Varying Levels of Bisexual - Page 2

mixtupcpl · 09-22-2009, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

And *is* there a differentiation in anyone's mind between someone who will have sex with people of either gender but will be only be in romantic relationships with one gender?

((shrug))

Definitely a great thread... What do you mean by differentiation in this context? It's most likely a very personal thing that will differ by individual.

For me, I would differentiate. I would consider someone open to an actual romantic relationship with either gender definitely bi-sexual. Someone for whom only sex would apply, to me, is something else, but I just dont know what

Arent labels great!

Chicup · 09-22-2009, 08:24 PM

I only think about if from a swinging standpoint.

Who a person wants to have a relationship with instead of just sex is irrelevant because we are not going to have a relationship beyond friendly via swinging.

So it comes down to who you do. If as a man you only do women = straight, both = bi, men = gay.

Now a bi man might say they only give or only receive or only do bj's etc, but thats irrelevant. No different than a woman saying she won't do anal, doesn't do BJ's or really likes doggy style. You are only talking about a preference sexually, its a what not a who, and the who determines your sexuality.

SheLovesTheSun · 09-22-2009, 09:11 PM

What an interesting thought! It makes a lot of sense, especially in this lifestyle.

mixtupcpl · 09-23-2009, 01:47 PM

That is a really good way to net things out. At the end of the day, many guys are simply not open in any way to any sexual contact with another man (I put myself in this category). Anyone who is, from a 'brass tacks' perspective, is "bi-sexual"

But I think the nuances come in when you want to explore the subtleties of all the folks who have now slid over to that "bi" category

I really do think there is a difference between someone who, in the heat of the moment, might "dabble" in bisexuality, but would never form a primary relationship with someone of the same gender and someone who truly ignores gender when it comes to finding a partner.

It's probably a LOT easier to imagine with women (for the average guy like me

). Lots of women seem open to a little "girl play" when things are getting freaky. But the vast majority of them wouldnt start exclusively dating a woman and exclude men. I do know women, however, who have done just that. Have actually switched back and forth based purely on who appealed to them and have, at different times in their life, functioned as straight, while at other times have functioned as, essentially, lesbians.

SecretAsianMan · 09-23-2009, 02:12 PM

True... in a pure "swinger" environment where the interaction is purely about sex - then the definitions become more cut-n-dry.

While there's no REAL need to define it all or put labels on everything ... I think it's part of human nature to do so in this day & age.

I personally used to identify myself as purely heterosexual ... however, as time has moved on and I've experienced different things in life (including a couple of 3-somes with bisexual couples) ... I still think of myself as "straight" ... but others might refer to this as a situational bisexuality (hetero-flexible?)

(((shrug)))

And as I was talking to one of my gal-friend who'd have sexual relations with both men & women (but only get involved in heterosexual relationships) ... we discovered that there wasn't a term in our vocabulary for that. Bisexual just didn't seem to fit.

xxxboxy · 09-23-2009, 02:40 PM

When Mrsxxxboxy and I have discussed this I've used a taxonomy that identifies who the bisexual person has a stronger affinity for i.e.; "bisexual--primary same" would mean that they're bisexual but have an affinity for same sex relationships or "bisexual--neutral" means that they have a seeming equal affinity for same sex or opposite sex relationships etc.

SecretAsianMan · 09-23-2009, 03:54 PM

Ah ... I see

(My inner geek is going to REALLY show here - forgive me)

Sort of like the alignment classes in the AD&D game. Lawful-Good / Lawful-Neutral / Lawful-Evil ... Neutral-Good / Neutral / Neutral-Evil ... Chaotic-Good / Chaotic-Neutral / Chaotic-Evil.

The geek in me likes that idea... now to just fill in the right terms for sex-alignments. (*chuckles*)

CXXC · 09-23-2009, 04:36 PM

Here is a little test I have found that helps put a degree of sexual orientation for the individual. I think it helped Mrs. CXXC come to terms with how she viewed sex before we entered the Lifestyle.

Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory (ESOI)

SecretAsianMan · 09-23-2009, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CXXC

Here is a little test I have found that helps put a degree of sexual orientation for the individual. I think it helped Mrs. CXXC come to terms with how she viewed sex before we entered the Lifestyle.

Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory (ESOI)

Interesting...

On their Zero to Thirteen Scale... I scored at 3 (with a range of 4... so I range from 1 to 5 as far as sexual flexibility goes.)

Chicup · 09-23-2009, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CXXC

Here is a little test I have found that helps put a degree of sexual orientation for the individual. I think it helped Mrs. CXXC come to terms with how she viewed sex before we entered the Lifestyle.

Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory (ESOI)

First time I took it a few months back I was a 0, this time I was a .5. I tend to not dream about sex with women as often as I did, so apparently that makes me .5 more homosexual

Rackir · 09-23-2009, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CXXC

Here is a little test I have found that helps put a degree of sexual orientation for the individual. I think it helped Mrs. CXXC come to terms with how she viewed sex before we entered the Lifestyle.
Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory (ESOI)

Thats awsome! Now I have to change my name tag to read;
Hello I'm: Rack.
Status: Married.
Orientation: Bi: 5.5 (with range of 11).
Looking for: f, mf, m.

