I realize this is swinging and when it comes right down to it, it's about sex. And I love sex! Sex loves me. I like thinking about it and talking about it.

But not constantly.

This morning I got online when I got to my office, and saw that I'd left the yahoo on overnight and had a bunch of messages. I decided to go ahead and respond. I told everyone I was just chatting while I warmed up to the idea of work. Just saying friendly hellos!

This worked with some, and we had friendly and somewhat flirty chat. very enjoyable!

but i had two chatters ask me about what i was wearing. well...to be honest I was wearing my tennis shoes, a pair of old baggy jeans, pretty normal underwear, and a vintage tshirt. hello...i was starting a work day? so do i lie and say "oh, something sexy" or do I just flat out say "ugly comfy work clothes"...LOL. (with one of the two conversations, they easily picked up that I wasn't in the mood and the conversation naturally and humorously moved along...the other...it was awkward.)

another person was talking lightly about fantasies, and that was cool. it was light-hearted girl-talk which was situationally appropriate. BUT a couple of the chatters wanted to start hardcore chats. it was 11am, and i was getting ready to work. and it suddenly went from "yea I'm working on such and such" to "so do you like deep penetration, would that make you cum?"

*sigh*

i'll be honest. a lot of the time when i'm online, I'm also trying to work, and i'm chatting to get to know people...not to masturbate. so if you ask me deeply sexual related questions, you're going to get back an awkward and/or terse answer. cause i'm just not in that mood right now.

i'm not horny 24/7. and for me, it usually takes a bit of in-person flirting to get me that way. (not much mind you, lol) but phone sex and chat sex? not really my cup of tea, unless i'm just desperately horny and alone. which doesn't happen often. ;)

so i come off as very awkward online. and i (perhaps unfairly) get annoyed quickly at people who try to make a simple conversation overly sexed-up, especially with no warm-up! save that for when i can reach out and touch you. ;)

i guess it's a fine line...online flirting and teasing is great. asking me to describe in detail how i want to be fucked...is going to get you a smiley face and two-word answer.

further more, since most of my attraction to people is personality based....you might be sending the wrong vibes. I enjoy people who are socially skilled, are good conversationalists, know how to flirt subtly and how to pick up on subtleties. That's sexy to me. So whether or not your conversational topics are arousing, the blunt/abrupt method of delivery is a total turn-off, and may impair your chances of getting to meet me.

so am i weird? am i being rude? should I only get online when i'm prepared to get all nasty in the chat? or is there a polite way to say "hey, i'm just in the mood for friendly chat right now, lets not get too detailed.":nono:

I'll eventually get the hang of all this....thanks for putting up with all my newbie venting!

Getting Started - pt 10 - Melting the ICE


Ok, you have your target in your sites.... And suddenly.. You revert to a 12 year old.. playing spin the bottle..

Or the mentality of GOOFY… “ Awww,shucks, Gosh !!”

No Need to FEAR… the INFO IS HERE!!

Its completely normal to be nervous, hell, you are about to engage in activity that, while erotic and fantastic, is usually right out of the fantasies or letters written to PENTHOUSE..

Being nervous, having that tension can be fun, and should be enjoyed. Lets face it the EXCITEMENT, is fun.. But not to the point of impairing you. Relax as you can.. Cause here is the key to all of this..

Its taken well over ten parts but I feel you are ready for the ultimate piece of wisdom when it comes to being a swinging couple, involved in this lifestyle.. Ready?

Its just SEX.. So long as everyone CUMS, And has a good time, its all good..

As a wise person once said, Sex is like PIZZA, even when its bad, its still pretty good..

Even our worst encounter, was still pretty good, because if the sex wasn’t that great, we still had a great time, and sometimes still laugh at what this one or that one did..

So Relax, first off, so long as everyone is there because they want to be there.. Half the battle is already won. Now, in this chapter we are going to cover going from covered to naked, and turned on, motors revving..

MELTING THE ICE

Now, lets suppose, just for the sake of argument, that, the “target package” for tonight’s mission is … Another Couple..

Yes, I keep coming back to that.. But in all honesty, it’s the basis of much of the real fun that most people have within the lifestyle.

Single Guys are great, but, in the end, it’s a MFM threesome, and regardless of how versatile the woman is, She is only one person.. At times, yes, all three are engaged, and other times, one sits on the sidelines, waiting their turn and the other two have fun.

