bisexual?

[dpdarling]

i see the term "bi" quite often in bios, and the newer "socially bi." my definitions dont square with those of others. i kno this couple, they've been together 20 years. they are married, but i get no inkling of their sex life. i do know that she dates women, and presumably has sex with women. i consider her a lesbian, or at least borderline lesbian. if a man has intercourse with another man, hes considered gay to me, or , again, borderline gay. if a guy says hes bi because he likes for the female to screw him with a strap-on, hes a girl wannabe. if any of this is done in a group sex, or orgie type situation, you could argue that its indeed being bisexual. do you think im being too harsh? i still think of myself as very liberal, and open minded.

[OhioCouple]

My defenitions are this:

BI-sexual = Enjoys having sex with both males and females

Socially-BI = Participating in sexual acts for the benefit of those around them.

Lesbian= Wouldn't touch a man sexually with a ten foot pole, they want soley women

Gay= Wouldn't touch a woman sexually with a ten foot pole, they want soley men.

[naughty A]

I think that you are being a bit harsh with the Socially Bi- def'n... not to say that it is not true...

I think a lot of women get off on the exhibitionist aspect of being socially bi ... so doing it for the "benefit of others..." seems an incomplete def'n.

although I understand your personal motivations behind your def'n.

how about Bi-Sensuous and Selectively Bi? or shall I go digging through the old threads...?

I know that I am bi... but just as I am NOT attracted to EVERY MAN I meet, a woman doesn't turn me on JUST because she is a woman... there has to be something more ... I like to play with women, I like to touch them and to give them pleasure but at the conclusion of the game... I prefer men.

DITTO other def'n

lesbian plays ONLY with women

gay plays ONLY with other men.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by naughty A
I think that you are being a bit harsh with the Socially Bi- def'n... not to say that it is not true...

I think a lot of women get off on the exhibitionist aspect of being socially bi ... so doing it for the "benefit of others..." seems an incomplete def'n.

although I understand your personal motivations behind your def'n.

how about Bi-Sensuous and Selectively Bi? or shall I go digging through the old threads...?

You are quite correct that I may be a little harsh on the 'many' definitions of what some consider bi. It comes from experience in dealing with women that were definitely 'playing' for the benefit of their spouses.

But wouldn't one that gets off on the 'exhibitionist aspect' really be just that? An 'exhibitionist' and not bi in any shape or form?

I've seen so many labels for 'bi' that it is amazing. "From the waist up Bi", "Selectively Bi", "Passive Bi", "Socially Bi" "Agressively Bi".....just to name a few.

I can buy into the "Agressive or Passive" aspect as that just states whether or not they enjoy being the aggressive one. But I would assume that they are fully bi.

I've stated in other threads that we removed the bi-sexual from our ads, due to the fact that it created more problems than not. I am definitely very choosy when it comes to playing bi-sexually, no different than we are as a couple when it comes to choosing playmates. While we may like a couple as strictly hetrosexual sex in which the other female is bi, I may have no attraction to her whatsoever, or her to me, but I'll love playing with her spouse.

So to create a new label for myself, I suppose that I would be a "Very particular, must be attracted to the other female in order to play with, Bi-Sexual female". If I'm not attracted to the female half.... Then may I have your husband for one more round please?

[naughty A]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
So to create a new label for myself, I suppose that I would be a "Very particular, must be attracted to the other female in order to play with, Bi-Sexual female". If I'm not attracted to the female half.... Then may I have your husband for one more round please?

but only if he's attractive and appealing to me...

Sounds GREAT to me. where do I sign up for that one?

[alabamafuntonig]

My opinion again
Bisexualality in a relationship I believe is a total physical thing. The gay/lesbian aspect I believe has the mental aspect involved. When you’re homosexual you have a commitment a physical and mental bond, a love for your partner. If you are a bisexual you just enjoy the sex from both...

[Roxysbayou]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
My opinion again
Bisexualality in a relationship I believe is a total physical thing. The gay/lesbian aspect I believe has the mental aspect involved. When you’re homosexual you have a commitment a physical and mental bond, a love for your partner. If you are a bisexual you just enjoy the sex from both...

I agree, I like being with women but not on an emotional level. I could never see my self in a "relationship" with one.

[keila]

I consider myself bisexual because I am sexually attracted to both men and women.

I don't want to have sex with every woman on the planet, (just like I don't plan on sleeping with every man on the planet), but I think when someone finds out that I am bi, that's what they think.
I have ended acquaintences, because when a female co-worker, neighbor, etc., figured out that I was bi, the friendship took a sexual turn on their part.

I couldn't play with anyone, male or female unless I was attracted to them.

[Roxysbayou]

I agree with you Keila. I do find most women very attractive, but I wouldn't want to sleep with them all. For me, in a swinging encounter I just think that it adds so much more when two women are that open sexually with each other. It's not one of those things that I live for, but its a nice treat from time to time.

