Is male bisexuality an evolving thing?

[ViSexual]

My wife and I got into swinging in the late seventies. Even back then, I can remember one guy who was bisexual, admitted it, and was accepted. But, other than him, I don't think any of the husbands were, or would admit it.

I've noticed, over the years that I've frequented this great site, that it seems more and more people are becoming more and more accepting of male bisexuality in the lifestyle.

Is the lifestyle evolving?

And, I've given it some thought to a personal perspective too.

OK, like most of the men here, I've never seen a man who gave my groin that little twitch that seeing a hot lady does. Hey, that's my definition of straight! LOL!

But I do remember when, at around 12, me and a friend decided to see what a hand, other than our own, would feel like on our cocks. And, how surprised, confused, and just totally 'homophobified' I was when I realized that his cock in my hand felt just as good as my cock in his hand!

Years later I let a guy attend to me out of, more need, than desire. Wasn't bad but not something I did again anytime soon.

More years and I actually tried it myself and found that it wasn't bad at all.

Well, now I'm in my sixties. I'm very happily married and would never want to not be. But, if I liked a guy, sure, I'd play with him as long as he wasn't gay. And, the reason for him not being gay is solely for avoidance of drama.

So, I guess I've evolved over time too! Anyone else have a similar evolution?

[SecretAsianMan]

I remember when I was MUCH younger - anything even approaching "homosexual behavior" was looked down upon and you'd be setting yourself up for hate & ridicule if you (as a guy) showed any signs or proclivities towards bisexuality or homosexuality (which were *so* closely tied together in my social circles)

As I've grown & explored more as an adult - I've gotten involved in MFM threesomes & group sexual situations ... (some of which involved bisexual men).

I noticed something which always struck me as ... wrong. Women were encouraged / applauded for exploring & displaying all aspects of their sexuality. But men... if they had any inclinations towards bisexuality were encouraged to do nothing more than hide it.

It just seemed unfair. And everywhere I looked, swinger-sites... polyamorous groups ... bisexual women were all the rage. And I *very* rarely saw anything to encourage / positively accept bisexual men.

It wasn't until I started getting involved in a "theatrical" hobby where being gay or bisexual was not required to be hidden that my mind was eased some.

At this point in my life... I'm comfortable seeing people of all genders express themselves sexually in whatever combinations they find works for them.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by ViSexual

I've noticed, over the years that I've frequented this great site, that it seems more and more people are becoming more and more accepting of male bisexuality in the lifestyle.

Is the lifestyle evolving?

I can't tell you 100% that the lifestyle is evolving, but I would put money on it. As with most things in life everything evolves and changes and swinging is no different.

I can tell you, after being on this board for a LOT of years, that the acceptance of bi-male sexuality topics has definitely improved. Years ago when a topic of male bisexuality was brought up it didn't go well at all. There were few who could discuss it in a friendly manner and/or felt that bisexual males had any place in swinging. Now, a male bisexuality thread is a lot more accepted and not so much out of the norm and bi-males seem to generally be a bit more accepted in swinging as well (or it seems that way to us).

I do know for us, when we first started swinging, hearing about or knowing of a man that was bi wasn't something that happened. Now, it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal. Of course the number people we know has increased and the number of different groups we hang out with has increased so it would make since that we know bi-men and hear about a lot more. But, even when we hang with the very first group of people we met in swinging, they too aren't as hung-up on male bisexuality now as they once seemed to be.


Like SAM said, we're now at a point in our lives that regardless of your gender or sexuality, if we like you and you like us lets party and have a good time in whatever combination works.


Teresa

[midnightplayer]

Bi married men is exploding in numbers, much it due to their wives refusing to be sexual in their later years, and ingoring their husbands needs. Second, male on male play is not as radically condemmed as it was in the past. Much more acceptance in the world in general. Third, male to male play is not gay but just sex. If you still enjoy women and men so be it. Close your eyes and how can you tell what gender the mouth is sucking your hard. The sexual world of men is definetly changing and expanding.

[Chicup]

I'm afraid I can't quite agree with the number of bisexual men, exploding, because their wives are not paying attention to them sexually. Unless you are in prison, you have other options if your wife is inattentive, which have been around for quite some time. Some would argue since the beginning of time.

I too have noticed an increase in the 'bi male' aspects of swinging, at least on the board. I do not believe this is a real trend in terms of changing numbers in sexuality. Its more of a trend in coming out of the closet, again at least anonymously. What I am trying to say is that I doubt the over all number of males open to bisexual activity has changed as a %, but the number willing to talk about it and try to find it has.