With a Single Woman, Umm.. Unless it’s a chemically enhanced night, a FMF threesome, the guy has to perform double duty.. And lets face it, regardless of WHO he is, unless he is 17, there is still a bit of DOWNTIME, that usually involves some form of other stimuli, or Artificial male organs.

Besides, using the threesome aspect, its more of a case, where, because its usually spurred on by .. Hmm, *AHEM* unbridled passion.

Now, there are a few different ways, to kick off the festivities, and HOW things get started can be just as fun as the main event.

Some are ready to dive right in, others need to be “romanced”, Some are looking to start by allowing the women to “sexplore” each other, then the guys jump in. But some also you will come across might not be into the woman to woman play, or maybe your wife or SO isnt.. Again, go with the flow..

An easy way to break the ice, is to play a bit of Strip poker, or Strip blackjack, So maybe thats something to throw in the overnight bag, a deck of cards.... Another is to find one of a dozen “party” games available online or thru different places from adult toy emporiums to Spencer’s. If that seems a cheesy way to go, Maybe simply pairing off, and soft fondling, Depending on the position that you or they take, kissing leading to slowly undressing each others new playmate.

Some women prefer to be covered, allowing them time to slip into the bathroom and change often pays off when they return, scantily dressed.. Others will prefer the lights out completely.. It all depends on the “comfort zone”

Of all the encounters we have had over the years, we have had dozens of different ways to get the ice broken from walking into the room and literally pairing off and undressing your new friends, to the women diving into the bathroom and coming out in sexy dress, while us guys just got undressed.. We have gotten a room and waited while the Jacuzzi filled. Then all got undressed and got in, sitting close together, hands roaming under the water..

We have had a few situations where things went a bit odd.. From a couple that preferred to start with each other then jump to the new people in mid stream. They put on porn, and then once things got moving, switched off. Another was to having the woman from the other couple lay on the bed, face down, as everyone massaged and rubbed, then we split away into pairs.. We have gone out for a evening and ended up back in a the room having a night cap then everyone just went into the bedroom got undressed and got in the bed..

How you do it, so long as you are comfortable, doesn’t matter. Having an idea and spelling out the ground rules before things get started is usually best.

Melting the ICE, Breaking the ICE.. Getting things moving.. Requires two key elements.. Pushing the nerves aside and going for it.

Take the ideas, use ‘em, or, don’t, come up with your own..

How its done, it doesn’t matter, so long as the ICE melts.

Now, from this point we are going into the advanced territory..

Heading to your first club
Heading to your first House Party
And maybe moving from foursomes to MORESOMES

I've never really been the kind of gal to go on dates. I meet guys at parties, at work, at school...and over a long period of being friends...then being friends who kiss...then being friends who spend the night...suddenly we just wake up one day and decide we're "together."

In college I had a couple of "dates" that were very awkward, boring, long, offensive...etc. And just decided it wasn't my thing.

For this whole experiment to work though...I couldn't avoid the first dates. Yes yes, I could meet people at parties & meet-n-greets, but I'd rather walk into those already knowing a person or two...so there had to be at least a few dates at the beginning to get started.

Soooo....I had my second "first date" last night, and it was great! I'm learning a lot about myself. For instance...I'm much more confident and relaxed than I thought I was. I don't get nervous, I don't freak out, I don't get the butterfly thing (I keep waiting, it hasn't happened at all...not even on the first 'play' date).

Back in high school and the first two years of college, I was an introvert...painfully shy and DEATHLY afraid of people. It wasn't really who I was, but it took a year of antidepressants and many years of trial & error to figure that out. Now that I'm "me"...I am so extroverted that it boggles my mind. If you had told the me of college that I would grow up, move alone to california, and eventually meet people on the internet for the purpose of having sex...sometimes group sex...i would have fainted. LOL. But then tell me that I would do it without hesitation, nerves, or second thoughts...I'd have laughed and realized you were from an alternate dimension.

This is fun. I like meeting the me of the alternate dimension.

Anyway, back to topic....I enjoy dating now! I really have had a lot of fun just meeting different random people and spending an evening chatting and finding our common ground! It's great that there is this secret sexy naughty undertone to the purpose of the conversation, but I think I'd love it even if there wasn't.

I've got a lot of "first dates" set up, and I'm seriously looking forward to all of them. The people are so diverse and interesting. And the more we talk about who we are as people, the more I discover about myself. And the more I fall in love with life! I love people! I love them! :lol:

Tech's only sister had a baby today. Due to medical problems, it will likely be the only one she has. A first experience for him being there since his children are all step children.

