How can you claim to not be even a tad bi-curious?

[TwoLittleBirds]

I've wondered what it would be like to be female, and in sexy situtations. Or what sex with a guy would be like. But I don't feel the desire to do those things.

Actually, to be honest, I've also wondered how long I could survive unprotected in outer space. I mean, could function for a couple of seconds, at least? Could I avoid panicking or trying to scream? Could I whip out my rivet gun and damage the porthole of the jerks who pushed me out the airlock?

But I don't want to actually try it. And I suppose I'd rather kiss another guy, if it came to a choice between the two. But I digress.

The important point, I think, is that you do NOT need us men to say what you do is ok. It is ok. It is ok for you. Even if all of us said, "No way!" That doesn't make you bad. It's not necessary for all other men to say, "Oh, hell yeah, I'm Bi-curious, too, so it's ok, buddy!"

Live your life, enjoy your life and allow (or help) others live and enjoy their lives.

Not bi (or vacuum) curious, but
I'll still send you a big hug,
Mr. LoveBird

[Lucifersam76]

Originally Posted by Samsa

I am a bisexual male who is new here and wanted some opinions on this idea. I feel that intimacy shouldn't be restricted between gender. I understand having a preference of pussy or cock, but what I don't understand is being able to form a preference before trying the best of both worlds. A huge part of this, of course, is the stigma of being bisexual or gay, but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable.

I'm going to leave it at that for now and just wanted to get some feedback from you guys on this, since I figure people in the swing community are likely a bit more open minded and willing to step outside their immediate comfort zone.

Just because something may be true for you, it shouldn't be mistaken as something that is similar in all people. I don't have any interest in men, and not because of any societal norm or social pressure. I if I was attracted in even the slightest bit, I would explore. But that is not the case.

[realcplub2]

Look Studies aside.. There is one underlying fact that we attempted to communicate in our first post in this thread

There is always going to be a debate over wiether its preference or genetics, is someone hard wired to the role they are convinced they are, is it enviroment or were they born that way..

To Be Honest WHO CARES!

The whole premise of this thread started out with the idea that no one SHOULD say they arent into this or that without trying it.. This mandate is a GREAT IDEA.. Hmm lets see, for a few thousand years or better Shepperds are said to have spent many a lonely night breaking up the monotony by giving a Ewe some "special" attention. Supposedly placing them on the edge of a cliff gets them to push back.. according to all the bad jokes I have heard over the years..

Tell ya what lets test this little theory you have, about making a "informed decision" .. You know, practice what you preach?

When you get back from your barnyard adventure, Why stop there?

How about a bit of Hard S&M, care to be the subject of a holiday weekend Marathon?
How about Anal Fisting? Maybe a rolling pin? A Bowling Pin?
Perhaps a bit of Scatological exploration? Mmmm Hope your HUNGRY
Maybe some NECROPHILIA, Whats the harm its not like they are gonna COMPLAIN Course it is a bit COLD

Did I hit the REVULSION button hard enough for ya yet? All of the over the top subjects listed above to MOST people are Disgusting without having to TRY it to know they are turned off by each thing.. But of course there are those that DO get there kicks that way..

They dont advocate that you need an informed decisions to enjoy thier KINKs..

Now do I feel bisexuality, MALE OR FEMALE is a perversion, NOPE

Do I THINK there are those that can choose to enjoy themselves with the opposite sex, just as much as those those that choose to play with either sex.. ABSOLUTELY

The problem is all of this is subjective, what one person PREFERS doesnt mean EVERYONE has to be the same.

Would it be a wonderful world if SOCIETY accepted and Joined in in our lifestyle, Sure but then just like this whole thread.. its not for everyone.. Sure it would be nice

Lets pick this up again. after these words have really SUNK IN

[swingingedmcpl]

Originally Posted by Samsa

I am a bisexual male who is new here and wanted some opinions on this idea. I feel that intimacy shouldn't be restricted between gender. I understand having a preference of pussy or cock, but what I don't understand is being able to form a preference before trying the best of both worlds. A huge part of this, of course, is the stigma of being bisexual or gay, but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable.

