Is it ok for women to be straight?

[Highway Sexy]

We are new to the lifestyle and struggling to find couples that does not have bi-curious or bisexual female. We currently belong to two swinglife style sites and notice more and more that most of the females are either bi-curious or bisexual. We are both straight and for the past year we have received hardly any responses to our ad. We thought that the lifestyle was most often experience on a couple-to-couple basis? Are we cut out for this lifestyle if mostly the females are bisexual? We have made great strides in trying to enter the lifestyle but so far it has been very discouraging to say the least. Anyone have any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. HELP

[bccpl77]

We can relate to your problem but have found that most bi or bi-curious females have no problem respecting your boundaries. The female half of all the couples we have played with have been bi and have been completely respectfull of Ang's boundaries. However there have been more than a few couples who were not interested without bi activity, so it does narrow your compatability considerably, but be patient, there is a place for you here. Don't be afraid to talk to couples who are bi, if you all get along they will most likely be willing to play by your rules.

Rusty

[Sadie]

Being a single bi-female my opinion might not matter but I have played with another couple who were both are straight...it was his fantasy to have two women. I respected her boundaries and I think the majority of people do respect the boundaries. Just explain your rules before playing...don't wait until you are in bedroom. I would rather have someone be upfront then beat around the bush, so to speak, and explain what is acceptable and what is not.

[shoreguy]

I'm not even sure how much it's "couple-to-couple" vs. the many other variations possible. It certainly seems that straight females are in a very small minority. Mostly we play with one other couple at a time, and the girls always play together. It's the big attraction to swinging for many women.

If she can bring herself to do it, you could try a couple with a bi female. I don't think any would do anything to make her uncomfortable.

Also, maybe you need to be more proactive and send responses to other ads. I can imagine many couples with bi females passing an ad by because she's straight, but might be willing to meet if you asked. Many would say no, but that has to be one of the easiest reasons to accept a rejection. It's not like there's anything wrong with you, she's just not into girls. Obviously, read the ads to make sure you don't send messages to people who explicitly state they aren't interested in straight women.

[OhioCouple]

These are some very good questions, Highway Sexy. In our experience we have found that listing yourself as bi-sexual or curious can cause just as many problems and therefore removed it from our ad site, leaving it as 'unanswered'. After having done so, it really cut down on the mailings from those that (IMO) had no business listing theirselves as either or the above.

I think people get the wrong idea about bi-sexuality and ASSUME that because they list themselves as such, they are going to be persuing you like a dog in heat. We have found that to not be the case in most instances and have played with couples in which the female was straight and had a great time. We have never chosen to write or meet with couples based on how they list themselves in terms of sexual preference. We meet them based on overall compatibility.

I can't recall your location, so I don't know what the concentration of swingers are in your area, but as the others have said, as long as you are upfront you'll doubtfully encounter any problems meeting with those that are bi-sexual.

Another thing you may want to look at is how you portray yourself in your ad. As you are straight, do you sound over bearing to the fact that you are? We have run across ads where in some post comments like "WE ARE BOTH STRAIGHT SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE." In big bold letters. That is an immediate turn off to us as we could read they are straight, but they felt the need to repeat it throughout their ad. That to us spells homo-phobic and could lead to disaster by accidental touch. We feel the same way about ads that post every other line with things such as "NO SINGLE MEN". Repetitiveness is a huge turn off. But again, that has to do with general compatibility. If someone feels the need to say something over and over again, I'd have to assume that they couldn't be quiet long enough to ever get down to sex.

I'm not saying that this could be part of it, I'm just throwing out some food for thought, based on our experiences.

[biblonde]

I myself am bi and we have played with couples where both are straight. I would never push anything on another woman or do anything that would make her uncomfy. I think it is a matter of respect. Do only what you are comfy with!! Although there are couples who are only willing to play if the woman is bi there are some out there where this isnt the only thing they are looking for. You just have to look and do alot of talking to the other couple letting them know you are only into full swap without bi activity. If they are respectful of that.....let the fun begin...if not you really didnt want to play with them anyway.

best of luck s

[Brit_Pair]

How many people respond to your advert will be determined by many variables, but your lack of a bi-female will almost certainly have some impact on the results. As soft-swingers, play between the two women makes up a large element of the pleasure we aim to experience from meeting others, and so we automatically rule out playing with all-straight couples. Any couple for whom female-female interaction is a major attraction is apt to react similarly. However, as others have already said above, there are bi-females (both in couples and singly) who are happy to respect the limits of a straight female. And there are others out there with the same boundaries as yourselves. So don’t discount yourself as being suitable for the lifestyle. It may simply be a case of you having to continue to show patience.

[J & K]

Bi this--Bi there--is Bi everywhere?