The thing that totally sucks about this is no one got to go with him. Long story about work and misunderstanding the doctor on when she was being induced. I'm now anxiously awaiting pictures to arrive via the technology I love.

He was afraid to hold mine and Gator's second grandchild when he was first born. But, he has been rocking his niece to sleep according to the baby's mother! Now, I'm so bummed the three of us missed that. Actually, Kitten and I are a bit more than bummed about it. Especially her.

I talked to Tech's sister tonight and she and baby are doing well. I just had to share.

Vol

Getting Started pt 9c - the first meeting, Another Woman

Ahh Yes, the Unicorns..

Those of us with experience in the lifestyle refer to single women within the lifestyle as just that Unicorns, often talked about, but seldom seen

This will be possibly the shortest entry in the series for one reason, After 13 years of being involved in the lifestyle, we have YET to find one.

So, given the fact that, I can not speak from experience, the best course of action I can give in this instance is to tell you what we would do.

If as with the previous circumstances we were to actually find a single woman, and talk online, build a level of trust and online friendship, we would offer our phone number and ask her to call. This, again is for her trust, as it offers a small level of anonymity, She can block her number form the caller ID with a *67, and call. Which we would offer with the phone number.

If the call went great and things progressed we would offer a evening out, of dinner, and whatever she wanted to do after, and as a point of etiquette, on us.

Because we have experience, it would depend on her experience to determine what happens, and how quickly or slowly, things progress from the dinner stand point.

In getting ready for the evening out, we would over course do exactly as we have counseled in previous parts.. Be prepared for anything expect nothing To that end, we would prepare as if Oh yes, its naked time at some point. She would be smooth ad fresh down there, as would I. We would dress like headed out for a great evening, casual, but, not sloppy.

Our overnight bag would be packed and ready just in case. In it we would have:

Tooth paste
Tooth brushes
Some shampoo
Body Wash or soap
Deodorant
Cologne
Perfume
Condoms
Lubricant
Some fun toys - Vibe maybe a dildo, or strap on..

And at least one or two bottles of douche - Just as a precaution. Other items, a few plastic cups if a drink or two might be needed before the festivities begin.. In our case usually a bottle of Bacardi, but as I would have asked during conversations leading up to tonight, whatever our new friend likes to drink.

Sometimes its an idea to bring a small radio or CD player.. Other items to put in the bag, if you are really planning some candles, tealights and holders.. Helps to set a mood..

Beyond that, having things in place so that IF things work out, a neutral place, comfort zone for both parties, reserved. A Sitter to watch any kiddies (even though ours are almost beyond sitter ages) Cell phone charged and ready to go.

From that point, all things would follow the same path as the one for meeting a couple. Basically a bit of flirting, seeing how the personalities mesh, and if there is a comfortable feeling between the three of us. If you have a definitive idea that regardless of if it works out or not, that you are going to be spending the evening in the Hotel room, It might be an idea to go ahead and get the room key, drop you things there, and again, if you are planning in either case, put your candles out ( DON”T LIGHT THEM!! ) set your cd player/radio up.. Hell, if it has a hot tub Jacuzzi, fill it.. Hot water only, and allow it to cool over your dinner, by the time you get back topping it off to bring it back to temp is easy.

Then close up the room, and head off to your meet. Have a great dinner and see how it goes. Drop the info at some point that you and your SO were planning on the night out anyway. Take the play pressure off her.. If she is ready great.. If not, it can wait.

At some point as Dinner finishes, and the check is being taken care of, I would ask simply where everyone wants to go from there. Posing the question to both ladies.

How and where things go from that point, is all up to them, because as I detailed before..

Guys are usually ready to go, BEFORE dinner.. If all agree, we head somewhere private, great.. If not, that’s fine too, building friendship and trust is doubly important in this circumstance.

Besides, if you are following the Motto, you weren’t planning on anything except between you and your SO, anyway, RIGHT?

Now, lets suppose, She and your wife agree, that heading somewhere to get less dressed is a great idea.. We head off, for an evening in a private place. We get the room we already had reserved, and then comes the awkward time..

The point in time that happens between entering the room, and everyone naked. In this instance, its not up to you, or your SO.. Its up to your guest.. If she is really ready, then this really won’t be an issue. Get a few drinks poured, find a music station or something like it on whatever is in the room.. And see what develops.

Now, in the next chapter, we will discuss a very important topic, suppose everything is set, all systems go, you get to the room .. And everyone FREEZES UP..

