Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20
Like Tree11Likes
The Swingers Board - The Swingers Board - The Original Swingers Lifestyle Community, forums,
  1. #1
    Here to Stay
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    28
    Status
    Couple

    Default Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    It seems that female bisexuality is expected(we have been turned down for my wife not being bi alot). But at the same time bi males have to hide their sexuality even in this open-minded kind of lifestyle. I say this because i have had many responses for threesomes from guys marked as straight on their profile and email saying they are really bi and would love to be apart of our fun. whether they are just saying it to get to my wife or hiding their sexuality i have no clue. We also have had a couple we met at a club say they would never play with a couple with a bi male. I personally am very respectfull and would never try to play with a guy that wasnt comfortable with it. And a quick search within 50 miles of my area only shows two couple in our age range who even have a bi guy. one with a bi female which im kinda afraid to contact(when we are ready to play couples again) for worry they wont want us because my wife isnt bi. so why the stigma against respectfull bi guys? i saw a couple of profiles when we went on vacation that they said in there profile the guys was respectfull and wouldnt try anything not wanted so obviously guys are afraid to even be naked around a bi guy. why?

  2. #2
    I'll think about it LikeMinds321's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    With Wild Things
    Posts
    10,102
    Status
    Married Female

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    Quote Originally Posted by MasterHack2007 View Post
    ... so why the stigma against respectfull bi guys? i saw a couple of profiles when we went on vacation that they said in there profile the guys was respectfull and wouldnt try anything not wanted so obviously guys are afraid to even be naked around a bi guy. why?
    I'm not a guy, but I'll take a guess.

    I think it makes some straight guys uncomfortable to think that a bi-guy might be getting as turned on by looking at him naked and performing sex as he (the bi-guy) gets when watching/playing with women.

    Simply put: It's just too ooky to think about!

    LM
    Last edited by LikeMinds321; 11-11-2010 at 08:32 PM. Reason: added thought

  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict ViSexual's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    922
    Status
    M. Male
    SLS Handle
    MikeandJan

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    As far as the ads..., you'll find lots of guys who are a bit bi won't put it on a profile.

    And, my wife isn't at all bi, and we have had several friend couples with bi husbands and very straight wives.

    It's not all that uncommon at all.

  4. #4
    Registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Central Coast/CA/USA
    Posts
    9
    Status
    Couple

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    Quote Originally Posted by MasterHack2007 View Post
    But at the same time bi males have to hide their sexuality even in this open-minded kind of lifestyle. I say this because i have had many responses for threesomes from guys marked as straight on their profile and email saying they are really bi and would love to be apart of our fun.
    ...Because there still is a social stigma or double standard in the swinger community regarding bi males.

    My wife and I are brand new to this lifestyle (we've had a profile for only 2 months) and are still looking for our first mmf or mfm. I am bi-curious and would like to experiment a little but I also do not want to limit my wifeís selection of available men and have no problem keeping my hands to myself if the other guy is straight so I list as straight on our profile. If I listed bi-curious, it would reduce the number of men willing to contact us. What we have done is created a second free profile that has me listed as a bi-curious. Funny thing happens; we get contacted on both profiles by a lot of the same men. 9 out of 10 men who contact the bi profile have their profiles listed as straight. After chatting with these men, it is obvious they have some bi tendencies but do not list it that way in their profiles. Before any of you condem us for not being totally truthful, the men that contact the bi profile are ALWAYS told of the straight profile and that we have the second profile to filter for bi men since so few of them will list that way. And it works well too! Granted we are not telling the straight men because we are still open to straight mfm sex.

    Itís sad that the Swinger community is still stuck on some of its old ways but it appears those old ways are slowly dying.
    Liberty777 and Frojoe like this.

  5. #5
    Tastes Great Less Filling SecretAsianMan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,468
    Status
    Single Male
    SLS Handle
    Secret_Asian_Man

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    Yep... it's definately much harder to find bisexual men in the lifestyle (at least guys who'll openly declare their bisexuality)

    A resource you might want to try are your local "kink" communities ... BDSM / Kink-Groups (at least in my experience) are usually much more open to bisexual / heteroflexible / gay men.
    carebear likes this.
    Have some... you'll want some more an hour later

  6. #6
    Laura's Male VegasLee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Posts
    2,139
    Status
    Laura's Male

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    Few things to remember.

    Swingers are no more open minded then anyone else. They are different minded. If it is something they don't want or want to deal with they are just as close minded as anyone else.

    In the "male" world of swingers, most feel a bi-male is a gay male yet a bi women is just more fun.

    It has got better over the years but many/most men don't or won't admit if they are bi.

    There are MANY bi men at most swing clubs and parties though. They just tend to stay behind closed doors.

    That is the real world.
    81lizard69 and carebear like this.
    You all laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at all of you because you are all the same.

  7. #7
    Here to Stay jessicat78's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Chubbuck, Idaho
    Posts
    26
    Status
    Couple
    SLS Handle
    jessicat78

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    I agree with what VegasLee has said.

    The lifestyle IS open, some of the people in it ARE NOT. And, yes, that is the real world. Jess and I both list as Bisexual. Does it hinder the amount of people who contact us? Perhaps. BUT, the people who do contact us are more compatible with our sexual likes and dislikes anyway, so it really is a win-win.

