How can you claim to not be even a tad bi-curious?

[Samsa]

I am a bisexual male who is new here and wanted some opinions on this idea. I feel that intimacy shouldn't be restricted between gender. I understand having a preference of pussy or cock, but what I don't understand is being able to form a preference before trying the best of both worlds. A huge part of this, of course, is the stigma of being bisexual or gay, but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable.

I'm going to leave it at that for now and just wanted to get some feedback from you guys on this, since I figure people in the swing community are likely a bit more open minded and willing to step outside their immediate comfort zone.

[NCfuncouple98]

Curiosity is one thing. Curiosity of "what is it that makes a woman want to give a man a blow-job, or have him inside" is one thing. Yes, I have wondered what it is like for a woman and what drives her to want to put a dick in her mouth. However, I've never looked at another man and ever thought "what would that be like in my mouth?" Never had the "Hmm, yumm" factor.

So while everyone is curious about sexuality itself, it does not mean they have any desire or interest to be with the same sex. Have I ever wondered or been curious? Yeah. Is that a curiousity I have a desire to fill? That would be NO. Unequivocally. No desire, no interest, none.

It's not about stigma, or the fear, it's about desires. And you either desire it or you don't. I have never looked at another male and even thought "I wanna".

Mr. NC

[CXXC]

I have to mirror NC here.
Everyone has fantasies and dreams. Mrs. CXXC had many fantasies and dreams of being with another woman. She realized them and knows that she enjoys the activities very much. She is, by true definition, Bi.

That being said, I have never in my life fantasized or dreamed of being with another man. I have not felt the slightest interest in performing nor receiving oral or anal pleasure from another man. Hell, I haven't even thought of kissing another guy!

My view on societal standards is with slight disdain. I have never been one to go with the flow, so to speak. My faith is also in conflict with many of my personal views in life and sex. I am not at all guided by the moral fabric of society. I get my morals from within, not from the outer influences.

Why am I not interested in the pleasure without gender mattert? I simply don’t find it appealing. Have I contemplated the matter to the fullest? I believe so. Mrs. CXXC and I have discussed it at length. If I were so inclined to do so, I would have already. She would encourage such an act as it would excite her. However, once again, upon further review, I am not excited by the idea. If it does not excite me, even in the smallest way, I don’t pursue it.

I look at it like I do any variant of the lifestyle. I am not into S&M. Water Sports does nothing for me. SCAT, HOT Wax, Bondage or the like are of no interest to me. Have I tried these? No. Why would I if I am not at all excited by them?

Have I been clawed and scratched, smacked and bitten in the throws of passion? Yes. But I found them to be detractors not exciting. Therefore, I can only rest on my presumption hat I am correct in my other thoughts and feelings as well.

Bi-sexuality is not something that appeals to me. Am I being close minded? I don't think so! I have, after all, given the matter a great deal of thougth and consideration. The answere still remains, NO. It is not for me.

[Speed & Trixie]

Originally Posted by CXXC

My view on societal standards is with slight disdain. .

Only with slight disdain, Mr. CXXC?! 'Cause I've read your blogs....

Originally Posted by CXXC

Why am I not interested in the pleasure without gender mattert? I simply don’t find it appealing...
I look at it like I do any variant of the lifestyle. I am not into S&M. Water Sports does nothing for me. SCAT, HOT Wax, Bondage or the like are of no interest to me. Have I tried these? No. Why would I if I am not at all excited by them?

I think this would probably be close to Speed's answer, except he's actually made out with a guy. He said it was fun at the time, but he has NO DESIRE whatsoever to give a guy a blow job or have sex with him. It's like any sexual desire or preference -- you either have it or you don't.

Personally, I'm super glad I'm bi. IMHO it's twice the fun!!

Trixie

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Speed & Trixie

Personally, I'm super glad I'm bi. IMHO it's twice the fun!!

Trixie

Trixie... You crack me up!! I love you posts! However, I have to agree 110% with this posting! It really IS twice the fun!!

[CXXC]

Trixie and LFM2

First I would like to say that I actually do envy your desire and ability to enjoy both sexes. You automatically double your oportunities for pleasure and fun! How ever, I am simply not wired that way. Checked, thought long and hard aobut it, tried to add it to a fantasie but still did nothing for me. So, It looks like you two and Mrs. CXXC are just going to have half again as much fun as I will!