That’s why the next topic is called MELTING the ICE

Now then, the bags packed, she is dressed to kill and you are ready to go, the just in case reservations have been made.. Anything else you need to deal with to go away for the evening has been taken care of, such as a sitter scheduled, days ahead.

You head out the door, and the nerves have grown the butterflies into flying saucers. It might be a good idea to both get on the same page as to what happens If.. If things are ready to go to the next level, or If they aren’t. Make it clear that both of you have a go, no go ruling.. Talk between yourselves, and re enforce the feeling you have for each other, and remember, this is supposed to be fun.

A few days ago, a member of the forum contacted me with the question, his wife was interested in getting started, but was having a time with separating love from sex. And at the time the wet-wear went offline and I didn’t have a decent answer for him.. Well, how is this..

A couple can go out for a evening, and dancing, and either partner can if the other isn’t the jealous type, enjoy dancing with another partner, even slow dancing.. Its just dancing its not like they love the other person but are enjoying the activity..

In the lifestyle we enjoy having sex, for sex sake, some refer to it as sport fucking.. Just like playing a pick up game of ball, or getting friends together to play touch football, pool, or even cards.. it’s a form of having fun..

So, RELAX.. What’s the worst things that happens? The guy lied and is older than dirt.. Or the picture was taken BEFORE he put on 130 lbs.. What happens if you meet and he isn’t who he said he is.. The same as if you met a couple and they weren’t..

If there is no connection if there is no chemistry.. Two choices sit and talk and see how things do actually go.. He might be the greatest guy, just not your or your wife’s idea of perfection.

It happens, and believe it or not, we met a “troll” or two.. And once you got past the BS factors, one actually turn into a great guy, and more importantly.. One hell of a evening..

The other choice is to cut your losses early, explain simply that its not going to work out like you and he had hoped, and go somewhere else for a night out for you both..

You are already packed, have a reservation, go to dinner, back to the hotel, and spend the evening, pleasuring each other, and hell, talk about what the next guy might bring to the table.

Ok, lets suppose on the other hand that, you meet, and instead of Rumplestilskin, he is a great guy. Things go great and its like talking to an old friend. There comes and awkward point where someone needs to ask the question..

Do we wanna go somewhere more private? Ideally, its your female half of the team that speaks up, but chances are the nerves are running too high for that..

Now then lets assume that She is ready to go, You are ready to go, and He is all for it..( of course he is, He is gonna get laid) You make it clear to him to follow but wait, in the parking lot while you get the room keys.

Once you have them, and get into the room.. Now is the last time before things get kicked into high gear to discuss anything, of a intimate or sexual nature before things get started.

How things get started is up to her.. Maybe both of you guys, begin to undress her.. Maybe you sit with her in between you both, and flip on a PPV adult channel. Maybe you all get undressed and just get right to it..

Its all up to her.. How long things last is also a key.. I mean we all have the fantasy about getting naked and getting things going, fucking and sucking all night long.. But lets face it, even under ideal conditions, with 5 bottles of lube, she is still going to get sore. When she says, that’s it.. Sorry folks that’s it.. We went one night, from 8pm, til 4am, one night, but not in a frantic fashion, rather, it was erotic, slow, and FANTASIC.. The room had double beds, us on one him on the other as things slowed.. And she went from one bed to the other, from 1145 to 230.. And then we ended the night like we started, all of us, in one bed..

The last thing is, a point of etiquette, Hopefully YOU ALL had a great time. If he leaves, its acceptable to hear from him the next day, and hopefully not longer than 3 days later..

If you all really had a great time, its also fine for you to get in touch with him and say so as well.

Now, I want to clear up one thing. Starting out with a MFM threesome is a great way to start if the nerves are high, or it’s a fantasy for her , or for you both.. BUT, as you gain more experience, you will probably come around to the frame of mind that, while 3somes are fun, 4somes are even better.

Ok, if you are reading this, then you are already ahead, so the next part/chapter, MELTING the ICE, might prove useful for future pursuits..

Getting Started pt 9b - the first meeting, Another Man

Ok, lets suppose you have decided to try something a bit different.. Definitely EASIER.

Lets suppose, you have decided to satisfy her fantasy, of adding another guy, to your bedroom fun.

After pouring thru the thousands of single man profiles, getting dozens of emails from all sorts of individuals, you settle on one. You talked via IM and he seems like a great choice, spoke on the phone and again, seems like he is just right. After a few hours of serious conversation, you feel confident that he is the mystery man in her fantasy, or at least for right now..

