Bisexual feelings...or I like sex with other men

Hi. Long time lurker, first time poster. The wife and I aren’t exactly swingers but we’ve had some experiences. About 6 months ago, after much talking and fantasizing, we had our first threesome with a guy we met at one of her work socials. This has grown into a regular thing with us getting together with him every other week or so. One night, my wife encouraged me to help her suck him off, and I found that I enjoyed it very much. It wasn't so much that I wanted a dick in my mouth, but he's become a close friend and I just wanted to make him feel good. This turned into a normal part of our playing...me finishing him off orally after my wife had her fun with him. It was always me sucking him with him never returning the favor. I mentioned this to my wife one night and she told me that we should talk about it during our next play session.

Last weekend, my wife told me that she had a special surprise for me. She wanted me to go out and have a few drinks with Jeff (our friend), and then we’d meet her at a hotel in the city for some fun. Jeff and I hit a very nice Gentlemen’s Club for a few drinks and lap dances. We got a good buzz and then made our way to the hotel for some fun. When we arrived, my wife wasn’t there but Jeff asked if I wanted to start without her. He told me how he loved me sucking him off and that he really wanted more. I figured “what the hell” since my wife was on her way, and started giving him a blow job. That’s when he told me that my wife’s surprise was that she wasn’t coming and that he was going to make tonight special for me. He then switched places with me and for the first time I had a man sucking my dick. We 69’ed and I was incredibly surprised that I was enjoying myself. He then told me that he really wanted to fuck me and that he’d be extremely gentle. My wife had told me a number of times that she always wanted to see me fucked by another man. I was a bit hesitant but the alcohol and passion made me give in. I got on my stomach and he lubed my ass and proceeded to gently insert his cock into my ass. It was a great feeling and I had an incredible orgasm.

Once we were done, we went to sleep. Separate beds, no cuddling like when you’re with a woman.

When I got home, my wife was so excited to hear about what happened. She really wants to see me with Jeff. WE talked about what happened and I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed.

I don’t believe I’m gay. I can’t see myself falling in love with a man, and I couldn’t have feelings for a man like I do for my wife. I really did enjoy having sex with a man. To be honest, I just like sex period and am willing to try it with anyone.

Does anyone else have similar feelings? For me, it's purely physical. Is that really considered bi?

Clark

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I don’t believe I’m gay. I can’t see myself falling in love with a man, and I couldn’t have feelings for a man like I do for my wife. I really did enjoy having sex with a man. To be honest, I just like sex period and am willing to try it with anyone.

Does anyone else have similar feelings? For me, it's purely physical. Is that really considered bi?

Clark

I don't believe you're gay either...being gay IMO is being able to have an emotional relationship/feelings (that go beyond just friendship) for someone of the same sex.

It does sound like you're bi...enjoying the physical pleasures of same sex sex.

There's nothing wrong with either...being gay or being bi.

Enjoy your new found sexuality. It seems as if your wife had no problems with it, the other man had no problems with it and you had no problems with it so, just enjoy.

Oh, Welcome to the Board, glad to see you come out of lurker mode.


Teresa

[LFM2]

Hi there, Clark. Glad you came out of lurker mode as well!

I have to agree with Teresa, above.

I feel the same way about girls. I could never love one emotionally like I love my husband, but I really like the physical part of playing with them and I know my husband has no problem with this. So, I do consider myself a bi-sexual.

Lay back and enjoy! I'm glad you have a great wife and friend.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I don’t believe I’m gay. I can’t see myself falling in love with a man, and I couldn’t have feelings for a man like I do for my wife. I really did enjoy having sex with a man. To be honest, I just like sex period and am willing to try it with anyone.

Does anyone else have similar feelings? For me, it's purely physical. Is that really considered bi?

Clark

Whatever you choose to call it, congratulations on having enjoyed and embraced this new part of your sexuality.

And welcome to the Swinger's Board as a poster! I hope you register and continue posting.

[cnt21211]

I finally registered. Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate all of the support and well wishes.

We've definitely opened up some doors and who knows where they'll lead.

