A Situation That Can't be Changed
The situation that is unchangable at this point is the fact that we don't live together. I know that wouldn't solve all our problems and, in fact, will bring some different ones instead to begin with. What mostly makes living in different households a problem is that these two households are 2 hours apart.
Don't get me wrong. I do know that it is worse in some long distance poly relationships. I have to admire them for trying to have a relationship with someone 5-9 hours away. Off topic for a random thought here...would that make it easier? Not knowing that it is possible to get to your loved one and back to work the next morning? The fact that I know we can get in the car at 5:00 and drive a couple of hours, spend a little time with them and drive back that night or more likely the next morning is always there at the back of my mind. That it isn't always something we can actually do is the reality of the situation. Gator works shift work while the other three of us work 8 to 5 jobs. This makes it a bit more difficult to all get together at once.
Tech and Gator had some strong words the other day. Not normal. They've talked on the phone since and things are fine but it has been an upset to all four of us. Just an upset. Enough to want to be there to comfort each other or something. Face to face tells you so much more about how someone is handling something. And frankly, if not most importantly, I for one need some hugs. Particualrly since the words were regarding me. But I think we all could use some time together. A fact we have all commented on at one time or another is, when we all four get together we make each other feel better about almost anything. Gator actually likes it that Tech can make me smile when he can't. Like times Gator and I have had a disagreement or when things in our immediate family happen that we worry about. And definitely when our families don't seem to want to accept Tech and Gator in our lives. Not even as the friends we introduce them as. What? I guess as careful as we try to be something must still show that makes them suspicious. They help us with that.
So, I've written a bunch of words that probably doesn't make sense because I need a hug. But just writing them help.
Vol
Don't get me wrong. I do know that it is worse in some long distance poly relationships. I have to admire them for trying to have a relationship with someone 5-9 hours away. Off topic for a random thought here...would that make it easier? Not knowing that it is possible to get to your loved one and back to work the next morning? The fact that I know we can get in the car at 5:00 and drive a couple of hours, spend a little time with them and drive back that night or more likely the next morning is always there at the back of my mind. That it isn't always something we can actually do is the reality of the situation. Gator works shift work while the other three of us work 8 to 5 jobs. This makes it a bit more difficult to all get together at once.
Tech and Gator had some strong words the other day. Not normal. They've talked on the phone since and things are fine but it has been an upset to all four of us. Just an upset. Enough to want to be there to comfort each other or something. Face to face tells you so much more about how someone is handling something. And frankly, if not most importantly, I for one need some hugs. Particualrly since the words were regarding me. But I think we all could use some time together. A fact we have all commented on at one time or another is, when we all four get together we make each other feel better about almost anything. Gator actually likes it that Tech can make me smile when he can't. Like times Gator and I have had a disagreement or when things in our immediate family happen that we worry about. And definitely when our families don't seem to want to accept Tech and Gator in our lives. Not even as the friends we introduce them as. What? I guess as careful as we try to be something must still show that makes them suspicious. They help us with that.
So, I've written a bunch of words that probably doesn't make sense because I need a hug. But just writing them help.
Vol
Total Comments 5
Comments
 |  Virtual hugs... probably not much of a help especially since it's not from the ones you love, but you have my attention through your words. Hope writing it out helped. |
Posted 04-14-2008 at 09:56 PM by rpu3  |
| |  Wow, I'm sorry! While swinging works for us, I don't think either of us would be happy in a poly-romance. But I applaud you for doing it! This must be very hard for you, and by not being in that sort of lifestyle, there is no advice for me to give... other than, "things will always work out for the better-- one way or another". I just hope everything works out to the way you want. |
| Posted 04-15-2008 at 11:43 AM by jnbsmokin |
| |  <HUG> I do feel where you are coming from. Pet and I were there not too long ago. The distance SUCKS! And it is that much worse when there is a misunderstanding because it's so much harder to communicate over the phone or to feel really connected like you've resolved anything. There were times where we did jump in the car and meet halfway on the spur of the moment just because we NEEDED to see each other, even just for an hour, just to be near each other. I know it was different for us because we did know from the beginning that one of us would be moving at some point, just a matter of time. It's harder when you are dealing with whole households instead of just two people. |
| Posted 04-15-2008 at 11:52 AM by JustAskJulie |
| |  Hugs, hugs and more hugs. I feel your pain. Ted and I are living apart (10 hours) now with him traveling home every other weekend. Even though we've done this most of our married lives, it never gets any easier and this time around seems harder than ever (no small kids at home). Having disagreements or tiffs as I like to call them  is especially hard. You don't want to waste your time arguing on the phone or when you are together as the time is so precious yet, you know things need to be said and settled. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, being an old pro at separation I should have but, I don't. Just stock up on the hugs when you have the chance. T. |
Posted 04-15-2008 at 07:18 PM by TNT  |
| |  Thank you all so much. Just by your comments and your situations I can tell that you do understand how it is. That helps too. And virtual hugs are nice. I plan on stocking up just as soon as I can on the real ones. |
| Posted 04-15-2008 at 07:58 PM by gatorvol64 |
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