A date is set, and after much nervous preparation, out the door you go, Right?
So you’ve covered that, all systems are go.. Right..?

As we said in the last part, HANG ON THERE..

Because of the situation, and because its just one additional “player” its easier in many ways, than it is with meeting a couple. The whole evening in our experience basically boiled down to if things went well during the “vanilla time”, playtime is usually almost assured to follow.

Stop, back up.. Because you are including a new guy in your bedroom fun, and lets be honest while you can build enough trust to go ahead in a short time, its probably a good idea to go to neutral ground to play.. Make it clear to him that IF things fall into place and you decide to play, HE is expected to split the cost of a hotel room somewhere.

Why do I make this point, Suppose the guy is great when you are both there, and things go great.. He wants a repeat a day or two later, do you really want leisure suit Larry showing up on your doorstep with a six pack and a box of condoms.. Esp. when only one of you is at home.. Let him build that trust, if a repeat is in the cards.. Maybe two or three repeats down the road.

Now then, because of the play your are about to go after, it really is essential that, you both have an idea of what sorts of fun, you are going to enjoy. A set of guidelines and boundaries need to be in place. She is going to have two men to play with, four hands, two tongues, and two turgid members, all seeking entrance to her gates of heaven…

Ok, that’s the sweet way of saying she has two men wanting to send the evening, putting their cocks in her mouth, pussy, and if she hasn’t said, her ass.. We have all seen the porn movies where the woman goes thru all the combinations and cums and cums and cums, right?

Well what most people do not realize the women in those movies are near world class ATHLETES, between the flexibility, and the Stamina that they exhibit in each movie, they really DO deserve applause. And PLEASE make no mistake about it, a woman CAN get seriously hurt, if this is goes wrong, or more importantly, if its done with out the proper preparations.

Simple guidelines that MUST cover, the use of condoms, what can go where, where the cum can go.. And a general what’s in and what’s out. Since you are chasing this fantasy, it’s a good idea to know if she has any designs on trying a DP, or Double Penetration.. This can mean something simple like one guy in her mouth while the other is in her pussy, or more involved like one in her pussy and one in her ass at the same time. Or even more complex, both guys in her pussy at the same time.

Another thing to consider guys is, lets face it, there might be some incidental contact between you guys.. Especially when going for such advanced positions. Be prepared for it, or it will ruin your evening. The other things is, the green eyed monster. Its completely normal for you to feel these feelings, its also completely normal to be waiting to be tagged in.. it happens from time to time.

But as I said guidelines help a great deal. Discussing in advance what she wants to do, what she MIGHT do, and what is an absolute NO FUCKING WAY, needs to be taken care of.

Because as I said, most of the time, if the guy turns out to be fairly decent, and isn’t an asshole, playtime usually follows that evening as some point its necessary to be prepared, just like the ole boy scout motto. Preparations begin at home, after her shower, make sure the hair down there is at least trimmed, if she shaves, make sure its nice and smooth. Just like any time she wants to spend a evening of great sex with you, she might want to make sure she is clean inside as well as outside.. Two minutes and a bottle of douche.. And she’s clean all under.. Ready to be played with like a bright shiny new toy.

A bit of lingerie goes a long way to helping inspire the guys as well as giving a bit of a boost to her confidence because they aren’t just seeing walk out of the bathroom naked. Almost any woman at these times will feel a wide range of emotions, and the last thing you want is a bout with self confidence. Its her choice, of course, but more over if she is planning on wearing something naughty, sexy, or barely there, now might be the time to put it on.

While she’s preparing, get your overnight bag ready, . stock it with at least the following items:


Tooth paste
Tooth brushes
Some shampoo
Body Wash or soap
Deodorant
Cologne
Perfume
Condoms
Lubricant

And at least one or two bottles of douche - Just as a precaution, maybe before, and definitely after.

Other items to consider at a few plastic cups if a drink or two might be needed before the festivities begin..

CONT

So you meet these people, and things go fairly well.. They are as personable in person as they were during the other conversations online and on the phone.

Guys, you need to be paying attention to your wife/girlfriend.. Is she talking, or quiet.. Remember she is still just as nervous as you are.. Keep the conversation going, and make sure to involve her. Do Not allow her to retreat into a shell..

Girls, here is a different key to watch for, Is your Guy, acting like an idiot.. Being loud? Verging on obnoxious? Reign him in.. and bring him back down to earth. Little boys tend to get over excited when in new territory, same thing applies here regardless of is age..