Trixie

Um, ok, perhaps I have more than a "Slight" disdain for societal standards. My folkway will beat thier morals every time!

[YZF]

Originally Posted by Speed & Trixie

I think this would probably be close to Speed's answer, except he's actually made out with a guy. He said it was fun at the time, but he has NO DESIRE whatsoever to give a guy a blow job or have sex with him.

I am on the other end. I find it very uncomfortable to make out with a guy but I will give them a blow job or fuck them. I have only been on the receiving end of some anal in the lifestyle once.

[Trace Ekies]

I feel certain that there are alot of men who want to try the other side but are afraid too as a result of stigma.

I've asked the question of myself but have no desire to try it on for size as many have stated. But I am sure that if you could get every person to be perfectly honest with themselves and then us, there would be alot more male/male activity in general.

I'd also bet that a few women who are bi- to one degree or another would not do it anymore because of an opposite pressure to be bi- versus men who feel a pressure to not be bi-.

Trace

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Samsa

I am a bisexual male who is new here and wanted some opinions on this idea. I feel that intimacy shouldn't be restricted between gender. I understand having a preference of pussy or cock, but what I don't understand is being able to form a preference before trying the best of both worlds. A huge part of this, of course, is the stigma of being bisexual or gay, but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable.

I'm going to leave it at that for now and just wanted to get some feedback from you guys on this, since I figure people in the swing community are likely a bit more open minded and willing to step outside their immediate comfort zone.

I've had my share of sexual dreams in my life. Not once did those dreams ever include bisexual contact with me and another male.

And you decided to beat a dead horse....

but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable.

This has nothing to do with guts. The problem I think everyone out there makes is that they assume more people have their particular kink then people really do, and if they don't its just due to a character flaw in the person without the kink.

I don't understand a foot fetish. I really don't. No amount of 'trying' it or guts would make me get off on feet.

I don't understand bestiality. I can understand someone so desperate that they might turn to it as a masturbation tool, but I can't understand people who don't need the outlet turning to it as a preferred method of sexual contact.

I don't understand male homosexual activities. I understand it from a scientific stand point, I am tolerant of people having them, I don't think they are wrong, but I don't 'get' it at a sexual level. I just don't see the attraction, and seeing it to me is the SAME reaction I see with bestiality.

You just need to understand that some of us really don't care about society (we are swingers, think about that) when it comes to our sexual activities, are open to new experiences, but just really don't want to have sex with other males.

[corynlaine]

I have to say that I can kind of see both sides of the story. There are some activities which absolutely do NOTHING for either of us and we can't imagine a scenario where we would participate in said activity.

On the other hand - I find is simply INCREDIBLE that on a board like this,
somewhere around 90% of women list as bi-curious to fully bi
and at the same time 98% + of men list as straight.

After being here for some time, I still can not decide whether despite all the protestation, this is due to the fact that bi-female activity is on the top of most men's hit parade and the women are forced/coerced/talked into doing it

Or whether the LS draws the more sexually assertive women to the LS and they are far more open. But if this is the case - what does that say about the men!?

Are they, contrary to perhaps what they think, really not in charge?!

The numbers - at least the ones seen in public just don't add up?
This LS is supposed to be about sexual freedom, yet when it comes to this issue, the men in the LS seem to as recessive as Sunday quire.


As, to the issue of - I've thought about it and I am not limited by social mores - I would only say that the MIND is the largest sexual organ, but it's also the most complicated one that is far better at rationalising things than most think. I wonder - is it really not being affected by the all the crap that society puts on men!?

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

I feel certain that there are alot of men who want to try the other side but are afraid too as a result of stigma.

I've asked the question of myself but have no desire to try it on for size as many have stated. But I am sure that if you could get every person to be perfectly honest with themselves and then us, there would be alot more male/male activity in general.

I'd also bet that a few women who are bi- to one degree or another would not do it anymore because of an opposite pressure to be bi- versus men who feel a pressure to not be bi-.

