Asking another guy if he's ok with male/male in a 3some situation

[jamen]

I asked my gal about her fantasys a while back and she said she was interested in a 3 way with another guy.She has someone in mind we were going to approach yesterday buy he didn't show up at a school function.They were intimate a few years ago but recently he asked about swinging with us.We were going to approach him about a 3 way.How do you find out during the encounter or before if he is ok with a bit of guy guy stuff .We are in a honest secure relationship and am ready for some exploring.She is a bit concerned about STD with someone we don't know yet so her old friend seems safe to her.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by jamen

How do you find out during the encounter or before if he is ok with a bit of guy guy stuff. We are in a honest secure relationship and am ready for some exploring.

to the Swingers Board.

The only bit of advice we can give you is to ask what he's comfortable with. Most men are NOT comfortable with guy/guy touching, and some will totally be up for it.

There is nothing wrong with exploring. We like to explore ourselves. That's what's great about swinging. We get variety with different couples or singles.

[joaninla]

For me, our first MFM was with an ex boyfriend of mine, and I'll tell you it made that first experience so much easier for me; I was able to relax, not worry so much if everything was OK, and enjoyed the hell out of it (so did my husband and ex-boyfriend!). We've found after many MFM's that there is always some contact between the two guys - depending on what you are doing it is sort of unavoidable. Ask what he is comfortable with. Good luck, let us know how it works out.

[SecretAsianMan]

Being concerned about STD's is a smart thing ... especially if this isn't something you've really discussed with your "third" before. Honestly, I don't really bring up the topic of sexual practices or STD history with most of my "casual" friends.

Be safe... wear protection... and if you're REALLY concerned - get everyone tested and wait for the results so EVERYONE will be a bit more relaxed about it.

In regards to male-male contact... incidental contact can occur (or it can be more than incidental depending on what y'all are into) - it's something the fellas will have to deal with and be alright with if certain activities are done. Double Penetrations will almost always create some incidental contact ... however, I've been in scenarios where the guys always kept on opposite "ends" of the girl in the middle (oral & vaginal sex only - then switch) with next to no contact between the fellas aside from the leg / arm touching here & there as positions were adjusted.

[NakedInSeattle]

Ask him what kind of guy-guy contact he is comfy with. Your reason for asking is, of course, that you want to make sure you do not do anything that would make him uncomfy. In his answer, you will find out a lot. If he says no, nada, never, no how, you'll know he is not open to any kind contact. If he answers anything else, then the follow-up question is "how much of THAT would be too much." Then the follow-up question....you get the idea.

[Mr.Essex]

Ask before. Way, way before. If possible, get that issue ironed out as early as possible. Phantom hands aren't cool in a bedroom situation, especially when your inserted partner jumps away from you because he counted three hands where there should have only been two. I've been the jumper; I wasn't amused, and their lack of common decency is now permanently ensconced in my brain. As a single/extra male, he has enough to worry about without trying to figure out why his partner's boyfriend keeps on waving his junk in his face, so make his role (stunt/extra cock) as simple as possible.

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by jamen

I asked my gal about her fantasys a while back and she said she was interested in a 3 way with another guy.She has someone in mind we were going to approach yesterday buy he didn't show up at a school function.They were intimate a few years ago but recently he asked about swinging with us.We were going to approach him about a 3 way.How do you find out during the encounter or before if he is ok with a bit of guy guy stuff .We are in a honest secure relationship and am ready for some exploring.She is a bit concerned about STD with someone we don't know yet so her old friend seems safe to her.

Great question.. However it raises a number of red flags right out of the starting gate..

First.. With the number of single males that want to be involved in the lifestyle, its fairly easy to find ONE that appeals to you both, that there is no PRIOR history with.

Second, regardless of WHO it may be, unless you are truly open to the idea of being out and HOW it affects your child(ren), NEVER conduct LIFESTYLE conversations in the ULTRA VANILLA enviroment of a school function.

Third.. Regardless of WHO you may or may not choose, the person SHOULD be asked thier perferences again nearly right out of the starting gate, in regards to whats in or out with them. This runs the FULL gammit from foreplay to ??, and Bi play should be asked right up front.

Now, please do not think that this is all bad..

If this FORMER LOVER of your g/f is asking you both about swinging, he may or may not be involved in the lifestyle.. Or it might be a situation where he thinks a door has been opened to get back in her pants.. in either case, its up to you both to decide what you want to do.

When confronted with an chance to enjoy the pleasures of a former lover, most will agree to NEARLY anything.. You both know this person its best you judge his motives, but do so with NEW eyes