My wife is straight, but at the same time has a curious level to her. So curious just means that. That is why we put in our profile on our ad for bi chicks not to push it, but it might happen on it's own. This bi girl thing on the ads is mostly looked at by the male from a poll we saw on here since most males do the searching on ads. My wife might say, "she is cute", but she looks at more of the male aspect of a cpl since the men are the main swinging toy in her eyes. As my wife puts it---women aren't born with a tool to please a lady from the inside in a natural way. Woman only have a mouth to please with (as do males) so a man can do more for a lady. "K" says the bi thing is more of emotional sexual contact (so are men) for a turn on. She wants to experience some female contact at times, but it has to happen on it's own and not be pressured into it. We have found most bi girls respect that anyways.

I prefere straight ladies myself because I then know the cpl is going after both of us and not just the wife only while I am more of a sideliner for the cpl (not fair). We look at bi girls as we would a straight lady---it don't matter. As long as we can have fun and stay within everybody's personal rules it is "all good".

[Perseus]

You think it is bad to put bi in your ad as a woman, try it as a man. It is almost like you are a pariah. I don't know ehy, but for some reason people think that if you say you are bi, you are goona be all over someone that does not go there. I even put in my ads that I am bi, but don't expect it, but I don't think it helps. Oh well, I guess that is the nature of the beast.

Perseus

[Highway Sexy]

Thanks to all of you who answer the previous thread on bisexuality. It help a lot. More specifically:

bccp177 - Thanks for the tip on not been afraid to talk to couples with a bi-sexual female.

Sadie - Most men enjoy seen two woment getting it on, even suggested. Not me in my case. This is definetly a turn off. When I see adult videos with bi-females, I always forward the tape. It doesn't do anything for me. So I wouldn't have any problems explaining before playing.

Shoreguy - That's very disappointing to know that straight females are in the very small minority. That's exactly what we both are finding out from both of the sites we subscrite to. It's really getting on my nerves So it seems the lifestyle is mainly for bisexual women and not so much for couples. We have been proactive by sending e-mails but the combination of being straight, soft swap and newbie might not be in our favor.

Ohio Couple - Thanks for sharing your experiences. We have also read their profile and time and time again is the female who wants to explore her bisexuality. We live in Burtonsville, Maryland and we go to this off- premise club for the past year but haven't been successful at all. I don't think we sound overbearing in our ads since we only mention once that we are straight. Wedon't bold anything. We recently received an e-mail from a couple interested in our ad. However, the whole e-mail was type in capital letters -- big turn off!!My wife said it sounded like she was yelling at us!!

bi-blonde - Thanks for the info. We'll keep that in mind.

Brit Pair - Your response was certainly an eye opener. We are also soft swingers. That's the way we want to start in the lifestyle. But seen two women making out is not my idea of the lifestyle. Our ideal would be to flrit and be around with the opposite sex and establish a strong relationship before proceeding to the next level. So thanks for giving us the confidence to continue pursuing this lifestyle. And yes it takes a lot of patience, not only with finding the right couple but your significant other as well.

J & K - Thanks for your tips. It help too. I think we will change our profile to bi-curious so it gives us a little bit of an edge on recieving more responses to our ad. I'm glad your wife feels the thing is more emotional. I'm glad I'm not alone in prefering straight ladies. We have the same exact idea that the couple is going after both of us. After all who would want to be on the sidelines. Certainly not me. We want to make this fun for both of us.

[remox]

Bi-sexuality is not a mandate to have sex with both partners. It merely informs you that the person might be willing. If there is no attraction, there is no attraction. This does not mean that you cannot have strictly heterosexual encounters with bi-sexual persons. Hell, the couples with bi-guys do it all the time.

[remox]

I think we will change our profile to bi-curious so it gives us a little bit of an edge on recieving more responses to our ad.

This is called lying. I don't recommend it.

[good times]

We have played with many couples that the female is bi and never have had a problem with it once p explains to them that she won't go there. I also agree that lying in your add is not the way to go, lets face it, for us we have no desire to hook up with a couple who's main iterest is bi activity. In fact in our add we specifically state that while we don't discriminate against bi couples we won't participate in those activities.

R

[Perseus]

Originally posted by remox
This is called lying. I don't recommend it.

You have to admit. If a woman says they are bi, it is way different world then if a man says they are bi in the swinger community.

Perseus

[Perseus]

Originally posted by good times
We have played with many couples that the female is bi and never have had a problem with it once p explains to them that she won't go there. I also agree that lying in your add is not the way to go, lets face it, for us we have no desire to hook up with a couple who's main iterest is bi activity. In fact in our add we specifically state that while we don't discriminate against bi couples we won't participate in those activities.

R

You also have to admit that if you don't desciminate,you are in the minority... How many couples hear "bi" or "BDSM" or whatever, the discriminate.... If bi is part of what I amm, but not my focus of my sexual pleasure, should I advertise it?

Perseus