Still I think most are not open about it directly and will use the 'very open minded' or other phrases that can be used for plausible deniablity.

[ViSexual]

I do think that some men are seeking sex because of the 'lack of' at home and find it easier to have it with another man than another woman. And, I might ad, with a buddy there's much less chance of drama than with a lady.

But I don't think that is the majority. I know the men I've discussed this with are fairly happy at home, both emotionally and sexually. It's more the desire to explore something different and exciting.

I equate it more to seeking out a playmate at a party who is completely different than your spouse. It's the variety that's the appeal for most in swinging, right?

[Chicup]

If you are bisexual yes.

Willingness to come forward vrs the desire to be bisexual.

Many men may have bisexual feelings but are unwilling to come forward, and perhaps are now more willing to. What I don't think you will see is an increase in men with the basic desire to be bisexual, that will be pretty much flat.

[good times]

I have noticed more openly bisexual guys showing up on the swinger ad sites. I haven't noticed anyone who I have known in the lifestyle who has decided to "come out" as being bi though. The only change I have noticed is that more are willing to accept bisexual men in the lifestyle than a few years ago.

[Brian and Jo]

There is no doubt in our minds that the lifestyle is evolving. When we started to swing in the late 1970s female bisexuality was rare and male bisexuality was unheard of. Then female bi became much more common, even perhaps the norm - at least it is in our group of couples where all six ladies are bi. More recently male bi has become more common and accepted in our experience. Of course oral male bi play seems to be more acceptable than full male bi. It is our view that the increasing prevalence of bi play over the years has added considerably to our enjoyment of sex with other partners. It is both pleasing and comfortable to know that when we are with another couple (or couples) we do not have to be concerned about who we are touching, where we are touching them and what we are touching them with.

[ViSexual]

Originally Posted by Brian and Jo

Of course oral male bi play seems to be more acceptable than full male bi. .

Very interesting observation, and very true! When bi women play it's almost expected that kissing, for example, will be part of the foreplay.

But, with two men, it's more often only mutual oral gratification.

Well, we men do seem to think only with our penises so I guess it's only natural that we think only about our penises, and each others! LOL!

OK, I think one reason a man will try it is to learn what his wife or girlfriends experience when they do it to him. So, guys, aren't you also curious about the whole experience they feel? I've admitted, for years, that I was 'curious'..., now I'm beginning to be completely 'curious'!

[The Fuse]

I'm with the folks that have said male bisexuality is becoming more accepted by society in general, and that's reflected within the swinging community.

[Lascivious L&L]

Many men simply don't know they are bisexual. I certainly didn't think I was until my mid twenties when I first encountered a bisexual man in swinging. When he talked about how he enjoyed it, it piqued my interest. When I finally tried it, I was amazed at how I'd ignored it all those years.

With the emphasis by society on the negativity of bisexuality, many men will never try it because they have been conditioned not to think positively about it. With it more likely to be talked about, more men will think about trying it. Meeting someone who has tried it, who obviously loves women, but enjoys also playing with men, helps breaks the ignorant and silly assumption that it is "gay".

Oral bisexuality is full bisexuality to many. If you don't enjoy anal sex with a woman, as some men don't, why would you enjoy it with a man? Some gay men don't enjoy anal either. There are oral only gay men, just as there are oral only bi men, just as there are pussy and oral only hetero men.

[ViSexual]

[QUOTE=Lascivious L&L;411950]

Oral bisexuality is full bisexuality to many. QUOTE]

Of course! But, what I was referring to was more the intimate contact other than just intercourse, in whatever manner. You know, the kissing and other intimacies that the bisexual ladies enjoy.

[GerdOEvert]

In the late 70s male bisexuiality was present, but done in closed rooms, or back at each other's places.

It was not out in the open, except on Thursday nights at the Club, which was bi night for both genders.

Women were bi sexual at the clubs all the time, and they enjoyed being watched. Men did not.


Otto & Eileen

[appliancesex]

interesting thread.

when my fiance and i started swinging a few years ago, we were worried about how others would receive our admitted bisexuality. when we approached hosts, only one of them told us that they would prefer i not come with her, but that she was more than welcome to come alone.

while that was a little absurd to us, we appreciated his honesty and moved on. the other hosts told us that there weren't many men who were openly bi but that the host was 'certain' that some of the men were. they all told us to just be honest about where our motives were and to ask others about theirs and more often than not we would have a good time.

i don't know what life was like in the seventies, nor would i even venture a guess, but recently it has been my personal impression that while people are okay with the idea of bi men around, they are less inclined to include them as openly as they would a bi woman.