But lets suppose, everything goes great.. They are Brad and Angelina from the first moment. You are comfortable, and they are too. You make small talk, have a drink maybe. Flirt back and forth. And things are going great.. While it would be great if someone were to pipe up and say, "we think you are sexy, lets go" …

More often than not.. Its like the elephant in the room, no one talks about it, even though they all can see it..

If its Brad and Angelina, it’s a pretty safe bet, Your Mr., is ready and raring to go.. The key is to know if all lights are green from your Mrs..

The best course of action here is to have an idea of where everyone on your team is.. But How do you know? Remember the previous examples

A recent television phenomena, has been on, Called SWINGTOWN.. Where vanilla folks find themselves in a chance moment where exploring is available and jump in..

In the show, and in dozens of stories ( erotic and otherwise), the WOMEN talk in the restroom, and then come back to let the guys know, all lights are green..

Again, have a simple way of getting your positions across, first to each other then to them.. And knowing where you all stand before the question comes up is better than being asked..

“We love you both, what do you say to going somewhere more private..”

The awkward look back and forth, the pressure that is APPLIED when of course HE says “Sure lets go.. “And then it falls on HER to say yea or nay to the rest of the evening of fun..

Ok, here is the sage advice, Remember, the Motto? Prepare for anything, expect nothing.. Guys, prepare for nothing expect anything, and KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.. And LET HER ANSWER.. Leave it all up to the one person on your team with the sense not to allow the little head lead the big one.. One fact remains a constant in this lifestyle, and You have read it already in the first parts.. The WOMEN make the rules..

Or as Gary Busey said in a 1982 movie, He didn’t understand what women’s problems were, “they have half the money and all the pussy”

If things go great and its not in the cards for the first evening, accept it, because Hey, you weren’t planning on anything tonight anyway, RIGHT? But moreover, ask if they think they would like a second “date” ? Or maybe you think the second date if all agree is time for the fun to begin?

Because you are new to all of this, plan on moving at whatever pace YOU BOTH feel is right.. And explain that to your new friends. They will understand, if they remember what its like being newbies themselves. Some folks cast caution to the wind, and jump in.. Others need to ease in feel comfortable, and build trust.

I am closing this chapter/ part at this point, because the next deals with the next hurdle we ALL face, doesn’t matter if you are NEW or have a dozen years of EXPERIENCE.. Getting naked the first time and getting the party really started.. So the next chapter is Melting the ICE

Getting started: pt 9a - The First Meet - Another Couple

Ok, we have covered all the possible things that can happen leading up to heading out the door. The date is set, the sitter is set to be at your place in plenty of time for you to leave to make your “Date”

And then as the morning turns to afternoon, the nerves kick into high gear.. By 3 o clock the butterflies are the size of Goodyear blimps..

Now, a note to my favorite readers, you lovely ladies.. Here is the tip for how to plan, both make up and wardrobe.. A little goes a long way.. Sexy, not over the top. Unless you are going for the over the top hooker look.. But I doubt it.

Continue the IDEA of sexy, when picking your clothes for the evening.. Entice, allure, and bring ‘em in.

Guys, same concept.. You are going out for a evening.. Not down to the local sports bar, or better yet, a football party.. T-shirts are NOT ACCEPTABLE

Ok, its time for me to help you deflate those blimps and get you set for your first adventure.. Like Indiana Jones heading out of his office, on an adventure, You have to get ready too..

To quote him from Raiders, just before he leaves, he says to Marcus, “You know what a careful man I am ", as he slips his revolver into his carpet bag..

Well like Indy, packing for a night out has to be taken care of, before you head out the door.. And lets cover one other honest point..

Regardless of the circumstances, we all head out the door with the idea for the most part that “ We aren’t playing on the first date” Or, “We aren’t playing until we get to know them”

But like any other situation, just when you think you have all the answers some one changes the questions..

Our personal motto when heading out the door, Plan for anything expect nothing.. We take the overnight bag just in case.. I suggest you put together one, just for the sake of being prepared..

Now what you put in, depends on your comfort levels, and personal tastes.. A basic idea.. Travel size or regular size toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, cologne ( his and hers), a spare razor ( for the touch ups, his and hers) condoms, lubricant, and again depending on your personal tastes, maybe a bit of lingerie.. Ours has a few of her favorite sexy things, toys and the like, .. And we include a deck of cards, and a few plastic cups.. At one time it was even more extensive, with tea light candles and a few simple candle holders..

