a nickle 3some beats a paradigm
Posted 01-19-2008 at 11:36 AM by socolais
I've been thinking about my own malcontent about typical SLS profiles coupled with the general consensus expressed here on the board in narrative form. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I think profiles in general are a poor "hookup tool". It provides an incomplete representation of a person or couple. Based on the contents of the profile, we tend to filter out some folks that we might not in a simple face to face meeting and we find attraction to other folks that we tend to reject through subsequent discovery.
No single system can be perfect because people and indirect communication are not perfect and that's ok as long as we understand the systemic limitations. So the REAL question becomes - is there a better way?
For ourselves, we've found a solution we feel is acceptable. We meet folks at house parties. We feel our approach trumps profile browsing and we acknowledge its biases and limitations.
I believe the way a person thinks is a more significant facet of their sexiness than their general appearance. I'm attracted to several members of this board based on their communication skills and their creative thinking. Those two qualities don't show through very well in a conventional profile but are (at least in my professional opinion) strongly correlated to a fun time in the sack and fun to be with in general.
I think swingersboard has a strong potential for connecting like minds for a fun physical time. The functionality enhancements Julie adds to this board continuously makes it a better tool for that purpose. And as the population grows, it can only get better.....
No single system can be perfect because people and indirect communication are not perfect and that's ok as long as we understand the systemic limitations. So the REAL question becomes - is there a better way?
For ourselves, we've found a solution we feel is acceptable. We meet folks at house parties. We feel our approach trumps profile browsing and we acknowledge its biases and limitations.
I believe the way a person thinks is a more significant facet of their sexiness than their general appearance. I'm attracted to several members of this board based on their communication skills and their creative thinking. Those two qualities don't show through very well in a conventional profile but are (at least in my professional opinion) strongly correlated to a fun time in the sack and fun to be with in general.
I think swingersboard has a strong potential for connecting like minds for a fun physical time. The functionality enhancements Julie adds to this board continuously makes it a better tool for that purpose. And as the population grows, it can only get better.....
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Comments
 |  We are much the same way. We prefer to meet others at clubs, socials, M&Gs, etc and use SLS as a way to keep in contact with them later. We aren't great at online communication / follow-up though. And the people we've met that we've enjoyed spending time with the most are the people from this site... who unfortunately all live too damn far away. |
Posted 01-19-2008 at 01:02 PM by JustAskJulie  |
| |  Sites such as SLS are tools, and only tools. With any tool your end result depends on your ability to use it. I like to use the sites and the clubs together. We have met one fantastic couple locally that way. With anything, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. And one of the reasons that there are so many ways to meet people is because one way is not right for all. |
| Posted 01-19-2008 at 02:38 PM by ncmd_couple |
| |  great thoughts, and how true. we have been through the site use, as our beginning way to start meeting others in the lifestyle. well ill take that back, first exposure back before Internet were magazines.then changed from what we thought would never happen(going to clubs and gatherings) then something changed dramatically. we found that out of our being naive, we just took it that everyone in the lifestyle was honest and trusting.true,but we know that for a successful meeting its allot easier at a club or meet and greets like you say.we have been on a personal battle with being able to deal with letting our guard down. so moving on in life, we do go to one group gathering for (couples with bi females only) that are put together about every 6-8 weeks or so with about 20 members in the group.somehow they found us i guess,from a few members we had met previously, at meet and greets and clubs while we were chasing the wind as swingers.we were invited from the owners and yea,it was tough at that time finding trust in people,we take steps forward.. we visit one club mainly.its a comfort level for us(the owner is an ex police officer)now days it just seems that with limited time out.we have one couple that are close playmates. one single male playmate, a military doctor with limited time as well now. who understands how we feel,our situation.a very supportive friend through our tough times.we don't get a chance to cross paths often now with the war. and a single bi female friend of Mrs.funs(well, my friend also but they are really close friends) SOCOLIAS, for us we agree with your thoughts, but we are just.....sorry, its so hard to express my thoughts and feelings sometimes... its frustrating  ...... ok, its like you say about swingers board members. there are people here that through sharing our thoughts, ideas and feelings here, it does give a certain connection with some of the regular members here.with our doubts about people in the lifestyle being not who they present themselves to be, like what you might find on an sls profile. going to our first swingers board meet up was in some ways a need to see if others there were in fact, what they come across as in their posts.what we found out.. they were , everyone. what we got... a feeling of trust, a comfort as well in what we believe exists in the lifestyle.everyone being sooo sexy, just happend to be a big bonus |
| Posted 01-20-2008 at 01:57 PM by fun4Ds |
| |  Alas, sites such as swingersboard will clue you in to others who really are "like-minded"; however, those couples are inevitably thousands of miles away. And while I agree that face to face is the best way to meet people, I'd personally have difficulty being limited to house party meetings. There are sooooo many couples who avoid those, either because they're new or they simply prefer a more intimate environment. But perhaps what you're looking for is the seasoned, open, wilder peeps We should all do what works for us |
| Posted 04-13-2008 at 03:56 PM by lustylearning |
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