I'm going to leave it at that for now and just wanted to get some feedback from you guys on this, since I figure people in the swing community are likely a bit more open minded and willing to step outside their immediate comfort zone.

My wife & I are new to this lifestyle and have no quams about being bi, we both see it as being perfectly "normal" to express ones sexuality in the confines of the bedroom and we both have allot of fun with single men and ladies and bi couples in the privacy of our home, that's where things break down, society says that being bisexual is just like being gay and therefor Not acceptable so it is something that must be hidden from public view, sort of if they don't see it it doesn't exist, the head in the sand therory at it's finest!
Clothes were originally desighned to keep us warm, not to hide whithin and from birth we are told what is right and what is wrong and that if you expect to "fit in" socially you must conform to cirtain moral guidelines and if you don't you are labelled an outcast, that's another reason we enjoy the swinging lifestyle, we enjoy being different and to be able to enjoy the human body in all of it's differences and beauty.

[SheLovesTheSun]

I think everyone has a preference, but one should not be coerced into something they don't want to do.
I can often understand why someone (man or woman) might find another woman desirable. Heck, I can even admit that I find another woman beautiful, but am I intersted in playing with her? I'd have to say no, I'm just not interested.

[Lascivious L&L]

Ah, it's too bad this thread petered out a year ago.

One point missed is that bisexual curiosity is demonstrated by the mere fact of reading this thread. It is even more strongly demonstrated by posting in this thread.

There is a great deal of confusion between real sexual preference and powerful societal programing. We males are strongly programmed against sexual interest in other males. Despite that powerful, insidious, and constant programming the interest in male bisexuality is amazingly strong. Even "celibate" priests demonstrate that fact.

What Chicup consistently fails to get is that bisexual men do not find offensive his or others' straightness, but rather his and others' offensiveness toward bisexual males. He has on many occassions compared sex between males of the same species to sex between different species.

Most bisexual males enjoy females every bit as much as straight males enjoy females. They may enjoy bisexuality between females even more than straight males because they understand it on a level straight males refuse to experience. Bisexual males simply enjoy more of sex than straight males.

[slimpickens]

Originally Posted by Samsa

I am a bisexual male who is new here and wanted some opinions on this idea. I feel that intimacy shouldn't be restricted between gender. I understand having a preference of pussy or cock, but what I don't understand is being able to form a preference before trying the best of both worlds. A huge part of this, of course, is the stigma of being bisexual or gay, but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable.

I'm going to leave it at that for now and just wanted to get some feedback from you guys on this, since I figure people in the swing community are likely a bit more open minded and willing to step outside their immediate comfort zone.

I cosidered myself 100% straight for years, could not even imagine.
Then several events changed my thinking. One was I was on a website like swinglife and saw this profile that intrigued me. When I opened the profile this guy had this huge gorgeous cock. I started starring at it, then thinkin I would like to touch it.
Shortly after that I met a man, normal next door neighbor type, who had been swinging for years. He told me about some bi activity... intrigued me more.
This same swinger man told me about bunches of guys that told him they were straight... but when the action happened.... things changed from straight to bi....

[DigginIt]

Originally Posted by Lascivious L&L

Ah, it's too bad this thread petered out a year ago.

One point missed is that bisexual curiosity is demonstrated by the mere fact of reading this thread. It is even more strongly demonstrated by posting in this thread.

Have to disagree 100% with you on this one. You are in a forum where everyone is encouraged to participate across all topics to provide different perspectives.

I read the hot tub article that Julie pointed out about a pedophile claiming to be a swinger. By virtue of reading the post and then the article, does that mean I'm secretly curious about wanting to have sex with children?

If I would have put my revulsion to what happened in that thread would that have substantiated that even more?

The premise that some of us are just in some kind of denial about our sexual orientation to some degree is silly. Am I homophobic, far from it, but it really boils down to my attraction being to feminine qualities and there is just nothing that turns me on about another male.

