Varying Levels of Bisexual

[ClosetSwinger]

I recently have actually been struggling with WHAT to call myself.

I LOVE men (i'm a woman btw lol). I like women. I enjoy sex with a women but have never been able to "finish" with a woman. I NEED a man to be there to watch me and the girl go at it and then finish me off.

Granted this has all evolved because whne we first started this lifestyle I was kind of scared of girls. Who knows a year from now I may change my mind. lol

[CXXC]

Originally Posted by ClosetSwinger

I recently have actually been struggling with WHAT to call myself.

I LOVE men (i'm a woman btw lol). I like women. I enjoy sex with a women but have never been able to "finish" with a woman. I NEED a man to be there to watch me and the girl go at it and then finish me off.

Granted this has all evolved because whne we first started this lifestyle I was kind of scared of girls. Who knows a year from now I may change my mind. lol

I am not a Doctor nor do I play one on TV but, I would have to ask a question or two.

You sound like a lesbian friend of mine who REALLY enjoys receiving oral sex from either man or a woman but is unable to cum if a man is going down on her.

She has even seen a sex therapist about it. She and her partner like a little cock once in a while so they have a boy toy they call in. So far, the only thing they have figured out is that she is not completely relaxed or comfortable with the fact that a man is doing it.

The same may be true for you in that your bi-sexual activities have only been a year or so old. Perhaps you are not completely comfortable with that aspect of human sexuality! Not being bi is not a crime. Just try to think about why you engage in sexual congress with another woman. Is it for your pleasure or the pleasure of your husband? It should be for you above and beyond anyone else.

[DigginIt]

Originally Posted by LagniappeDC

We often describe Mrs. L as "bi-comfortable" - Her focus is clearly having fun with men, but has no problem dancing, kissing, and generally playing with another woman in the fun of the moment.

Mrs. Diggs profile stats bi because she clearly has no issue with going down on another woman or having another woman satisfy her. We like 'bi-comfortable' or 'bi-selective' because she really has to have the attraction first but when the attraction is there then watch out because she will go after a woman with the same enthusiasm as any male.

Here is an alternate question. Right after hitting that point where she climaxes she WANTS intercourse right away.

The women that are more towards the lesbian side of the scale. Is this you? Even if it's just a dildo or a strap on, do you want the intercourse or are you just happy to bask in the afterglow at that point?

Curious minds want to know.

[ClosetSwinger]

Originally Posted by CXXC

I am not a Doctor nor do I play one on TV but, I would have to ask a question or two.

You sound like a lesbian friend of mine who REALLY enjoys receiving oral sex from either man or a woman but is unable to cum if a man is going down on her.

She has even seen a sex therapist about it. She and her partner like a little cock once in a while so they have a boy toy they call in. So far, the only thing they have figured out is that she is not completely relaxed or comfortable with the fact that a man is doing it.

The same may be true for you in that your bi-sexual activities have only been a year or so old. Perhaps you are not completely comfortable with that aspect of human sexuality! Not being bi is not a crime. Just try to think about why you engage in sexual congress with another woman. Is it for your pleasure or the pleasure of your husband? It should be for you above and beyond anyone else.

I think part of it is that I was raised in a very religious household where sex before marriage was considered HORRIBLE. So you can imagine how bi-sexuality, or anything beyond that was looked at. I do it because I enjoy it.

Rest assured my husband and I BOTH enjoy the girl/girl aspect of the lifestyle. I wouldnt' do it if I was not comfotable and he has NEVER pushed me. I really enjoy knowing that he is watching and getting turned on watching me, makes me TINGLY. ;-) There is something incredibly exciting to me about sharing another woman with him.

[bathes]

there are many schools of thought on this subject.I AM MARRIED 26 YEARS not gay for sure love women.But hey you no what when mom said lets play and i loved it all with fmf and then mfm sharing a pussy with her is amazing you no what sharing a cock with her is also amazing so i guess if thats gay i am.. I feel that since i dont want to kiss or fondle a male and not turned on by men,just turned on by the sex with my wife im bi?? either way the 1st time my wife asked if i would suck a cock with her etc,i was so taken back i was shakey and so fuckin excited she wanted to bring another man to the bed (which never happen before always a woman)i would have done anything she asked ..Just wanted it to happen .To see her take another cock and for her to take it all everyway we and she wanted well ill suck the cock she wants me to. SO am i gay or Bi or just fuckin horney lol

[gsu22]

I normally label myself just as bi-oral...love sucking dick and getting sucked by another guy as a change from a woman sometimes...but that's it. Not into anal, kissing, etc....just 69'ing and on my knees...jacking off together is fun too.

[funfiend69]

I always thought the term "situationally bi" describes me well.
I wouldnt date a guy and Im not much for kissing guys
But I just get turned on by sucking cock, especially if a lady is watching

[Miss Behaven]

Originally Posted by funfiend69

I always thought the term "situationally bi" describes me well.
I wouldnt date a guy and Im not much for kissing guys
But I just get turned on by sucking cock, especially if a lady is watching

US too! All I'm interested in is the cock , not even the body attached to it, would love to share this with her.

[Lascivious L&L]

I thought the Epstein inventory lacked some key questions. Particularly about kissing and love feelings. There are more than a few males who are not attracted to kissing a man, but sucking him is delightful. There are many who do not feel any sort of love attraction toward the same sex, but do feel a sexual attraction. The inventory did not deal with this.

Labels are handles...they open the door toward knowledge, but aren't knowledge themselves. Calling someone straight or bi only opens the door to discussion of what that means for the person, the full extent of their sexuality. I'm bi, sure, but what does that mean? I've sucked cock and been sucked, but never had anal sex with a man. I've never been in a mate relationship with a man. Does that mean I couldn't??? I've kissed men, but have preferred to kiss women. Yet a rare man's kisses have stimulated me.

