Question on bi-male experience?

[softnslow]

Have any of you experienced couple had a bi-male encounter by accident, so to speak. Meaning you met with a couple no knowing he was bi and before you knew it he was doing something to you? Had an experience years ago, before my present wife when my g/f and I were with a couple and he had touched me a couple of times but I had thought it was by accident. Later while I was "south of the border" with his wife, my g/f and him stopped and sat back and watched us, then I began to feel a blowjob, which was in reality very good, and I looked down to see him. I then ask him not to do that, I was not into it. My g/f was completely turned on about it and his wife was worried about it. He apologized and went back to my g/f and sat there with her, and his wife asked if I was ok and apologized also. She got mad at him and yelled at him asking if he have asked me, and the mood went south fast. We started to get dressed and excused ourselves very quickily. My g/f confessed that he had asked her if I was bi and that he wanted to go down on me, she was interested in it but forgot the important part, it was me receiving it. Anyway, I would like to hear your input on this.

[Brit_Pair]

Never had that sort of thing happen to me (thankfully), though it's something that would probably leave me mucho p*ssed off. From reading your tale, it seems like - for that moment - your girlfriend's pleasure took priority over yours (assuming that you'd never given her any indication that you were interested in dabbling with male-male sex).

Amongst other things, this issue raises the question of spontaneity. For instance, planning things to the n'th degree is a turn-off for us. We have limits that we agree together, and then discuss with the people we're playing with before any clothes come off; but there's always the awareness that something 'unplanned' might occur, an action or activity that's far more exciting for all parties present because of its unexpectedness. First time Lady_B touched another man marked just such an occurrence. Until that point, we were *very* soft swingers, playing mainly for the femme-femme angle. Her decision to start stroking the other guy's cock was a safe move though, since Lady_B was the initiator and knew full well that the other three people involved would have no complaints. She's since said on several occasions that - if the mood and the people were right - there was potentially no limit to what might happen. But again, I'd be reliant on her:

• being comfortable in herself to proceed;

• being aware that everyone one else in the 'group' would be happy;

• taking the lead as a demonstration that she was happy.

As such, this would probably qualify as pseudo-spontaneity.

But what about those truly spontaneous moments? How do you avoid making a mistake or misreading a sign that could lead to a meeting coming to a grinding halt? We could be with another couple, and the other guy makes the suggestion that we go down on each others' wives. Making the issue clear like that would probably kill Lady_B's ardour. But what if he were to just start going down on her, without saying anything? She might be swept away by the moment, find herself loving what he was doing for her, give herself to the physical experience and then later think, "What the hell was I worrying about?" Then again, she might knock his teeth out there and then, and then come looking for me with a pair of bolt cutters in hand. How do you know which will be the case? How do you predict which spontaneous actions (if you'll excuse the pun) will go down well?

So (playing DA for a moment) in your girlfriend's defence, maybe she was attempting to introduce that moment of genuine spontaneity that would heighten the pleasure for all of you. That's not to say I'm condoning what she did, only that I'm suggesting a possible motive for her doing it (beyond her own pleasure, that is).

In any event, it's a pity that the encounter went south as a result.

[good times]

Never had this happen and must say you probably handled it much better than I would have (if it had happened to me I can almost gaurantee an ambulance would have been involved) We always make sure the couple we are with knows ahead of time that we aren't into any male bi activity. It seems to have wroked so far.

[misterbates]

(if it had happened to me I can almost gaurantee an ambulance would have been involved)

Why such a voilent response??? is there something wrong with bi men?? why are they any different from bi ladies??..if anyone touches you sexually without asking (male or female) it's wrong... but why do people get sooooo upset over bi male activity...i would bet that if a female went down on your wife without asking (if she professed not to be interested in such things) you would just sit there with a smile on your face watching....i am 6'6" tall and weigh 275lbs i also enjoy M/M on occasion so if we were together and it was brought up would you hit me??..... Doubt it!!

[jcbicouple]

We see two (or three) major problems with this situation: 1st the couples obviously weren't upfront with each other about interests. 2nd: The woman got mad at an SO and treated him badly because apparently he messed up her good time (explain THAT relationship). 3rd: We're both bi and couples like that make people look bad. Just like some singles make all singles look bad. They broke all of the MAJOR ground rules of swinging. 1) Your partner comes first. 2) You are upfront about interests so there's not issues in the bedroom. Granted you can't cover everything, but if you haven't covered it: You should probably ask. (imagine if the guy would have just started performing anal on the female....come on! Common courtesy and it has nothing to do with it being a m/m bisexual act!)

[butterfly29]

We have never had an experience like this, however I do know what my husband wants and does not want. And if something we had not discussed was asked of me, I would have them ask my husband direct, and I would expect the same consideration from him. Yes, we are sharing, but ultimately our bodies do belong to ourselves.

[softnslow]

I think jcbi and butterfly hit it right, knowing and playing by your known limitiations. My g/f had never discussed it, but she was bi herself and thought it would be cool to find out if I was or something. Well needless to say we dated for about 6 more months and that was it. I ended it up meeting my wife not long after that and have had a wonderful partner and family for the last 13 years. What can I say, it was destiny.