Plans
Posted 09-26-2008 at 09:34 PM by gatorvol64
In the past, I've always been a planner. Couldn't be without my watch and my day planner (later my PDA).
Then both my boys, a nephew and one of their friends were in a serious wreck. One that we've been told it was a miracle they survived. I saw the accident scene...it's true. Three of them eventually walked out of both hospitals that night with basically minor injuries. One did not. He very nearly died. He's had two back surgeries by a fabulous doctor and now walks around and lives a normal life.
All of this is what mostly can be attributed to the change in my behavior. A change that basically affected all aspects of my life. From how I plan to our decision to try swinging for the first time. I stopped planning and decided to live a little more. I drastically cut out the planning and organizing.
Now, I've come to realize that was too much. I should have just reduced it. I don't like feeling out of control in most situations. I've felt my life in general has been that way to a certain extent since the accident. I've shared with the rest of the quad that I need to plan and schedule some. It will help me be a happier person and, therefore, better to live with. I have no desire to be as structured as I once was. I need somewhere in between. It would help me tremendously to know that I'll see Tech on a pre-planned day, that Gator and Kitten make sure they plan the same and that all four of us will be together at another set time. I'm not ruling out spontaneity at all. But knowing that we'll be spending time together on such and such day, instead of a vague plan of something in the future, will make the time apart easier. I can tell myself I only have to wait 3 days, for example, instead of just knowing it will happen one day.
I have to thank rpu3 for reminding me of this in one of her posts. How the other 3 react to all this is still up in the air. I'm getting to try. Gator may balk most of all. Just because he's seen the other extreme and knows neither he or I want that for us again. It will take me a while to figure it all out. Its been so long since I lived a structured life that I may have difficulty getting back into it.
Then both my boys, a nephew and one of their friends were in a serious wreck. One that we've been told it was a miracle they survived. I saw the accident scene...it's true. Three of them eventually walked out of both hospitals that night with basically minor injuries. One did not. He very nearly died. He's had two back surgeries by a fabulous doctor and now walks around and lives a normal life.
All of this is what mostly can be attributed to the change in my behavior. A change that basically affected all aspects of my life. From how I plan to our decision to try swinging for the first time. I stopped planning and decided to live a little more. I drastically cut out the planning and organizing.
Now, I've come to realize that was too much. I should have just reduced it. I don't like feeling out of control in most situations. I've felt my life in general has been that way to a certain extent since the accident. I've shared with the rest of the quad that I need to plan and schedule some. It will help me be a happier person and, therefore, better to live with. I have no desire to be as structured as I once was. I need somewhere in between. It would help me tremendously to know that I'll see Tech on a pre-planned day, that Gator and Kitten make sure they plan the same and that all four of us will be together at another set time. I'm not ruling out spontaneity at all. But knowing that we'll be spending time together on such and such day, instead of a vague plan of something in the future, will make the time apart easier. I can tell myself I only have to wait 3 days, for example, instead of just knowing it will happen one day.
I have to thank rpu3 for reminding me of this in one of her posts. How the other 3 react to all this is still up in the air. I'm getting to try. Gator may balk most of all. Just because he's seen the other extreme and knows neither he or I want that for us again. It will take me a while to figure it all out. Its been so long since I lived a structured life that I may have difficulty getting back into it.
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Comments
 |  It's funny. I recognise your thoughts. I'm also struggling with the concept of balancing serendipity and measurable structure. I'm such a planner my backup plans have their own backup plans. There are times I can embrace spontaneity and abort or adjust my plans as necessary. Sometimes, "chance" trumps my plans with something better and other times I'll yield to the needs of others. There's a comfort in knowing what comes next and disruptions take me out of my comfort zone. Somewhere in there lies a peaceful balance and somebody keeps moving my cheese... |
Posted 09-27-2008 at 02:23 PM by socolais  |
| |  Its the balance. Finding the balance is sooo hard. |
| Posted 09-29-2008 at 10:16 PM by gatorvol64 |
| |  Funny I read this today, because right now I feel kind of in limbo with my FWB. Vacation with spouse, FWB and vanilla friends is over, and there's a "maybe" plan still 2 months out. The fact that it's two months out, and just a "hopefully things will work out" and not even a little one night event planned or suggested in the meantime, is making me pretty negative or like there's no control at the moment with said FWB. I hate it because I am one of those over-control freaks. I did give up the PDA, though, but spontaneity and having to wait are not my strong suits. Thanks for the thanks - it is far easier for some of us when there's a plan to look forward to. Glad you have a plan to help yourself out! |
| Posted 10-05-2008 at 05:33 PM by rpu3 |
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Recent Blog Entries by gatorvol64
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