It has zero to do with social stigma. I don't think Chicup has any real hostility against bi-sexual men but just against bi-sexual people who think we are just in denial and have yet to see the light.

I can accept the fact that some people have less concerns of where or who is playing with their cock as long as it feels good. My question is why can't most of you accept that we don't?

[bicuriocpl]

I think what the OP misses in the first place is that there are somethings you don't have to try to decide that its not for you personally. I for one have no desire to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, yet there are those who skydive. Personally the whole thing causes my stomach to do dry heaves, but hey thats just me, to each their own.
As long as everyone is in agreement as to who can do what, to which and to whom, it does not matter what other people think of their beliefs. Thus although bicurious, Mrs. bi and I respect that the other couple may not wish to do this and thus would not force them to do so. Just as we would expect them to not push their preference for strong D/s on us.
If the mere fact we list ourselves as bicurous causes a purely straight couple to reject us, then it is their decision and no loss to us. They may miss out on a perhaps truly wonderful time and so do we, but those accept us as us are out there as well. I'd rather play with them and respect their ground rules than worry about what they will attempt. I will deal with that when it comes.

[Lascivious L&L]

The strong posts on this subject demonstrate that this is not merely an issue of preference, but rather of strong emotional significance.

If you were not at all curious about "How can you claim to not be even a tad bi-curious?" you wouldn't be here posting on this thread. Curiosity about skydiving doesn't necessarily mean you want to jump, it means you're curious. I've always been curious about skydiving but would never try it.

Being curious about pedophilia has nothing to do with wanting to have sex with a child. Virtually all of us are curious, most likely in a negative sense, in that we want to know who is a pedophile so he can be dealt with appropriately.

The emotions inspired by this subject show that it's not all about preference. If there were no societal programming against homosexuality and bisexuality, then there would be a possibility it was about sexual preference. But our programming makes it a very emotionaly charged issue. Yes, some may indeed have a simple preference for heterosexuality. Yet that cannot be assumed when for our whole lives this society has instilled the not normal message about homosexuality and bisexuality. How much is programming and how much simple preference? None of us know that.

[DigginIt]

I can see your "curiosity" point but the thread is not about being curious as you would think about "skydiving" and a curious person responding "wow, I wonder why people do that."

The thread is "how can you claim to not be even a tad bi-curious" which implies a conscious or subconscious thought of of possible action such as "wow, wonder what it would be like to ...[fill in the blank]... with another guy."

So I believe that there is a distinguishable difference between being curious about something in a educational way versus a hidden emotional feeling of curiosity to consider doing something which is what I believe the OP is implying.

Having said that, I am not even curious in an educational way. It's like the thought of fingernails down a chalkboard. The moment I start to think about it I cringe and stop the thinking.

[Lascivious L&L]

Sorry, I don't buy your lack of curiosity. You're here in this board posting. To deny your curiosity is quite a curiosity in itself! How can you say you're not curious with a straight face when you've invested time and words in the discussion about being curious???

This thread is precisely about curiosity in the sense that I'm curious about skydiving. When I say I'm curious, I mean I'm curious not just about the mechanics of parachutes, but far more about the emotions and feelings of doing it. I would love to try it! But I know myself well enough that the intensity would be too strong for me. I certainly have imagined trying it, what I would feel, how I'd react. Trying it in my head is quite enough for me.

The OP makes an implied point you may not have gotten. If you say you're not curious, as you have, is it genuine lack of curiosity or the result of all the negative programming we are instilled with. I feel it is the latter.

Your engagement in this discussion is evidence enough of your curiosity.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Lascivious L&L

Sorry, I don't buy your lack of curiosity. You're here in this board posting. To deny your curiosity is quite a curiosity in itself! How can you say you're not curious with a straight face when you've invested time and words in the discussion about being curious???

This thread is precisely about curiosity in the sense that I'm curious about skydiving. When I say I'm curious, I mean I'm curious not just about the mechanics of parachutes, but far more about the emotions and feelings of doing it. I would love to try it! But I know myself well enough that the intensity would be too strong for me. I certainly have imagined trying it, what I would feel, how I'd react. Trying it in my head is quite enough for me.