There were times we were glad we took it and others when we left it home and wished we had it..

Now I am sure some of you are thinking that’s quite a list.. But if you think one step ahead, and take what you might possibly need, then you never have to worry about being caught short. Nothing sends a night south than everyone getting keyed up and it being late no 7-11 handy to grab a pack of condoms..

Ok.. So, you have packed your travel bag, and are set to walk out the door.. Right?

Wrong, its time for one last assurance talk between you both.. This is suppose to be FUN, not traumatic.. Insecurities aside, without re assurances anyone can and will start off on the wrong foot before even heading out their own door. Give her a sensuous kiss and tell her how much she means to you, Tell him how good he looks..

In as much as you are going to meet new friends its just as important that, you both let each other know regardless of HOW the evening goes, there is still the promise of FUN, between you both..

So, The baby sitter arrives on time, and the pizza guy gets there a few minutes late, but, everything is squared away at home.. ALMOST

We know of couples that need to give themselves an out, a great reason to call off a evening, just in case you meet the folks you have talked to and they just aren’t..

Aren’t who they said they are
Aren’t folks that get your hormones flowing

Just flat out aren’t..

Again, some people have done this, that we have talked to, heard about.. They have a set time for the baby sitter to check in on them.. Say 20 minutes after the set meeting time.. As they answered the phone, they played off the catastrophe at home, and excused themselves and left.. Usually laughing across the parking lot..

I don’t suggest this.. In fact I suggest the opposite.. If someone you meet just ISN’T, say you are sorry, and that its just not going to happen, and leave it at that.

You are getting involved in a lifestyle where No means No, absolutely.. And why they may question Why, they have to accept it just as quickly as you would should it happen to you.

Cont..

yesterday was abso-bloomin-lutely awesome.

i am now officially part of the community. i have now enjoyed full swap fun. i have now officially confirmed my previous 'theory' that I would enjoy tasting the the nether regions of another girl. i have now made two wonderful new friends!

i am now exhausted! :hahaha:

really though, i'm most excited about the people! it is soooo nice to have met a couple of wonderful fun people, who i really have a great time with, and feel totally comfortable whether it's just hanging out or doing more. they were ever so kind to ignore my not-so-sexy cold.

and i think it's worth sharing my two rules for the night:

1. NO FRIED CHICKEN.
2. DO NOT TOUCH MY FOREHEAD.

(the first rule came up when deciding on dinner. i don't like fried chicken.)

(the second rule is VERY important, as I am still recovering from the month-long concussion that just recently stopped giving me migraines, and a second head-trauma that happened a couple of days ago, but is still very sore to the touch.)

i have other "first dates" lined up to meet more couples. I'm hoping they all go well. but i'm also looking forward to spending more time with these guys!

HOLA BUSCAMOS CONTACTAR con juan lupis y abe ya que mi pareja tiene una fantasia de estar con un trio aparte de nosotros doshttp://www.swingersboard.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif .

i feel like i've met all these new people...and then i'm immediately letting them down by not being available all the time! it sometimes takes me a few days to answer emails, and i'm not always at my desk when people IM me, and this weekend I need to just take a total break to get stuff done. so, i apologize. i hope no one thinks i'm just being a bitch and ignoring them!:(

this week i've been dealing with the migraine thing, so i'm just really behind on work. tonight i had a WONDERFUL massage, so i think that will help. she really worked on all the kinks in my neck. and monday, i have a fun get together scheduled that i'm hoping will turn into playtime. ...which supposedly also helps headaches! ::P:

on top of everything else, i'm trying *REALLY* hard to get back into my diet. I want to loose 5 pounds a month till february...when i have my annual vegas photography trip, cause it would totally freak out all my photo friends to see me at my college weight. (it would already freak them out to see me now...i've lost a lot since they met me.) and i bet it would be easier to flirt in vegas then anyway! all my friends are teeny tiny, so i feel like i get passed over a bunch. *sigh* it'll be good to be that healthy again, too. but who am i kidding? i'd like to be hot(ter)! :lol:

is it weird that i feel sexier in the this community of strangers than with that group of friends? :rolleyes: especially since i'm gonna get naked here a lot more (well..possibly...those photographers are a wild bunch!) i guess it's just inevitable that photographers really are constantly judging what is "photogenic" and not just what is "attractive"...one is purely physical, and the other takes into account personality. i normally have reasonable self-esteem, but with all the cameras around (and lets face it, sometimes hot models) i can get overwhelmed and start to feel unnattractive. i don't know that losing weight will fix that, but at least being back to a weight that I am used to...that will help.

ok...rambling over. but this is a blog, right? I'm allowed!