I tested a mean of 5.5 and a range of 11. The limited number of questions limits the fineness in those numerical gradations.

[scubaguy]

There is an improvement in the Kinsey scale that asks several questions to get to your position on the scale. The man that did the research and developed this died a couple of years ago in California. At the moment I can't think of his name; he has written a couple of books. He did a book signing at the Bi booth at the Phoenix Pride the year before he died.
I am one of those near the middle but slightly on the prefer women side.

[DiscreetDesires]

Originally Posted by DigginIt

Mrs. Diggs profile stats bi because she clearly has no issue with going down on another woman or having another woman satisfy her. We like 'bi-comfortable' or 'bi-selective' because she really has to have the attraction first but when the attraction is there then watch out because she will go after a woman with the same enthusiasm as any male.

Do you consider yourself straight-selective?

This is one part of those "varying levels" that I just do not agree with.
I am fully bisexual, meaning that I enjoy sexual encounters and relationships with both men and women, but there still needs to be an attraction there with either gender.
I would never be sexual with someone that I am not attracted to.
That is why I think it's funny when people say they are 'bi-selective".
To me.. it just doesn't make any sense.

To me (and I may get some flack on this, but it is just my opinion and is really only worth the credit that I give it), there is Straight, Bisexual and Gay.
Whether or not you enjoy certain activities or enjoy a relationship is really a moot point.
Not all straight women enjoy having sex, being gone down on, giving head, or even like being in a relationship.
Does it make them any less straight? Nope.. It's just means that they don't enjoy certain things.

I do agree though, that when it comes to the lifestyle, any information pertaining to things that you enjoy doing, or not doing, should definitely be discussed with any potential play partners.

[Dark Secrets]

13 Types of Bisexuals

The Kinsey scale of zero to six was developed by sex researchers to describe
sexual orientation as a continuum. Heterosexual people are at zero on the scale,
gay and lesbian people are at six, at the other end of the scale and everyone in
between, from one to five, is bisexual. According to Kinsey, people who fall at
one or two on the scale have primarily heterosexual sexual and affectional
relationships and desires, but have some attraction and experiences with
same-sex partners as well.

People at three on the scale are approximately equally attracted to both men and
women. People at four and five on the Kinsey Scale choose primarily same-sex
partners, but are not completely gay or lesbian and have some heterosexual
tendencies and relationships as well.

Who is bisexual?As you can see, there is no simple definition of bisexuality,
and bisexual people are a very diverse group. Some bisexual people are committed
to monogamous, long-term relationships, others have more than one partner
concurrently in a variety of arrangements. There are several theories about
different models of bisexual behavior. J.R. Little identifies at least 13 types
of bisexuality, as defined by sexual desires and experiences. They are:

1. Alternating bisexuals: May have a relationship with a man. When that
relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship and
may go back to a male partner next.

2. Recreational bisexuals: Primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian
sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

3. Motivational bisexuals: Straight women who have sex with other women only
because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.

4. Circumstantial bisexuals: Primarily heterosexual but will choose same-sex
partners only in situations where they do not have access to other sex partners
such as in jail, in the military or in a gender-segregated school.

5. Concurrent relationship *bisexuals: Have
primary relationships with one gender only but have other casual or secondary
relationships with people of another gender at the same time.

6. Conditional bisexuals: Either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a
relationship with *another gender for financial or *career gain or for a
specific
purpose. They include young, straight males who become gay prostitutes or
lesbians who get married to men to gain *acceptance from family members or
to have children.

7. Emotional bisexuals: Have *intimate emotional relationships with men and
women but only have sexual relationships with one *gender.

8. Integrated bisexuals: Have more than one primary relationship
at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.

9. Exploratory bisexuals: Either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with
another gender just to satisfy curiosity or ?see what it?s like?.

10. Hedonistic bisexuals: Primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian
sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

11. Isolated bisexuals: 100% straight or gay/lesbian now but have previously had
sexual experiences with another gender.

12. Latent bisexuals: Completely straight or gay/lesbian in behavior. Have a
strong desire for sex with the other gender but have never acted on it.
Motivational bisexuals: Straight women who have sex with other women only
because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.

13. Transitional bisexuals: Temporarily identify as bisexual while moving from
being straight to *being gay or lesbian or going from being gay or lesbian to
being
hetero*sexual. Many of these people might not call themselves bisexual
but because they are attracted to and have relationships with men and women,
they are bisexual.

[xxxboxy]

Recreational and Hedonistic are virtually identical and both caveated to require being under the influence of drugs or alcohol?? Pretty worthless IMO.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

Recreational and Hedonistic are virtually identical and both caveated to require being under the influence of drugs or alcohol?? Pretty worthless IMO.

I think that was just a case of bad copypasta. I used some Google-Fu on J.R. Little, since it didn't ring a bell, and this appears to be from his/her unpublished thesis from around 1989. Here's the list with an obvious difference between the Recreational and Hedonistic descriptors.
WHAT IS BISEXUALITY? By Kathy Labriola

I'm guessing from a layman's point of view that these definitions didn't catch on.

[Lascivious L&L]

It's the same old of trying to have neat categories for people and their sexuality. No matter how many categories you invent, humans have a spectrum of reasons and desires in their sexualities.

These categories here are just broad definitions of some of the reasons and desires some bisexuals may have, but there is no benefit in making them categories. We bisexuals all have differing levels of desire and differing reasons for our flavor of desire.

Even the Kinsey spectrum scale, while more reasonable, has arbitrary numbers. Why not 1-10 or 1-20 or 1-100? What's important is to see sexuality as a spectrum. Exactly what number you consider yourself is not very important.