Trace

[CXXC]

You will find that most men are loath to attempt bi-sexuality for all of the reasons you have stated. Society does not welcome it. men do not feel comfortable with expressing the desire due to social standards. Th elifestyle is just as guilty in its closed minded approach to it. Within the lifestyle our folkways enable us to share our bodies with others. Women, are not necessarily pushed into the Bi activities as it is a desire not a demand from the men. I should say, women SHOULD not be made to do this. I am certain there are cases where this is true. This is an entirely different topic tho.
I have seen couples change their profiles where the man is listed from straight to bi. The well nearly dried up for them instantly. I attribute this to fear. Other men fear that they will be approached, or worse, made to do things they are uncomfortable with. (Women can get guys to do just about anything!) In the heat of the moment, they may well engage in male bisexual activities, enjoy it and then have to face the issue entirely. Are they really bi? Imagine the conflict in his mind! Therefore I believe most avoid it all together to avoid the confusion of gender bias.
One thing is certain. If we are as open and honest withour selves as we say we are with our mates, these fears, concerns, issues, should not be. Being openly bi goes both ways. Men should have the same oportunities afforded women. Hell, Mrs. CXXC would love nothing more than to watch me and another man please each other. It is a fantasy she relishes. Unfortunately, this will not happen as I am not pleased by the idea. I am in now way afraid of it. I have no fears of being bi. I just know, through much thought and deliberation that I am not!
BTW, women do rule the roost. There is no argment aobut that.

For your amusement, I provide this test. Perhaps it may open your eyes a bit. If you are honest with your answers, this will give you a better understanding of your sexual self.
Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory (ESOI)

[Speed & Trixie]

Maybe most men ARE straight, maybe most women are too. And maybe the straight males who bring up swinging to their wives are more likely to get a "let's do it" from a bisexual wife (rather than a straight wife)? Just a theory based on nothing LOL

BTW, I have held back in previous relationships and not told boyfriends I'm bi. Mostly for the reason Trace mentioned: I didn't want the BF to think he could get a threesome just because I like women. I didn't want the pressure of even having ideas in his head!

Hm, guess that would make Speed a very lucky man huh?

Trixie

PS- LFM2, right back at ya!

[funcpl4life]

Originally Posted by Chicup

You just need to understand that some of us really don't care about society (we are swingers, think about that) when it comes to our sexual activities, are open to new experiences, but just really don't want to have sex with other males.

I can't ask Chicup to change. If I want him to accept me the way I am, then I have to accept him the way he is. Is that too much to ask?

I tend to believe people when they say, "that's not my thing". People usually know what turns them on or off.

Mr. FC4L

[safireblues]

My husband is "bi", but he is not traditionally attracted to men. He never sees a guy and thinks "oh yeah, I want that." In the abstract, he doesn't feel like that.

On the other hand, I (the wife) am bi, and I have fantasized about women my entire life, and rarely about men. Still, I find myself more physically drawn to the smell of men, it feels more comfortable than with women.

What I draw from this is that sexuality is an odd thing, and there is more to it than the brain and the sex organs...there are hormones, there is chemistry, there are so many things. There are masculine people in feminine bodies, there are people who are in the middle.

What most sex researchers find is that people are on a spectrum, with very few people at either extreme and most people leaning one way or another. I have gone out with plenty of straight men, straight men who like cock, bi guys, guys who are just pervy and therefore like it all.

I just don't see an atmosphere on this here board where men can be open about who they are. Or in the swinger community. But I don't find it shocking since there are so few spaces in the world where men can truly be honest. And that's sad!

(((pervy mens))))

[corynlaine]

Originally Posted by safireblues

I just don't see an atmosphere on this here board where men can be open about who they are. Or in the swinger community. But I don't find it shocking since there are so few spaces in the world where men can truly be honest. And that's sad!

(((pervy mens))))

You know what worries me about this statement is not so much the truth of it, but the HYPOCRICY of it!

People on this board are all hard up about HONESTY and COMMUNICATION and LOVING COUPLES.
They universally deride (rightfully so) the married men who come here with the BS stories about how their wives just lost interest in sex meme.

BUT this is a GIANT elephant in the room that just screams dishonesty!

And you know what they say about little lie big lie!?