look like a monk than shave his head. Its just my thing. I have on occasion overlooked facial hair but have always refused to kiss or let a guy with facial hair do oral on me. Tim McGraw looks great but I wouldn't kiss him or let him do oral either....another Yuck!!!! The only way I was able to play with him at all was because we had played before and had a great time. I was hoping that I would get into the sex and forget about what he looked like but the attraction that was so strong before just wasn't there. I like what I like and I can't play with someone I'm not attracted to no matter how much I like them as a person.

Txduo, you and I are as opposite as republicans and democrats when it comes to our taste in men. I love long hair, prefer my mate/playmate to be shorter than 5'8", a penis longer than 7" is more pain than than pleasure, tattoos and piercings (especially genital) turn me on, I think hairy chests and legs are very manly, and I think that a guy in boxer shorts/boxer briefs/briefs looks goofy...when a guy first drops is pants I would rather see him commando or wearing bikini or g-string briefs. Oh, and one day I'll write about our weekend in New Orleans with Hans and Inga. They were from Sweden.

[txduo2000]

Thanks for responding, Mrs. xxxotic. Like I said, I was just curious ... not being judgmental in the least.

Oh, and yes, we are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. But that's what makes this world such an interesting place. Everyone is different, each individual's preferences are different ... so it allows for a great deal of variety and a large pool from which to choose.

[JnCC]

I've NEVER done a comb-over, but 5 decades of "exposure" to the elements left my skull a little thin on top, so last year I went ahead and had my stylist buzz what was left. The response it got from women was both immediate and positive.

Then I had some time off in the summer, so for the first time in 25 years, I grew a goatee. (I normally wear only a mustache) Again, the response was immediate, and once again positive. It seemed to attract women who I never would have considered before.

Your friend may have changed his look in order to attract a different type of woman than he traditionally appeals to. Although he may lose a few potential playmates in the process, he'll probably pick up a few as well. If the payoff outweighs the cost (I.E., he meets a greater number, or more attractive women with his current look) he'll probably stay the way he his. If not...you'll see him smooth-faced and long-haired again soon.

"Is there anything so physically repulsive that you just can't get around it no matter how well everything else goes?"

Not too many things I can't get around...ONCE. But there are several that make it highly unlikely I'll ask for a repeat engagement;

1) Toady or slovenly women - That includes behaviors as well as appearance. I've been completely skank-free for over a year now.

2) Humongous, hairy muffs - They make me feel like I'm kissing Gene Shalit on the lips. Everybody needs fiber in their diet, but I'll get mine in my breakfast cereal, thanks.

3) Bad breath/body odor - Sometimes it's not a lack of soap, it's metabolism. Doesn't matter...our basic body chemistry has to be compatible.

4) Ugly feet - Don't know why...just don't like 'em. All her toes ought to look like they belong on the same person, and point in the same direction...preferably the same one she goes when she walks.

5) 'Rhoids - 'Cause they're ugly...and under certain circumstances, distracting as well.

Almost everything else is negotiable. Age, weight, race, even "kink" to some extent. Almost every woman has some feature or combination of features that are outstanding...you just have to find them.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by JnCC

...5) 'Rhoids - 'Cause they're ugly...and under certain circumstances, distracting as well...

LMAO ...How do you know THEY'D be there the next time...

Male D

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by JnCC

...Almost every woman has some feature or combination of features that are outstanding...you just have to find them.

Of course, you have to find a woman with the patience to let you find them...

Male D