    :-) Lance & Jess
    Frojoe likes this.

  8. #8
    Afficiando of the Board Lascivious L&L's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Northern Vermont
    Posts
    378
    Status
    Couple
    SLS Handle
    DandJforplay

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    What Jessicat and VegasLee say is right on. When you are looking for males, it makes almost no difference if you list as bi, as you've found. The two major differences it does make is eliminating those who have a serious bisexuality aversion, and it inspires all "straight" males who respond to you think about male bisexuality and may result in a willingness to explore their own in a safe and discrete manner.

    That's why I would recommend listing yourself as at least bi-curious. It may actually improve the quality of the responses you get. If you're primarily looking for couples, there are those who are male bi averse. Personally I'd rather not play with even in a foursome with those whose sexuality is limited by bi aversions. Plenty of straight couples have no such aversions as long as they are assured you recognize that they're straight.

  9. #9
    Active Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    N.J.
    Posts
    11
    Status
    Male (Solo)

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    don't think it's hard to find bi male with a straight female. just search more......

  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict ViSexual's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    922
    Status
    M. Male
    SLS Handle
    MikeandJan

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    You can filter your searches on SLS for only couples with bi/bicurious husbands and straight wives. But, honestly, just put bi on your own profile and the couples with husbands who don't will find you.
    oc1234 likes this.

  11. #11
    Swingers Board Addict 81lizard69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Metro denver
    Posts
    472
    Status
    Married

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    The longer we are in the swinging community the more I believe the saying that the more things change the more the stay the same. There are lots of bi men that do not come out on their profiles for fear of discrimination. Heck you see it hear. Some people state that they wont even go to a club if they see male to male contact. How silly is that. I would just ask in a private message if the husband is bi. A couple of the man part of the couples we play are bi. They just never showed that to us and I think some of my early homophobia might have pushed them away. I am a recovering homophobe.

  12. #12
    Swingers Board Addict Fours Company's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Posts
    309
    Status
    Couple
    SLS Handle
    fours_company

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    Like other have mentioned, the main factor for the low Bi-guy factor is stigma and lingering homophobia both in vanilla and LS venues.

    Personally I believe the numbers are in no way reflective of the reality and there are more Bi and especially Bi-curious dudes out there who because of the perception don't wish to identify as such. In the same vein, the reaction of some straight men to same-sex contact keeps more Bi men from contacting straight male couples and vice versa even if both sides agree to play everything straight.

    In fact, personally I've never understood the whole concept of homophobia due to the fact I believe there is a certain amount of bi-tendencies hard-wired into all human DNA. Though there are those who would vehemently disagree with me, but I'm sorry, show me a guy who watching porn has never seen another dick and just at least briefly thought "hmm" or been aroused and I will call them out as a liar. Fantasizing does not make one gay, bi or even bi-curious and there's a vast gulf between what-ifs and actual trying something.

    We have been with several couples with a bi-male and even put on our profile we have no problem meeting with them as long as they respect the fact I have no interest in experimenting at this time and only one time was it a problem with a couple who kept trying to push those limits requiring us to break it off with them.
    Although Mrs. Fours is very bi, we use the same approach with straight female couples, in that we have no problem playing with them either and will respect their limits. We figure why should I give up being with might be a wonderful woman or Mrs. Fours, a wonderful man, just because of the orientation of the other spouse?

    By making where another couple falls on the straight/bi spectrum a defining criteria is just limiting one's opportunities and seems a trivial hangup.
    "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play."

  13. #13
    Active Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    10
    Status
    Married Bi Couple

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    I'm a bi male with a bi wife. Here's a little insight for the straights out there: not all of you are irresistible. No really. It may be a blow to your ego but it's true. I'm very picky about the men I sleep with and most of you don't fit the bill.

    And anyway, if a guy labels himself as straight only, then I'm hardly likely to grab his cock during playtime. That's just common sense.

    As for the pairing of straight gal/bi guy, I gotta say that's rarity. Switching your label to bi curious is good advice (as others have mentioned on here)

  14. #14
    Swingers Board Addict ViSexual's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    922
    Status
    M. Male
    SLS Handle
    MikeandJan

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    Quote Originally Posted by Frojoe View Post

    As for the pairing of straight gal/bi guy, I gotta say that's rarity.)
    I have to differ because of the bisexual husbands I know, all say their wives are straight. And, my wife has proven to me she is. I really think that a lot of couples list the wives as bi or bi-curious for the same reason the bi husbands list themselves as straight. It's go increase the field. Wouldn't it be nice if ads were more honest?
    yorktownvaguy likes this.

  15. #15
    Active Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    10
    Status
    Married Bi Couple

    Default Re: Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

    I totally agree with you on the honesty, Visexual. It would be a pleasant change. Also, you must tell me where you hang out because my experience is that bi guys generally come with bi women (who have encouraged their men to take a walk on the bi side). Lol.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Tags for this Thread


Similar Threads

  1. Is a commune feasible?
    By NatureLovers in forum Polyamory & Swinging
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 11-04-2007, 11:34 PM
  2. Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-21-2005, 09:52 AM
  3. Replies: 38
    Last Post: 08-02-2004, 04:45 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •