Am I bi?

[Karmickiss]

Hi All,...ooo, good one.
Being bi sexual myself, I have endless comments about it all... But I thought of something when I was reading this thread. My late partner, was quite an bit older than me, actually his first born was my age! My partner, was a beautiful man, inside and out....and very much the "alpha male" some ways. He looked and fit the part, outwardly at least. Something about his generation...his son I mentoned is bi-sexual. It took a while for Sandy to get used to the idea that his son is bi-sexual , and he blamed it on how he grew up. He was able to go beyond tolerance. He felt ashamed that he wasn't more supportive years ago, when his son first came out to him. He did make ammends the best he could.

I have always been very open about my sexuality. I loved talking about sex...he loved talking during, maybe but afterwards, it took a while. Once we did start two way conversing, he started an exploration process..that I feel honored to have been a part of, with him. It started off slowly, and completely by his idea and pace, but I started using my fingers,while giving oral, or while he self stimulated. We tried all kinds of things, gently, and he got more and more enthusiastic. We took a trip to the local adult store and purchased some toys. He was joking with the clerk, and so happy, I loved this period of time we had together. He said that by stimulating the prostate, the orgasms and pleasure overall was so magnified for him. When I was in school, I took every human sexuality course I could find...lol...along with inutition and fun loving exploration, I like to use my hands with either gender.

Back to what I started. I recall one sunny afternoon we were driving down a major highway, after a wonderful weekend alone with each other in southern Maine. We both love the ocean so..and the area...and had a excellent trip inside the hotel room, too. He was smiling and we were chit shatting, and he said to me, "I can't even begin to tell you how free I have been feeling, since we started to explore more, 'you know'" I said I was glad to hear it, and he told me, "(karmic), I thought all my life when I reached this age life would be over. But really, it's only now, at the age of 50, that I feel like a truly free man, and totally myself. I didn't even know who I was before". I will always remember that, it felt so good.The rest of our years together, this kind of play continued on and off. And that whole thing was brought on from the exploring things for him he'd never have felt able to explore. I recall at this time, I started bringing him with me to a few gay clubs...he was truly beautiful to look at, and everywhere we went he was a bigtime lure for gay men of all ages, as well as women. He absolutely loved and really started flirting happily back with the more charming men, with me right there and getting a thrill out of it, actually. He never did anything with a man...but said that had he started exploring earlier in his life, he probably would have gone there.

I dont know how to answer for anyone else, if they are "bi" or not. I think just going with the flow of what feels natural, and celebrating yourself, no matter what you end up deciding to identify as, is a good idea. You are the only none who can have the last say... Thanks for sharing.....karmic

[ClosetSwinger]

Originally Posted by qreskupl7476

I would have to say that IMHO, you probably ARE bi, or at least bi curious, but I wouldn't call it a bad thing, especially if your wife has no problem with it. From the sound of things, your wife may even be turned on by it, so what's the problem? You say you wish you wouldn't have done it. Is that because you didn't enjoy it, or because you have some shame issues because of the boundaries society and probably your upbringing have placed on you? You're obviously open minded enough to enjoy sharing your wife, so why not be open minded enough to allow yourself to experience something outside of conventional boundaries if you enjoy it? I have no idea why, in a community like the swinging lifestyle, occupied by supposedly sexually open minded people, there is such a stigma about bi men while women are allowed, even encouraged, to be totally and openly bi and it's all good. If I were you, I wouldn't hesitate to do whatever you and your wife enjoy and feel comfortable doing together. If you're worried about other peoples' perceptions, just don't make it public knowledge. You can always reserve that portion of your sexuality for "special" friends that are open minded enough to handle it, and keep it to yourself otherwise.

I'm not bi myself, but I would never presume to deny someone else the right to be if they so desired. To me the thought of it is pure hypocrisy. You have nothing to be ashamed of IMHO, and if you enjoy it, I say go for it and have fun. Just my $.02.

VERY WELL SAID.