We're getting together with Jeff again tonight. It should be a fun time.

Thanks again.

Clark

[LFM2]

Glad you registered, Clark!! Enjoy your time!

[realcplub2]

First, thank you for registering.. Welcome to the board.

To echo the thoughts expressed by Tereasa, congrats on finding the pleasures you enjoy. I am against hanging labels on anyone, and prefer to rejoice instead in your ablity to be honest with yourself, about your sexuality. The fact that your wife is supporting you in this adventure is again, a point to rejoice about.

Please, remember that honesty, and continue to share it, with yourself, your wife, and those you call your friends.

[JDApopka]

I have recently had the chance to do some male/male oral and i too found it very enjoyable. I love my wife I love pussy but i also just enjoy sex. i'm having a hard time saying the bi word but i am

J

[SecretAsianMan]

Thanks for sharing your story... glad to hear you had such a great time with this "new" experience and you have such a loving and supportive wife / partner.

[truckerbuddy]

welcome to the board. glad to see you registered..

There comes a time in some peoples lives where they get the chance to explore there sexuality. like you, you had a chance and a willing partner to explore that side of your self. As you said, the door has been opened, now see where it takes you, enjoy,

As for being BI or GAY ?? hell I love to kiss, lick, nibble and even suck on a women, dose that make me a lesbian?? if so ?? ok , I'm a lesbian. just because you enjoy some thing don't make it bad or wrong, it makes it enjoyable .. right?? hell I have said it before, a straight man or women is some one that has not had the chance to explore openly with a willing partner.

[ViSexual]

Well, back to the original topic.

I liked the way JD in Apopka said that he was having a problem with the bi word.

I think that bisexual can be best used if it's made clear whether it's a verb or a noun.

As a noun, it sort of means to me that, a person can be intimate and emotionally attached to either sex.

As a verb, it means to me, that a person can enjoy sexual contact with either sex.

I've always felt that bisexual was a verb in my own desires.

I guess that's why my most intriquing sexual thoughts are about MFM with no limitations!

But, that's just my personal opinion!

[gsu22]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi. Long time lurker, first time poster. The wife and I aren’t exactly swingers but we’ve had some experiences. About 6 months ago, after much talking and fantasizing, we had our first threesome with a guy we met at one of her work socials. This has grown into a regular thing with us getting together with him every other week or so. One night, my wife encouraged me to help her suck him off, and I found that I enjoyed it very much. It wasn't so much that I wanted a dick in my mouth, but he's become a close friend and I just wanted to make him feel good. This turned into a normal part of our playing...me finishing him off orally after my wife had her fun with him. It was always me sucking him with him never returning the favor. I mentioned this to my wife one night and she told me that we should talk about it during our next play session.

Last weekend, my wife told me that she had a special surprise for me. She wanted me to go out and have a few drinks with Jeff (our friend), and then we’d meet her at a hotel in the city for some fun. Jeff and I hit a very nice Gentlemen’s Club for a few drinks and lap dances. We got a good buzz and then made our way to the hotel for some fun. When we arrived, my wife wasn’t there but Jeff asked if I wanted to start without her. He told me how he loved me sucking him off and that he really wanted more. I figured “what the hell” since my wife was on her way, and started giving him a blow job. That’s when he told me that my wife’s surprise was that she wasn’t coming and that he was going to make tonight special for me. He then switched places with me and for the first time I had a man sucking my dick. We 69’ed and I was incredibly surprised that I was enjoying myself. He then told me that he really wanted to fuck me and that he’d be extremely gentle. My wife had told me a number of times that she always wanted to see me fucked by another man. I was a bit hesitant but the alcohol and passion made me give in. I got on my stomach and he lubed my ass and proceeded to gently insert his cock into my ass. It was a great feeling and I had an incredible orgasm.

Once we were done, we went to sleep. Separate beds, no cuddling like when you’re with a woman.

When I got home, my wife was so excited to hear about what happened. She really wants to see me with Jeff. WE talked about what happened and I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed.