Rackir · 09-23-2009, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicup

First time I took it a few months back I was a 0, this time I was a .5. I tend to not dream about sex with women as often as I did, so apparently that makes me .5 more homosexual

Embrace your inner gay Chicup

.

xxxboxy · 09-23-2009, 10:37 PM

A 0 with a range of 0....must be hetero-flexible or something...

TheLorax · 09-24-2009, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rackir

Thats awsome! Now I have to change my name tag to read;
Hello I'm: Rack.
Status: Married.
Orientation: Bi: 5.5 (with range of 11).
Looking for: f, mf, m.

Hey! That's what I got!

<high five>

PB&J · 09-24-2009, 07:35 AM

Hey, apparently yesterday was "National Celebrate Bisexuality Day", according to Craig Ferguson.

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09-22-2009, 08:24 PM	#17 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,093 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual I only think about if from a swinging standpoint. Who a person wants to have a relationship with instead of just sex is irrelevant because we are not going to have a relationship beyond friendly via swinging. So it comes down to who you do. If as a man you only do women = straight, both = bi, men = gay. Now a bi man might say they only give or only receive or only do bj's etc, but thats irrelevant. No different than a woman saying she won't do anal, doesn't do BJ's or really likes doggy style. You are only talking about a preference sexually, its a what not a who, and the who determines your sexuality.

09-22-2009, 09:11 PM	#18 (permalink)
SheLovesTheSun Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 56 Location: tampa, fl Status: couple	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual What an interesting thought! It makes a lot of sense, especially in this lifestyle.

09-23-2009, 01:47 PM	#19 (permalink)
mixtupcpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 321 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mixtupcpl	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual That is a really good way to net things out. At the end of the day, many guys are simply not open in any way to any sexual contact with another man (I put myself in this category). Anyone who is, from a 'brass tacks' perspective, is "bi-sexual" But I think the nuances come in when you want to explore the subtleties of all the folks who have now slid over to that "bi" category I really do think there is a difference between someone who, in the heat of the moment, might "dabble" in bisexuality, but would never form a primary relationship with someone of the same gender and someone who truly ignores gender when it comes to finding a partner. It's probably a LOT easier to imagine with women (for the average guy like me ). Lots of women seem open to a little "girl play" when things are getting freaky. But the vast majority of them wouldnt start exclusively dating a woman and exclude men. I do know women, however, who have done just that. Have actually switched back and forth based purely on who appealed to them and have, at different times in their life, functioned as straight, while at other times have functioned as, essentially, lesbians.

09-23-2009, 02:12 PM	#20 (permalink)
SecretAsianMan Tastes Great Less Filling Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,467 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Secret_Asian_Man	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual True... in a pure "swinger" environment where the interaction is purely about sex - then the definitions become more cut-n-dry. While there's no REAL need to define it all or put labels on everything ... I think it's part of human nature to do so in this day & age. I personally used to identify myself as purely heterosexual ... however, as time has moved on and I've experienced different things in life (including a couple of 3-somes with bisexual couples) ... I still think of myself as "straight" ... but others might refer to this as a situational bisexuality (hetero-flexible?) (((shrug))) And as I was talking to one of my gal-friend who'd have sexual relations with both men & women (but only get involved in heterosexual relationships) ... we discovered that there wasn't a term in our vocabulary for that. Bisexual just didn't seem to fit.
	__________________ Have some... you'll want some more an hour later

09-23-2009, 02:40 PM	#21 (permalink)
xxxboxy Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 360 Location: Near Seattle Status: Male half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:xxxboxy	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual When Mrsxxxboxy and I have discussed this I've used a taxonomy that identifies who the bisexual person has a stronger affinity for i.e.; "bisexual--primary same" would mean that they're bisexual but have an affinity for same sex relationships or "bisexual--neutral" means that they have a seeming equal affinity for same sex or opposite sex relationships etc.

09-23-2009, 03:54 PM	#22 (permalink)
SecretAsianMan Tastes Great Less Filling Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,467 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Secret_Asian_Man	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual Ah ... I see (My inner geek is going to REALLY show here - forgive me) Sort of like the alignment classes in the AD&D game. Lawful-Good / Lawful-Neutral / Lawful-Evil ... Neutral-Good / Neutral / Neutral-Evil ... Chaotic-Good / Chaotic-Neutral / Chaotic-Evil. The geek in me likes that idea... now to just fill in the right terms for sex-alignments. (chuckles)
	__________________ Have some... you'll want some more an hour later

09-23-2009, 04:36 PM	#23 (permalink)
CXXC Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!! Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 952 Location: Savannah GA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:cxxc1963	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual Here is a little test I have found that helps put a degree of sexual orientation for the individual. I think it helped Mrs. CXXC come to terms with how she viewed sex before we entered the Lifestyle. Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory (ESOI)
	__________________ Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!

09-23-2009, 10:37 PM	#28 (permalink)
xxxboxy Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 360 Location: Near Seattle Status: Male half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:xxxboxy	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual A 0 with a range of 0....must be hetero-flexible or something...

09-24-2009, 07:35 AM	#30 (permalink)
PB&J Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,308 Location: Southern Ontario Status: female half of couple	Re: Varying Levels of Bisexual Hey, apparently yesterday was "National Celebrate Bisexuality Day", according to Craig Ferguson.
	__________________ Who doesn't like a PB&J sandwich?

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