[Vjklander]

amen!
J

[BiloxiCouple]

Here is another term? My wife is not currently bi-curious. She is also not bi-phobic. A swinging friend of ours said she was bi-neutral. They don't actively seek out other women. But they won't normally reject one either. Am I making sense? They all have their personal limits as to how far they will go with other women.

I just thought this was a good term.

[St. Augustine]

Here is another term? My wife is not currently bi-curious. She is also not bi-phobic. A swinging friend of ours said she was bi-neutral.

How about bi-considerate?

[wrnakedru]

Have about a zillion opinions on this topic and will try my best not to share each of them NOW (saving more for later, I guess).

We are a MWC ISO other MWC(s) and we include in our profile a description of me as "happily bisexual", sometimes stated as "happily and comfortably bisexual" and request the same status of the female of the couple. We quickly add (although this seems redundant in a lifestyle based on attraction, and the cardinal rule of no meaning NO) that this does not mean that the activity is mandatory. Rather it is what it tells us about HER mental attitude that is important to us.
Certainly any "happily bisexual" woman who has spent a social meeting with a couple where the definition is not shared will understand the reasoning behind our request. Watching the lady squirm and gradually have less and less to say if my eyes roam and linger at the view of a sexual enticing female does not make for a comfortable time for anyone. And having to monitor myself to keep from abetting her discomfort makes me an unhappy and gradually more and more quiet person as well.
We have found that the phrases bandied about do have different meanings to different folks. For instance, we know of one case where the term "bi-passive" is utilized to indicate a woman who is a "receiver only, no reciprocation will happen". Others may mean something as innocent as "she won't make the first move, being a bit shy, but is happy to receive and respond to overtures made in her direction".
Once again, communication becomes crucial to keep from being surprised at not having understood. Just ask when someone writes to you and expresses an interest - exactly what has happened with that "she is bi-curious and exploring that side of her sexuality" or whatever isn't totally and definitively clear.
Like Holiday Inn, sometimes the best surprise is NO SURPRISE!

P.S. Am of the belief it is possible for bi-males to be termed agressive or passive, but don't believe I've seen that socially Bi term used to describe a fella. Actually, this whole issue gets dodged mostly.

[BettyAnnMBSC]

just my 2 cent....

Gay/Lesbian/Homosexual (as has been stated already) mean just that -- same sex partners exclusively. Now, I have known people that were temporarliy Lesbian (I'm one) -- in that, when I was in a relationship with Kellye, it was 100% exclusive to her (monogamy) and I was then having sex only with a woman.

I'm really bi-sexual though -- not bi-curious or socially bi or any other kind of bi-sexual -- meaning only that I enjoy sex with women as much as I do with men.

It's much better than being asexual and is probably more akin to being omni-sexual or even poly-sexual; though polysexual might better mean that I enjoy one of each (FMF) at the same time (which is also true) facelick

One friend I have refers to himself as hyper-sexual proclaiming that "if it moves, f**k it!" though this might be used to describe many guys

IMHO -- sexual orientation can be, and often is, a fluid issue -- meaning that it changes over time and circumstance. It is clear that a person whose orientation is presently strictly homosexual today could become involved in an exclusively heterosexual relationship. It's also true that a person whose attitudes favor polyamory or swinging could change attitudes over time to one that favors exclusivity. It seems odd to me that many folks apply the adage you suck one c*ck and you're forever a c*cksucker. Another barrier to exploration I suppose.

Dr. Freud believed that everyone is bisexual to some degree and therefor homosexual and heterosexual exclusivity doesn't exist. Sociologists might say that bisexuality conflicts with sex role mores and is therefor deviant behavior; while at the same time redifining Gender Roles in modern times to explain the feminine and masculine roles clearly found within FF and MM relationships. (wouldn't that make an interesting thesis?)

Maybe -- just a thought -- sexual attraction has more to do with the individuals involved than with the sexual orientation of those individuals. That is -- maybe a straight girl could become emotionally attached to another girl provided it is the right girl, and sexual orientation has less to do with the outcome than her learned sex role and fear of social ostracism...

Of course, living in the south, I've found that many folks argue that there is no such thing as bi-sexual -- everyone is either gay or straight with no other options -- how sad Odd too that once a person is gay she is forever gay -- though a straight person can become gay...

But then, these are the same southerners that explain why it's ok for guys to have sex with myriad partners weekly while their wife must remain at home and acting like a nice girl and not a slut -- as if there were no nice sluts.

I often wonder why it is so much more acceptable to society in general for a woman to be bi than for a man to be gay or bi -- gender inequality maybe

Bottom line -- these are are labels used for either discrimination or communication. They only have meaning to the degree that the sender and receiver are expressing the same idea with the word. Since there is such a wide interpretation of bisexual; just as there is a very wide interpretation of swinger -- these words can hold no real power...

sign me
a bi-sexual slut in South Carolina; but still a good girl