The OP makes an implied point you may not have gotten. If you say you're not curious, as you have, is it genuine lack of curiosity or the result of all the negative programming we are instilled with. I feel it is the latter.

Your engagement in this discussion is evidence enough of your curiosity.

There is a huge difference between participating in a discussion about something and having any actual curiosity or interest in doing it oneself. It is stimulating to discuss and learn about many things. It doesn't indicate the slightest bit of interest in experiencing something in the first person! If we didn't talk about a wide variety of subjects in our lives, we could not consider ourselves educated.

I can participate in discussions of various alternative activities, including sexual ones. It doesn't mean I'm interested! I sometimes like girls, but I would read a discussion of people who liked a lot of different things I wouldn't find the least bit enticing. It is good to learn about what goes on in the world. If I shut off any discussions of subjects just because they don't entice me, I'd be worse off for it. Even things that repulse me. They are still part of the human condition. Anything we can imagine, and more, has fans, participants and groups built around it. It's a wonder to learn about all sorts of things, but my interest in many of them is academic, to put it charitably.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Lascivious L&L

Your engagement in this discussion is evidence enough of your curiosity.

Here we go again.

Lets try another topic. I actually tivo the "Horders" show (and if anyone isn't aware, hording is a mental illness where you keep saving tons of crap and can't throw it away, leading to homes overflowing with stuff, often even garbage). Now I have no curiosity what its like to be a horder, I don't think 'I wonder if I could join the horder lifestyle', but being I am intellectually curious I want to know how other people think, and in this case how they think when they are mentally ill.

Having a curiosity on why SOME people do something is not the same as having a curiosity about doing it yourself.

Added the thread title was a challenge, it was How can you claim to not be a tad bi-curious?

And yet by your logic by clicking the thread, you therefore must be by default bi-curious even if your reason was to post why you are not.

I suppose if the thread title was 'How can you claim to not be a tad copraphilic?' it would mean that by clicking the thread and posting we are fond of shit, and we would be showing that secretly we are poo lovers, just a tad?

[CXXC]

I find the idea that I have been programmed and have no other choice but to feel a certain way to be highly insulting! After all, has not society programmed us all to have one partner and one partner only once we are married? How could we even begin to fill the ranks as swingers if this programming were so effective?

I am not at all curious about a sexual encounter with another man! I am and have been heterosexual my entire life. The thought of being with another man in anything other than friendship does absolutely nothing for me. I am not enticed, excited or aroused in the slightest. I can honestly say, I am the least “controlled-by-society” individual that you will come to meet!

My clicking on this thread has nothing to do with interest in bi-sexuality! I do not care if another man is bi. I have no concern over ones sexual orientation. I am not interested in hearing about male bi-sexual activities nor the advancement of such an agenda. The reason I clicked on this topic is simply to read the replies to what I find to be a clear and direct insult to any thinking human being! The OP refuses to believe that there are people in this world who do not “Drink the cool-aid” or follow the popular crowd!

I have no curiosity toward bi-sexuality. I have no feelings toward anyone’s sexual proclivities save Mrs. CXXC’s. To come across a thread title and debate that clearly sides with ones inability to make a free and clear choice for one’s self is like driving by a car wreck and not taking the slightest glance. Gore seekers all, we have to look! Much like this thread, I simply HAD to look! Certainly, I accept the insult as unintentional. Some individuals cannot help but defend their way of life without attacking the status quo or society as a whole for their lot! It is human nature to tear down the main stream while pushing the advancement of one’s own agenda! Being a heterosexual male in today’s society incidentally lumps me into the main stream school of thought. This is an unfortunate side effect of being hetero. HOWEVER!!!!! I am not a puppet of society. I am not one of the sheep who walk calmly to the slaughter. I am an individual who is well aware of my desires, likes, wants, needs and things that I care NOTHING for! I am NOT AT ALL curious about bi-sexuality! This I have achieved all on my own!