Interesting situation with Newbies
Posted 07-29-2008 at 06:35 PM by JustAskJulie
So this past weekend we hosted a group dinner out with what ended up being 5 couples. One of the couples as it turned out was brand new (never been to anything before). They were young (our ages) and attractive. We were definately attractive but also very hesitant and after finding out that this was this first foray to even meet people not expecting anything from them. Mainly we were just trying to show them a good time and give them a good impression of swingers as a whole. So we did dinner and then we headed to a local bar that a lot of local swingers hang out and to hang out and dance. There were 4 couples that went with us to the bar initially and it wasn't long before newbie couple let us know that they were interested in us and one other couple but since they were new they didn't really know the protocal, etc and wondered about just getting a room and having a sixsome. On one hand I was all for it and I told Pet what was going on and we discussed it. Because of their newby status neither of us had really expected or been looking for anything and I think more than anything he was just totally thrown by their forwardness... add to that that we weren't really interested in the third couple (and no one seemed interested in the 4th couple). As it ended up, we opted out. It wasn't due to lack of attraction, but more just not feeling it that particular night in general. Then to make things that much more confusing the 5th couple that had been at dinner (a couple we are friends with, have played with and would again) showed up at the bar later, making us feel like we had to split our attention.
I'm not really sure how things got left overall with the newbie couple. We did our best to let them know we were definately interested in seeing them again and getting to know them better one on one. Of course, they have kids and rarely get out so we don't know when that opportunity will come around. I have a feeling that they took it as a rebuff or lack of interest and that was so not the case.
I'm not really sure how things got left overall with the newbie couple. We did our best to let them know we were definately interested in seeing them again and getting to know them better one on one. Of course, they have kids and rarely get out so we don't know when that opportunity will come around. I have a feeling that they took it as a rebuff or lack of interest and that was so not the case.
Total Comments 4
Comments
 |  Are you thinking about dropping them a message letting them know of your interest? I would think since they are new, they would probably appreciate it, and would find it encouraging. Especially since you verbally let them know you were interested, the follow up message might ensure they find a babysitter very soon.  |
Posted 07-29-2008 at 09:18 PM by two4youinswva  |
| |  We already did that the day after meeting them. Their reply was not quite as receptive as I would have hoped though so I fear that they may have still taken the way we left things at the bar as a lack of interest. We've run into this before, where signals got crossed or miscommunication in person led things going nowhere. Sometimes it's like if you don't take the opportunity WHEN it presents itself it just won't present itself again. |
| Posted 07-30-2008 at 11:06 AM by JustAskJulie |
| |  I had a similar situation at a recent house party. I keep second-guessing myself - did I do the right thing? There's something to be said for "striking while the iron is hot" while patience is also a virtue. I'm finding comfort in the thought that I took the opportunity to be confident we can communicate well together before we hop in bed and just hope for a really good time. Now I know when the next opportunity for playtime arrises, I'll be confident everyone can have a fun time. I wouldn't know what to think about a total newbie couple that suggested a sixsome as their first experience. I would need plenty of communication with them to understand their expectations. I sure wouldn't want to be the 4th couple in that story. |
| Posted 07-30-2008 at 02:16 PM by socolais |
| | re: SocalaisThat was where we were kinda having issues as well. Considering their status we definately weren't expecting them to want to play that night, let alone to initiate a 6some. On one hand we would have enjoyed playing with them, on the other hand I keep thinking "what if something went wrong". I just wouldn't want to be associated with that. On the upside it seems they are more confident in what they want, based on the changes to their SLS profile since that night. They've gone from seeking same room sex and possible oral exchange to seeking full swap. I don't know what if anything happened after we left the bar but evidently the night was a good start for them. |
| Posted 07-30-2008 at 06:03 PM by JustAskJulie |
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