I've been reading and lurking at this site for such a long time now..about a year. Between that and a lot of the couples and men we've spoken to over the months, I've made some observations. Now I could be wrong, and maybe I'm seeing what I want to see...but here goes anyway.

*The majority of men who enjoy going down on a women also enjoy seeing her orgasm. These guys seem to be totally ok with a girl being pleased. That's not always the case..there are some who don't even know what a clitoris is, let alone where it is or what it does! It's these ones that don't seem to be interested at all in females having any pleasure of their own. I am lucky enough to have one of the first kind :) Mr K&T likes to ensure I have my fun before him..several times if I would like

*There are a LOT of pretenders. And they are stupid! If my little alarm will goes off in about 5 mins of chatting to someone....then chances are it's right. I've been proven wrong just once (out of about 50). A girl I thought was only interested in chatting to MR K&T is in fact more interested in me. I was right however in that she is merely looking for friends and the chances of something sexual ever happening are very slim. People can't keep up the pretense for long. Eventually they slip up in one way or another. For every genuine couple or single, there are probably 5 fakes.

*"Swinging" can't really be defined. Nothing about this whole lifestyle is set in concrete. My idea of soft swap is different to others. Some would say that because at this stage we've only engaged in soft swap, we aren't in fact swingers. There are others who think that we can't be friends with those we play with, which is something we are actively seeking AND achieving by the way! I don't understand the need for people to label themselves or what they do either! I call myself bi-curious but only because thats what society can relate to. I have never in the past, nor will I, go looking for girl/girl play outside of my relationship. Part of the appeal for me is how Mr K&T reacts and enjoys watching it. Seeing him turned on turns me on.

*I don't really know myself that well. My reactions have surprised me like nothing else I have ever experienced. Things I thought would be an issue just aren't, but others I thought I'd be fine with I've struggled a little on! And this whole lifestyle seems to have that affect on others as well. It helps us to learn about ourselves, we surprise ourselves and evolve as sexual beings as well as human beings. Experimentation into something that society frowns upon seems to say to the world "I won't let you define me!" and that is liberating for most.

There were some others, but I can't think of them right now...guess I'll come back and do a part 2 post if I think of them!

Cheers, Mrs K&T

actually...i've had a headache for 25 days now.

i got a mild concussion at the beginning of the month, and the headache never went away. ct scan came up fine, so no worries, just have to live through it. ;) For the most part, it's just been a mild headache, but the past few days have nearly reached migraine level.

today i even had to take some (prescribed) vicodin at work, which led to me napping under my desk for an hour, :lol:

i am soooooo hoping this doesn't ruin my plans for monday. i'd hate to call and say "I'm sorry, I can't, I have a headache". How lame would that be? That sounds like such a classic excuse!!

Right now it's easing up a bit, so maybe by then I'll be right as rain. Or maybe that will be the cure.....?:rolleyes:

Well we've had what I would call our first swinging experience. I say it's the first one only because the play date we had last year was really just girl/girl play and same room sex, and I cut the evening short because my man was not enjoying himself at all...

But this last weekend was amazing. And I want more! All thoughts of potential jealousy are now diminished, if not gone completely. Seeing my man going down on another women was such a turn on. Hearing her moan with pleasure made me smile.

I find it interesting that now we've had this first time, he isn't as interested in the male/male play which is in fact one of the main reasons we ventured down this road. In fact he's gone so far as to take out 'looking for men' off our profile on AMM and reworded it to say basically that if it M/M happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't matter.

To be honest I'm a little pissed about it! I had to really work hard to get my head around the idea, and a lot of work was put in by him to reassure me that he isn't in fact a closet gay man (as my last partner was) It all seems such a waste now! A lot of my hesitance and fussiness regarding potential playmates revolved around that issue. I know he's not my ex, but that doesn't stop the fear you know? Anyway, I'm not sure as to whether his attitude will stay this way, or if it will change again...but damn I hope not!

I like the idea of this little blog here...it's somewhere that I can share my thoughts on this side to our lives and explore the emotional aspects as well as share our experiences a little. Not like I can call my mum and say "Hey guess what we did on Saturday night!" and there is only one friend who knows and she lives in another state :sad: Oh well..there are plenty of non judging people on this site to appreciate and understand our new adventures ::P:
Cheers, K