I don’t believe I’m gay. I can’t see myself falling in love with a man, and I couldn’t have feelings for a man like I do for my wife. I really did enjoy having sex with a man. To be honest, I just like sex period and am willing to try it with anyone.

Does anyone else have similar feelings? For me, it's purely physical. Is that really considered bi?

Clark

Great story clark! Definitely enjoyed reading it...especially the part when you turned over onto your stomach.... The 69'ing and that part made me excited for sure lol...

I'm the same way...not emotionally attached to men....could never have feelings for a man.....don't consider myself gay since I love women more.. but I just love the sucking,fucking, rubbing part of MM activity...strictly to get off with another cock!

[Miss Sunshine]

I loved the story. My guy feels the same, he has never played with another guy alone but enjoys having everyone enjoy everyone in group sex.

[TheLorax]

Interestingly enough, among the GLBT community, bisexuality more applies to people who have emotional as well as sexual relationships with people of more than one gender. In the swinging community, you find very few people willing to admit that they have emotional feelings for members of the same sex.

So, to hear someone say "I'm not gay because I could never be emotionally attached to a <person of different gender>," is rather insulting to those who are bisexual and consider themselves bisexual because they enjoy both sex and some level of emotional attachment.

Kinsey rated it strictly on sexual activity. Masters and Johnson got a little more fluid (heh) with it. More recent sexuality researchers got even more complicated.

People who identify as bisexual because they can enjoy both sex and romance with any gender are often frowned upon by both gays and straights and spend a lot of time getting told what they are (well, you're really a closet fag: you're really just gay but repressing: you're really...)

All this goes to prove is that sexuality is a very complicated thing which defies easy categorization. Which is good and bad. Bad because the folks who like to keep things simple and have definite categories people have to fit in get frustrated because not everyone fits in the box and it annoys the folks who don't exactly fit any of those categories. Good because lots of people feel that narrow categorization is a Really Bad Thing and spending some time to get to know who a person is is rewarding.

Me, it's easy. I'm bisexual because a person's gender is irrelevant to me. I become physically and emotionally attracted to who someone is and how they present themselves. In my life that has happened far more with women than men, but that's because my attraction is based on a mix of factors, including whether that attraction is mutual or not, which is more likely to happen with women than men.

So, to the OP, if you like sex with men, enjoy! If you only like sex with a specific man, enjoy! If you feel emotional attraction, enjoy! If you don't feel any emotional attraction, enjoy the sex! If after you've satisfied your fantasies and don't feel like you need to do more with other men, don't worry!

[Rackir]

I have very little to add to Lorax's response (I suspect Lorax and I have read many of the same books), other than to just emphasize the non binary (okay, non-Trinary is a better description) nature of sexuality.

It's not like everyone is just straight, just bi or just gay. Many (most research suggests "most) people find (as you have) that they will have certain tendencies or predilections of more than one category. A person may discover (like you have) that they feel a sexual but not emotional attraction to people of their same gender. Others may an emotional, physical and sexual attraction to the both genders, but not equally (I fit into that group, I find both genders appealing but I am much more attracted to women than I am to men). Still others may find themselves fully emotionally attracted to one gender, while sexually attracted to the other. And on and on.

It's not a series of boxes, with people fitting neatly into groups. It is rather a spectrum, with everyone falling somewhere along that line. Most research shows (and I tend to agree with it) that those who fall strictly on one end or the other, as well as those smack dab in the middle of the spectrum, are actually the rarity rather than the rule.

So try not to worry to much about the label. Sure it's a handy way to identify yourself to others, but as an actual defining tool those labels are seriously wanting. Also try to remember that sexuality is anything but static. Peoples feelings and desires change and grow throughout their lives. You are now in the very fortunate position to really embrace and play with impulses as they come along for you to see and validate for yourself exactly what you like and don't like. That’s something that I think, more people would be much happier if they allowed themselves to do, rather than being so concerned about fitting into any particular category.

So (belatedly) congratulations on finding yourself in a position to explore so many possibilities, and for finding yourself with a partner who encourages you to do so! You're a lucky man!

As a great friend of mine is fond of saying "being bi is be great, you automatically double your odds of going home with someone every night!"